Just wondering if any of you have faced this problem?

If so, how did you get the affected person to seek help.

My brother in law is not able to sleep, has anxiety, has even mentioned suicide. He has good days and bad days. He is driving my sister to exhaustion and beyond. He needs professional help…but adamantly rejects any suggestion to seek help.

If anyone has been thru this…how did you handle it?

I do not have any advice to give sir. Wish I could do more to help.

The line about adamantly rejecting any suggestion to seek help is troubling. It’s my understanding that you can’t make a person get help unless they choose to. Does your BIL have anyone else that he trusts besides your sister that could talk with him? I have not been around someone that mentions suicide.

A psychologist can help with therapy, but a psychiatrist is required if he needs medication to be prescribed. Lack of sleep can really mess a person up if it continues. Wish I could be of more help.

Going through this now with a family member. Seek help from your local MHMR. They are the first place to start any proceedings vs calling 911 if he is violent. If you’re in Texas, go to TexasBar.com and look up Involuntary Commitment.

I did kinda, EMDR therapy helped. It sucks when something feels broken upstairs. Medicine did nothing for me other than make me feel like a zombie.

Mine wasn't that bad, but the not being able to sleep and anxiety is tough for sure.

This [censored] is outta control. My ol man had a cure for mental health, it was a boot in your [censored]. I think if you tell someone there is an excuse , they will use it. Bosses daughter needed a “mental health” retreat so she flew out to Cabo for a week, she told us this with a straight face. GTFO of here.

My wife is a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with her own private practice. She deals with this stuff every day.

I went through a rough spot last year. Nothing major, but anxiety was eating me up. Never contemplated suicide, but feeling broken/not good enough had me pretty low. I knew I needed to get some help. I did therapy for a while, and it helped tremendously. I never entertained the idea of meds.

I believe if someone isn't ready to admit they need some help, it's not going to happen. They need a reality check or a newfound sense of self-awareness. I am praying for your brother-in-law, your sister, and all others affected. Mental health is nasty because it can be so easily hidden until it wrecks a person and their loved ones.

That’s a ridiculous statement- you have no idea what this man is going thru.

You beat me to it!

And me.

I think DI was saying GTFO about lady in the story he told, and not about the guy in the story posted by pilothawk.

I somewhat agree with you. I think it's wrong to use it as an excuse to try and justify bad behavior or habits. It has become the new money-making machine like traditional healthcare is. But I believe some people do need a little help sometimes and don't have good examples of how to deal with it or anyone in their lives they can talk to about it.

My dad raised me in a similar way. There was no time or room for "feelings" or any of that BS. You took it on the chin like a man and moved on. That made me a hard worker and made me not quit when things get hard.
Some of his actions also helped create a feeling in me that I wasn't good enough to speak up or have any input around people of "importance" or people who challenged me. I unknowingly carried that with me for a long time and only realized it last year when I couldn't figure out why, no matter how much I achieved, it never felt "good enough" and why I constantly needed affirmation from people I had put up on a pedestal. It affected me, my marriage, and my career, so I asked for help. There is no excuse for all the lashing out and being bitter all the time. I wanted to fix it but didn't know how.

This feels like we are on a treadmill. Underlying much of this is family drama. His daughter in law denys family the chance to see his granddaughters. Unlike most of us, BIL cannot let it go. He lets it eat at him and eat at him. This has been ongoing for years. Back at opposite end of house you can hear him cursing his son and daughter in law. So much so that ulcers cause him pain…three trips to the ER. Depressed…he is too tired to go out to do anything. Every pain is the worst he has ever felt. He is anxious convinced he is gonna die. Heck, we all are.

We cannot make things better, but things cannot stay the way they are.

Thanks to all for your thoughts….

The first step is the “medical/physical” side. The human body can do without many things, sleep is not one of them. If proper sleep is not being had, it will spiral downward very quickly.

So if there is some physical reason sleep is not being obtained that is step one. As mentioned, simply treating with medication for sleeping may or may not help the root cause. Many time sleep is negatively affected by diet, activity, eating schedule, and many other factors. But sleep is step one. Most people do not realize just how quickly loss of sleep will affect the mind. It can get “scary” quick with lack of sleep. Then other systems start failing. First of which is rational thought.

Often times alcohol is in the mix which is a time bomb waiting. Unfortunately many men feel this stage can simply be pushed through. This results in a day of exhausted sleep followed by days of what you stated above. It is a vicious cycle. So doctor is first to determine where the “problem” lies.

A doctor is also much better to advise and direct patient to other services and assistance. Family is good in support and comfort roles, but professional guidance is most productive. As for the sister she has to understand that issues with the mind are same as any other “sick” appendage. Most people, well many, either assume mind issues can also just be fixed with “right” thinking. Determination or will. They cannot. The mind is also very subject to “illness and issues.”

The problem did not start overnight and will not be “cured” overnight. Many affected who are in his circle are probably very uncomfortable dealing with “mental” issues so often times isolation compounds the issue.

Lastly, the idea that men should be able to handle and fix this situation further compounds the spiral. Add a person who refuses to accept or seek help and, well, you understand.

I pray you and your family are able to successfully navigate this painful scenario. We completely fail to give mental health issues the concern and understanding needed. No one chooses to have a sick/broken/damaged mind, any more than one chooses cancer. We flood cancer victims with understanding and compassion, mental health victims, not so much.

May God bless and keep you all on this painful road.