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Dec 30th, 2023
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 Right or Wrong
#12469927
10/18/17 02:11 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,240
DavidWhatley
OP
TFF Celebrity
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OP
TFF Celebrity
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,240 |
My 32 yr old son has a drug and ex wife problem. He spent 2 months in jail this summer for criminal trespass for going to her apartment at her invitation. But, it was still illegal so he goes to jail.
He got out Friday, spent the night with her, got high Saturday, stayed with a friend Sat night, slept in his car Sunday night, and came to my house Monday.
He's broke, homeless and jobless.
Told him he can stay with me, I will help him get a job, but he CAN NOT, go to her house. You guessed it, he went over again last night. So I told home to pack his stuff and get out.
Did I have any other options?
"Every man must live with the man that he makes of himself, and the better job he does at molding his character and improving his mind, the better company he will have."
Pauline Whatley
A wise man once said.......Nothing
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469936
10/18/17 02:16 PM
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 9,880
swalker9513
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 9,880 |
Sorry to hear this. No advice, just sympathy.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469939
10/18/17 02:18 PM
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Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 13,083
UGLYSHCTICK
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 13,083 |
If you help someone who is helping themselves it's help. If you help someone who is not helping themselves you're enabling them.
I'm on the brink of doing the same thing with my 27 year old son who can't stay sober. My wife and granddaughter is the only thing holding me back.
stand your ground.
I'll be praying for you brother.
Last edited by UGLYSHCTICK; 10/18/17 02:19 PM.
Just want to make folks smile, and spit coffee on their keyboard.
If you put beans in your chili, you don't know beans about chili.
God doesn't create temporary people, you will spend eternity somewhere. Choose wisely.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469940
10/18/17 02:18 PM
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 50,379
fouzman
Methuselah
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Methuselah
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 50,379 |
32 years old? I think you did the right thing, and I'm very sorry for you and your son.
Coincidence is His way of remaining anonymous.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469942
10/18/17 02:18 PM
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 9,008
BlueNitro
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 9,008 |
Sorry about you troubles. Would it help you if you posted pictures of beautiful women in bikinis on some kind of forum?
All kidding aside, I think you did what you had to do. It's tough but sounds like he needs to hit rock bottom before any help offered will do any good.
LiftSaver Trolling Motor Mounting Bracket - Patent Pending and LiftSaver Transducer Pole Mount www.liftsavertmmount.com![[Linked Image]](https://texasfishingforum.com/forums/pics/userpics/2022/04/full-13-136445-34601ls2.jpg) ![[Linked Image]](https://texasfishingforum.com/forums/pics/userpics/2022/04/full-13-136447-69933ls1.jpg) Works with MG Xi5, Xi3 and MK Terrova, Ulterra, PD V2 and Riptides as well.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469945
10/18/17 02:20 PM
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Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 10,869
Nickbyrd
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 10,869 |
My 32 yr old son has a drug and ex wife problem. He spent 2 months in jail this summer for criminal trespass for going to her apartment at her invitation. But, it was still illegal so he goes to jail.
He got out Friday, spent the night with her, got high Saturday, stayed with a friend Sat night, slept in his car Sunday night, and came to my house Monday.
He's broke, homeless and jobless.
Told him he can stay with me, I will help him get a job, but he CAN NOT, go to her house. You guessed it, he went over again last night. So I told home to pack his stuff and get out.
Did I have any other options? Dw this scenario hits extremely close to home . You did the right thing. You did not have any other options . If you continue to let this happen and not stand your ground you will be walked on and thus become an enabler which does way more harm than good . I know you have feelings of guilt and other mixed emotions about the situation . I feel for you brother and wish you the best of luck in continuing to fight the good fight .
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469946
10/18/17 02:20 PM
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 32,750
HasBen
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 32,750 |
If he was 22,I might be a little more tolerant. Not much, but a little. At 32,he is on his own. Based on the facts presented, you handled it the way I would.
“ When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting.”. Steve McQueen
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469947
10/18/17 02:21 PM
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 6,364
David Welcher
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 6,364 |
It's called tough love!
Your doing the right thing.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: fouzman]
#12469950
10/18/17 02:22 PM
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 104,216
Bigbob_FTW
Big Sprocket Bob
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Big Sprocket Bob
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 104,216 |
32 years old? I think you did the right thing, and I'm very sorry for you and your son. this. he's a man and you can't enable him. Love him but set your boundaries.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469951
10/18/17 02:23 PM
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 62
ROT Angler
Outdoorsman
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Outdoorsman
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 62 |
That is a tough situation and I feel for you as a parent. I think you did the right thing he has to learn there are consequences to his bad decisions. The drugs are a powerful influence and so is the ex-wife. Best of luck to you, stand your ground.
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469952
10/18/17 02:23 PM
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 12,250
Indianation65
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 12,250 |
Sorry for what you and your family are going through, and actually, "he" had the options and keeps making the wrong choices. Severe addictions hurt loved ones more than they hurt the addict, or at least it would seem.
...------
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469953
10/18/17 02:24 PM
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,026
DI
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,026 |
Getting high on weed, or harder stuff?
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469955
10/18/17 02:26 PM
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 15,651
bogey♂
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 15,651 |
I hope that he finds his way, it takes some of us guys a little longer, but you did the right thing. Prayers sent.
you know, nothing wrong with seven men who met on the internet going for a swim together
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469958
10/18/17 02:28 PM
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 12,214
Cast
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 12,214 |
This is NOT your fault David. The boy chose his path and it's his responsibility to change his path. I kicked my boy out twice at 18 (when he knew everything) and he is much wiser now at 32. We're good friends now, I pray your boy makes it through this.
Cast ![[Linked Image]](http://winsounds.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Longhorn-Logo.png) I have a short attention spa
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Re: Right or Wrong
[Re: DavidWhatley]
#12469959
10/18/17 02:29 PM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,274
DillonCan'tFish
Extreme Angler
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Extreme Angler
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,274 |
My family went through a similar situation with my sister. It sounds like you did the right thing. Stand your ground and refuse to allow him to break the rules you set in your household but, be there when he is ready to change for himself. My parents weren't there for my sister when she decided to grow up and if my siblings and I hadn't stepped up, I feel she would have turned right back to the only lifestyle she knew.
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