My wife and I question (behind the scenes) the parenting of one of our sets of kids. Son and daughter in law just aren’t on the same page with their soon to be 4 and 8 yr old. Kids seem to have no respect and are emotionally fragile. And maybe I just don’t remember what it was like when I as parenting. But my wife and I don’t play those games so it is always a fight when we watch them.

I was thinking about getting the four year old into dirt bike or carts. Give him something to wear his [censored] out in the weekends. It will be an investment on my part but I feel strongly these kids need an outlet they aren’t currently getting.

I remember I was on a sketchy path when I was a preteen. But my dad got me a Honda XR75, then an RM80 then an RM125 and took me out on the weekends. It was the start of some fun times and launched an athletic run well into college that kept me out of trouble.

I’m wondering if I can duplicate that with this youngun?

Anyone else parenting their grandkids - I’m sure we aren’t the first.

Nope, i raised my kids to be good parents. If they don't raise their kids the way they were . I tell them to keep them at home till they get it right. You are doing them and the grandkids NO favors, they have to do it.

I think getting them into something that will plant a seed. The time I spent with my grandparents are what I remember most and the most influential. I would start off small to see how they react before I pick something that was expensive. With my grandparents it was bank fishing and shooting bb guns... then as we aged it was fishing in the boat, then camping and fishing, then hunting, etc. It was a gradual progression that our activities became more complex and spending more time doing it.

Not that I have any real-world experience, but I would just say make sure it's something he's really interested in before making the investment.

I see this happening with a relative - the kid is interested in one thing but the parents are pushing him to participate in something else that he doesn't really care about because they made the investment in that activity. It's just causing the kid stress and anxiety.

Not that a 4-year-old would know what they're interested in anyway, but maybe try 2 or 3 different hobby activities and see which one he asks to do again before settling on one.

A Yamaha PW50 has started many a kid on the path of fun and a lifetime of outdoor appreciation. There are always used ones available and you will find out quickly if the kid is capable. A fishing combo or a Ruger 10/22 can do the same thing. Good luck.

First --- let me say congrats for being a concerned grandparent . Both my kids stayed constantly busy , baseball , hockey and fishing for my son . Gymnastics , cheerleading , soccer and laCross for my daughter .
Letting kids have too much free time is a disaster waiting to happen . My oldest grandson is kept busy ---- karate , swimming and baseball ---he's 5 . Building confidence while having fun is key . A confident kid will try more things outside his comfort zone .
Here are my two biggest mistakes as a parent --
1) not writing down rules and consequences agreed on by wife and I and reviewed with kids
2) not providing them " positive " discipline when a mistake was made ----- kids need to learn , not be afraid from mistakes

Slippery slope, if your kids were raised right they should posses the tools to raise kids. They laid down and produced them.

I just do not think it does any favors to anyone to bail them out as adults. This is a huge issue in society today, people bailing out adult children constantly.

Maybe sit down with the parents and have a talk with them about what you think is appropriate and what isn't. It's ultimately up to them to decide how they want to raise their children.

My wife and I set out on our own and settled down about 1500 miles from my parents and hers. This was a good thing and a bad thing. Mostly good. It let us make our own mistakes and raise our kids the way we saw fit without intrusion from the grandparents. More good was that the kids really enjoyed the grandparents during visits. The bad perhaps that it deprived our parents from spending more time with them. There is a fine line grandparents should respect with regard to your children's raising of their children. Unless there is obvious physical abuse, I would be careful trying to "one-up" your childrens parenting. We live close to our grandkids, but we try not to cross that line I mentioned above. This is my opinion only, take it for what it is worth. I am sure you will make the best decisions.

We took our Grandson out of an abusive homelife where drugs and violence existed. We went through the legal process and both parents agreed that it's the best for the kid. We didn't plan on this but our Grandson had always leaned on us as the most stable thing in his life. He is now 22 working for a fortune 500 company with a degree in electronic instrumentation. He was struggling passing school when we got him and finished college with a 93 average. He is my boy and I'm very proud of him, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. My daughter finally saw the light and got out of her situation and has been clean and sober for 2 yrs. Me and my wife have no regrets on our decision to take him and felt that it was what God wanted us to do.

Thats a great story, very glad to hear this great outcome-
Big kudo’s to your whole family that made it possible for the young man to have a different path in his life-

I hope for a similar outcome for the OP-

I was raised hearing that grandkids give you the chance to figure out and fix what you messed up with your kids.

Again I don’t have kids so take anything I say with a big grain of salt, but. Often when you have a small dog that is running wild and anxious, it doesn’t have good enough boundaries from the owners.
Anything you can do to find something they can get interested in and give them boundaries and goals ESPECIALLY away from screens would be marvelous. Anything you can do to get them outside and taking an interest in the natural world… again. There’s many studies linking higher screen times to anxiety and depression in children and young adults. Also there’s studies linking lack of knowledge of the natural world leads to generalized anxiety disorders … excellent book on this is “Last Child in the Woods”

It's only going to get better in the next 20 years.

Kattelyn wrote:
"Often when you have a small dog that is running wild and anxious, it doesn’t have good enough boundaries from the owners.
Anything you can do to find something they can get interested in and give them boundaries and goals ESPECIALLY away from screens would be marvelous.
Anything you can do to get them outside and taking an interest in the natural world… again.
There’s many studies linking higher screen times to anxiety and depression in children and young adults. Also there’s studies linking lack of knowledge of the natural world leads to generalized anxiety disorders … excellent book on this is “Last Child in the Woods”
I can't comment on the book Kattelyn mentioned, but she and her advice have always been Spot-On point (IMO). My wife and I got custody of two of our (my wife's) grandchildren in their early years and I want to think that we made a difference.
At least that's what I want to think from a thousand miles away.

awesome story --- and congrats to you for saving your grandsons life . One could only imagine what his life would be like if y'all hadn't stepped up for him . Your example should be followed by lots of Americans .

So if a child you raised is not a good parent, where does that responsibility lie?