Before crowbars were invented the crows had to drink at home

Come to Tractor Supply.. ill sell you one.

Cast, is that you ?

No one knew how to measure hail until the golf ball showed up

I see your bad joke a raise you a worse joke.

This is the turd thread of world.

A turd walks into a bar.

He jumps up onto a bar stool and sits there for a moment, waiting to be served.

The barman spots the turd on the stool, looks around the bar and shouts, "HEY! How did this get here?!"

"Well, it's a long story... " says the turd, "basically, I woke up in the sewer last year and suddenly became aware of my existence. Since then I've travelled the globe and met many famous figures, including the Queen of England. I've helped doctors with their unsolved problems and cured many diseases that were thought to be incurable. I've travelled into outer space and back with some of the best astronauts in the world. I became a multi billionaire by investing in the stockmarket, then gave every penny to help children in need. Since I was in the neighborhood, I though I'd slip into this bar, have a drink and continue my work on disproving Einstein's theory of Relativity. I haven't got long here though, I don't want to miss my appointment with the world leaders. We're making an agreement today on world peace."

The barman just stands there for a moment, mouth wide open. He looks directly at the turd and says, "You're just talking [censored]!"

Not great, but you made this thread infinitely better.

2 blondes walk into a building.


You’d think one of them would have seen it.

Saw them open for the Melvins early, mid 90s.

They rock

I drink at home by choice. Bars suck. LOL

You waited 16 years for your name to show up in a thread?