Fainting when your daughter asks for $30,000,00+ for a wedding.


Driving a Dodge Fiat pickup truck.

Yeah well a 30 million plus dollar wedding would be epic though

Loss of a child.

Short term, a kidney stone so big they have to go up the johnson to get it. Right up there with having one stuck in your johnson and using the old water hose method to blow it out. Then standing over the toilet w blood dripping out of your johnson because it cut your insides including a nice little slice in the p hole. Then having to pee and it feels like your peeing acid for a few days.
Blowing out 2 disks in your lower back.

Old people skin. I just brush up against something and it tears the skin.

1. Debt. I've never paid a penny of interest in my life, a policy that turned out superbly. Paying for things just once is bad enough.
2. Mismatched mate. My old lady loves to fish, hates to shop, and actually studies how to please a man at the highest levels possible, continually improving her, uh, moves. The one before her just about destroyed my life - the first 2 weeks were a blast, then not so great.
3. Marriage. Kudos to those of you who did well with that silly, archaic institution but for many I've known, it's gone terribly. It's one thing to break up and yet another to have to get a divorce.
4. Ineffectiveness. I'm extremely effective. When I walk into an office to tend to a matter, I always carry the attitude that I could steal the guy's wife if I really tried. The men I know who feel ineffective suffer badly.
5. Incuriousity. Far too many men I know don't reach out to learn more. They don't look things up. They are largely educated by Facebook and memes via a pathetic little phone screen. They watch either Fox News or MSNBC exclusively and don't feel the need to expand their scope.
6. Vision. It's awful being used to seeing fine all your life, then it changes. Bummer.
7. Marginalization. I come from a family in which kooky women smother their unfortunate men, rendering them errand boys and caretakers with little clout. My household is strictly co-leadership, with whoever is best suited for a particular situation taking the helm and the other gliding into an elite first mate role.
8. Hurried. Not having enough time is a cursed existence. There are few things sweeter than having too much time on your hands.
9. Connected. I pity people who are terrorized by their phone all day, every day. Being out of touch is a glorious thing that is literally foreign to many now.
10. Carnal frustration. Ya gotta be kind of a pistol to even get the time of day from me, but even then I've found most women to fall short. Way short. Upon dumping the last albatross 19+ years ago and getting a gal who performs at apex levels, my quality of life went through the roof. "Anytime, anyplace, any way." We're now on a mission to get my bell rung in all 50 states and 13 Canadian provinces and territories. 45 down, 18 to go, and 9 more tasks/acts have been added to the original list for a total of 630 goals, 292 of which have been attained. It's the coolest thing ever done in human history. Yes, that's a bold statement, but I wholly stand by it.
11, Boredom. I'm a musician, writer, and reader, so I never get bored. The cure for boredom is curiosity. The cure for curiosity is death.

You only get one life (uh, sorry, Hindus). Make the very, very most of it.

Interestingly, the above heavily applies to the ladies, too. We're not nearly as different as many fancy.