Perhaps you believed that possibly gaining market share from younger generations would outweigh the loss of the older ones or maybe your social consciousness declared it was the right thing to do, either way, your support, endorsement, and contractual endowment of a transgender spokesman leaves me no choice but to end my association with Budweiser. I have been a Bud man since the early days of the actual Bud man advertising campaign. As of now, I will no longer purchase or drink any Bud product nor will I allow it in my house, my boat, or my vacation home. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind. Goodbye.

OK, only took a minute. Sent:

Concerning your latest commercial effort using the transgender freak I will cease using and even allowing anheuser-busch products on any of my properties. I do not agree with your acceptance of such behavior.

Yours truly and suck-it!

Bob

ST. LOUIS, MO — Beer scientists at Budweiser headquarters are reportedly hard at work researching how many cans of Bud Light it would take for Dylan Mulvaney to pass as a woman.

According to sources, Mulvaney, who recently became a spokesman for the alcoholic beverage, was personally recruited by CEO Phillip Bud while he was inebriated — now human resources need to know how this could have happened.

One. No. Two. No, Dr. Pedro Morganstein noted in the test log. Three? Ugh, no.

Dr. Morganstein reportedly passed out twenty beers later, still believing Dylan Mulvaney was a man. However, he did note that his female colleagues were at least three points more attractive.

Alcoholic intake studies are nothing new for the Budweiser corporation, but experiments typically measure the rate of cognitive decline. Determining how many drinks it takes for a man to look like a woman is new territory for the team.