Your boss (whom you don't care for) invites you and your spouse out for his birthday. It was in front of the rest of the "TEAM" that had already been invited and confirmed they would be there. All these folks are around my sons age. So I'm twice their age. Most weren't even born when I started working here. I've kept a personal policy of not playing reindeer games with people I work with. It's led to some bad experiences in the past. I did not commit, left it with "I'll have to see if I have plans with the wife" Do I bow out and say I have plans? Do I go, and risk being an @$$ ? Or do I straight up tell him no, I don't mix work outside of work? Avoid the topic and don't commit?
Wife said she'd support whatever I decide.

Go eat or whatever, smile, say happy birthday and then leave. Because if you don't.....

Go enjoy yourself, score some browny points.

From an employment perspective it would probably be wise to attend.

My thoughts exactly.

Most likely!

Don't be a sissy. If you don't want to go, don't.

If you don't go, they'll all talk about you. You may not care of course, but that's what they'll do.

If your boss is Jerrah Jones; I’d show up for five minutes just to be polite to say happy birthday/say hello to your other coworkers and then leave.

As an employer, you try to do nice things for your employees, outside the normal better pay better benefits stuff. I don't wanna use the term "slap in the face", but it's a little annoying and sometimes insulting when you try to do something nice and then people don't show up, for whatever reasons. I certainly wouldn't hold it against anyone for not showing up but sometimes it seems petty on their part.

It's a fun evening, show up and be apart of the team. Eat the dinner, have a drink, smile, and then take off.

I used to party with the bosses when I was in my 20’s. You have to go, you have to be the last one there too. That’s when the boss is the most wasted and the promotions get done.

…..and the [censored] talking about all the other employees that already left.

Why would you risk being an @*$&hole?

If you do not want to go, then do not go. If you do go, be nice. All this "I worked here before they were born" stuff is irrelevant. Some sort of sour grapes.

If you do not care for your boss to the extent that you cannot have dinner with him and the other team members without being an &$%^hole you might want to find a new job.

Next question.

Being it was a personal invite, I would show up. Tell the boss happy birthday, make sure a few key players are spoken to and then quietly slip out and go home. If the food looks good, eat before you go but be gone before the alcohol really gets to flowing.

Call you and your wife’s favorite restaurant and make some reservations and end the night on a positive with you and your wife eating a nice meal together.

I worked for the same two owners for many, many years. Lord knows we didn’t agree all of the time and like each other all of the time and they certainly heard me gripe enough. However, when they did attempt to do something nice for us, I always showed up to show them respect and appreciation for doing something for us.