Meanwhile at the house of Mud....

Get a black marker and draw some stitches.

Hippie

If somebody sees it and goofs on you, I think a fun thing to do is reverse it all on them.

After they’re finished goofing on you, look kind of solemn, but give your best “I can take a joke and go along with this” chuckle...then say, “Yeah, actually I did it to demonstrate my support for my best friend that has cancer...he’s developed a spot like that from his chemo so far, and I just want him to know I‘ll support him through this whole deal, no matter what.”

Then look down with sadness on your face and let the silence sprout their regret for goofing on you.

Mine is goof proof. No guard. Almost looks like a shaved head after she is finished. But I'm no longer blessed with that much hair anyway.

You should just go ahead and shave the whole thing. Then post pics.

my wife announces "hair cut is over, I am out of hair"

Mine would’ve hit an artery

Looks good to me... Dan

You could just wear that tinfoil hat!

Does your wife have wig you can borrow?
Or if you cat has some fur on it that's the same color as your hair, shave the cat and tape the fur to
your head.

And with all that hair gone it wont fit as tight

that's what she said....

Still trying to figure out how she scalped you with a #4 guard on the cutter. I think she removed it to get back at you, think really hard about what you might have said or done that made her mad. It may not be safe to sleep in the same bed with her for awhile.