Good One!!!!

Joanie wanted to spend more time with her man Joe, so she got Joe's friend Bob to teach her how to fish with a bait caster, since that is all Joe fished with. First cast she had a major bird's nest, 2nd the lure fell before she could cast and the 3rd hit the water 2 feet in front of her. Bob studies her hand positions and says he sees the problem and tells her to hold it like she holds Joe's rod. The next three casts are perfect.

Bob says "Great let's go for distance this time, can you take it out of your mouth!"

That is a REALLY good one.

2 young men were fishing off the bank when a warden walked up. One started running as the warden chased after him. After a long run the young man stopped and the warden said let me see your license. The young man whipped out the license . The warden said since you have a license, why did you run? The young man replied, My friend didn't have one.

While a pair were fishing a stream up north, a grizzly bear approached. One man started to run and the other said, Don't run, you can't outrun a bear! He replied' I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!

A fisherman would always come back from the lake with his boat full of fish. Everyone in town wondered how he could get so many fish each time. Finally the local game warden went uncover. He asked the fellow if he could go fishing someday, he said sure. Once at the ramp they launched the boat and headed to his favorite spot. The warden said I don't see any fishing poles. The old man said I don't use poles. They tied up to a stump and the man reached into his tackle box and said watch this. He pulled out a stick of dynamite light it threw it in the water. Boom fish begin coming up to the surface. Netted the fish and told the warden see how easy it is. He grabbed the 2nd stick lit it threw it in, Boom same thing again. The warden couldn't take anymore and pulled his ticket book out. The man just kept on fishing. As the warden was finishing up the ticket, the man reached in his tackle box and lit another stick. He handed it to the warden, warden asked what do you want me to do with it? The man said, you going to keep writing the ticket or are you going to fish!

Ellen and Bob

Ellen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Ellen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Ellen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!
Ellen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused. The therapist turned to Bob and said, �This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?�
Bob thought for a moment and replied, �Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.

mark

Guy is sitting on a dock with a five gallon bucket full of fish. Game Warder pulls up and ask for a fishing licence. Guys says " I'm not fishing sir, these are my pet fish" "Pet fish?" ask the game warden. "yes sir, I come down here with them every Saturday, let them loose wait about 5 minutes and whistle for them to get back and we head home." Game Warden says "I got to see this" So the man dumps all the fish in the lake and sits a waits. After about 5 mins the game warden says "about time to call those fish huh?" The fisherman then replies "what fish?"

Bruce you have some good ones, best of all here, barely topped the blonde joke LOL

Not a joke but funny.

My buddy and I were sitting at the bar, I pointed to two old drunks sitting across from us and told my friend
"That's us in 10 years."

My friend said, "That's a mirror, dipstick! !

I went out with some friends last night and tied one on.

Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have
never done before. I took a bus home.

I arrived home safe and warm, which was really
surprising as I have never driven a bus before.