Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

I always wanted to be a multimillionaire, just like my dad.

He always wanted to be a multimillionaire too.

Two Texans are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister."

"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all.

A blonde asked her mom why she only had three sisters and her brother had 4 sisters

Love all of the above...

Good stuff!

I asked my partner if I was the only one, she’s been with.

She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”

I just saw that Chuck Yeager has died

...and then I heard it a few seconds later

A man walked in the door and called out to his wife “I just won the lottery. Pack up all your things.” The wife asked “where are we going?” The husband said “WE aren’t going anywhere”.