I have read the last 5 pages over and over waitin on atmos to show up. Who has some good fishing jokes to help get me through the rest of the day?

Did you hear the one about the 28 teams that zeroed on Winnsboro last month?

So I was bank fishing one day and saw a snake that was trying to swallow a frog. The frog was stuck and it was obvious that they both were gonna die. So I pulled out my little whiskey flask and poured some down the snake's moth. He coughed and choked and was able to spit the frog out, and they both went their separate ways.
A little while later I felt a tugging at my pants leg. It was that snake with another frog.

I just spit my tea out when I read that! Haha

Oh my gosh haha.

Bruce wins so far because I was part of that 28 boats and I didn't think it was funny at all.

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses.
We don't have any, replied the first blonde.

Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses. said the Game Warden.

But officer, replied the second blonde, we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river.

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. Well, I know of no law against it, said the Game Warden, take all the debris you want. And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. What a dumb Fish Cop, the second blonde said to the other two, doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & make-up are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him home for?"
"Because he's thinking of getting married."

Dear TFF,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. The usual signs are phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My girlfriend has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them.." I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide next to the garage behind my boat so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind the boat, that I noticed some hairline cracks in my gelcoat, right were the hull meets the transom of my boat.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take the boat to the shop for repairs?

Sincerely,

Frenzy

I thank you guys. 4:44 and still no atmos man. This sure has helped me so far.

my weigh in bag on most tournament days....

Only one.I got I think would have to be censored in important parts and wouldn't make sense..

Live simply, expect little, give much, trust God.



One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, " Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "May I see your license?"

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"For reading a book," she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.