“...we stood next to the water in a white washed landscape resembling the surface of the moon and gazed upon an impressive white sand beach. We anxiously ditched are sandals and proceeded to walk out onto the sand. Our looks of joy soon turned to confusion as we wondered why the sand felt so sharp on our feet. Was it really sand we were walking on or some kind of coral? Upon closer inspection, we discovered it was neither, but instead tiny broken fish bones. The entire shoreline of this lake was composed of millions upon millions of fish bones!”
It all started simple enough. Back sometime in the summer of 2000 my father-in-law Andy asked me if I wanted to go fishing. He said he knew a place where we could catch Tilapia two at a time. What’s a Tilapia was my first question. He then went on to explain what a great eating fish it was and how easy they were to catch. My next question was, where. The Salton Sea, he said. He then explained how it was an inland saltwater sea where the salinity levels were so outrageously high that only two species of fish could survive in it, the Tilapia and the Corvina. The Tilapia, he said, we could catch by the bucket load. Ok, know this about Andy, once he gets an idea set in his head it tends to take on a life of its’ own. Facts and exact details get blurred and events can take on an almost mythical quality. Various times during this conversation I heard terms like two at a time, by the bucket load, etc, etc. What else could I say but, “Sounds like fun.”
It was on like Donkey Kong as the saying goes. We were joined on this fishing excursion by Andy’s brother John, and John’s son Scott. Andy had sold them on this trip as well. Did I mention that Andy is a very good salesman? We all met up at Andy’s apartment in Santee, California and from there we headed east. Anybody familiar with Southern California knows that the climate changes rapidly as you drive from West to East. Temperatures on the coast are generally a very breezy and comfortable 65 to 75 degrees. As you drive inland it gets warmer and increasingly desert like. Eventually you hit mountains and canyons, and on the other side comes a vast flat desert region known as the Imperial Valley. About an hour into this desert wasteland I think we all began to have second thoughts about this fishing trip. How could there be a lake in the middle of such a place?
Eventually we began to see signs of civilization. Small run down trailers and businesses here and there, most of them closed with boarded up windows. We saw several signs advertising real estate that looked like they’d been there a really long time. I expected a tumble weed to blow across the road at any moment. We followed the signs to the Salton Sea. Finally, amidst the blowing dirt and sand we glimpsed water. Anxiously we clamored out of our cars to stretch our legs. What greeted us was a vicious blinding heat. It was the kind of feeling you get when you stand too close to a wood burning furnace. I could literally feel the moisture being sucked out my body. Just maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all.
The troopers that we were, we grabbed the gear and trudged slowly to what looked like a good place to fish. It wasn’t like we were going to have to fish elbow to elbow or anything. There were maybe two or three other people fishing. Funny since this was supposedly such a fishing hot spot. We approached the salty water and the dream was slowly becoming a reality. Nothing imagined could have prepared me for this. We stood next to the water in a white washed landscape resembling the surface of the moon and gazed upon an impressive white sand beach. We anxiously ditched are sandals and proceeded to walk out onto the sand. Our looks of joy soon turned to confusion as we wondered why this sand felt so sharp on our feet. Was it really sand we were walking on or some kind of coral? Upon closer inspection, we discovered it was neither, but instead tiny broken fish bones. The entire shoreline of this lake was composed of millions upon millions of fish bones! And it smelled like it too. Our nostrils were assaulted by years and years of dead rotting fish all amplified by 115 degree heat. Not letting this discovery dampen our spirits we decided to bait up and get our lines in the water. After all, we had bucket loads of Tilapia to catch. Scott was about 18 or 19 at the time and about every other word out of his mouth started with “f” and ended with “k”. The rest of us nervously looked around making sure we weren’t offending some unsuspecting family while Scott cursed like a drunken sailor. Out of us four, Andy and I probably had the most fishing experience, Andy with saltwater, and me with freshwater. Naturally, neither one of us caught a single fish. John and Scott caught one Tilapia each.
After about an hour of fishing we decided that it might be wise to ditch the fishing and find some air conditioning. On the way back to our cars Andy engaged one of the locals in conversation. Andy asked the guy if he fished out here much and if the Tilapia were good to eat. The guy told us that the Tilapia tasted good but it was advised to eat them only once a month. Fortunately for us we didn’t have to cross that bridge. On the way out of the parking lot John decided that it would be a great time to go off-roading. After about two hundred yards Andy, Scott, and I found ourselves behind his car trying to push it out of the sand. We eventually got him unstuck and headed home in our air conditioned cars back to civilization.
I’ve had many fruitless fishing trips in my life, but this one takes the cake, partly because it was so hyped up and partly because it was so ridiculously bad, to the point of being funny. If any of you have similar stories I’d like to hear them.
Hope you enjoyed the story.
If you’d like to read more about the Salton Sea here are a few links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salton_Seahttp://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=639http://www.saltonsea.ca.gov/fishing.html
![[Linked Image]](http://s716.photobucket.com/user/BrianNesbit/media/fishing%20pics%202%20003_zpsjlygjfqx.jpg.html)