Hey Clint, I saw you posted about a couple of things for Sunday's tournament, but I had a few questions I couldn't find answered in the rules, could you help out please.

Can we use A-rigs? Can we fish off the bank? Do the fish have to be alive? Can I put a live minnow on the back of a trap? Do we have to have a fishing license? Can we drink beer during tournament? Can we do meth during tournament? Can we cook meth during the tournament? Can my wife be with me even if she's not fishing? If no can somebody else's wife? Do you know of any place to stay down there? Are dogs allowed in the boat if they aren't entered in the event? What about cat's? Or wolverines? Bigfoot? Do you believe in Bigfoot? Can we use a net? If yes, can we use a gill net? Are the times Central Standard even though I'm coming from the east coast? You said we can start fishing at 6:45, does that mean make a cast, or the bait actually touching the water? Can we have more than 5 fish in the boat at any one time? Is it ok to eat during the tournament? What if it's like BBQ and really messy? Do you know what ramps are open? Do you know what ramps are closed? Can we use rat-l-traps even if we stole them from our partners boat? Can we repaint them ourselves? Can we replace the hooks? Can we replace the slit rings? If yes, all of them or just the ones on the front? Does our boat have to be current with TP&W? Do we have to wear a life jacket? Can we wade fish? What if i catch a fish with my hands but i have a rat-l-trap in my hand, is that legal? What if I'm reeling in a little fish on a rat-l-trap and a bigger one eats the little one, can i keep the bigger one? Have you ever had a kidney stone? Do they hurt? I heard they are so small that they don't hurt real men, only sissy men? If my wife's pregnant do we have to pay an entry fee for the baby? Are you announcing the results hourly on the radio? Do you pay big bass for every hour? Can we leave our boat in the water overnight? Can we fish the night before? Have you ever seen anyone killed with a Trident? Do you think candlesticks are an appropriate wedding gift? What about anniversary? Can we sacrifice a chicken on stage before the event for good luck? If a frog had wings, would he still bump his butt when he jumps? Can we get out of the boat to go poop? Do you carry TP in your boat? Can i borrow some? If cannibals eat clowns do they taste funny? Do we have to wear a kill switch? If you pull the kill switch who dies? It says 5 fish stringer, what if I only have 4? Can we come to your house Saturday night for dinner?

Ken

PS, if you have a question I didn't think of that is appropriate, like these, please add so we all know the rules.

The life of a tournament director......

Please answer all of these questions lol

But but but can I replace the trebles on one rattle trap with two more rattle traps so that I have three rattle traps but only two sets of hooks???

In line rat-l-traps....brilliant. And M Alexander thanks for getting the candlesticks reference. Let's see who gets the Trident one?

I wanna see Clint answer all those. Bahahaha.

That took a little time to write.

Thanks for the laugh!

"May I take your trident, sir?"

Dear Mr. Smith:

In today's world full of political correctness, accusations of racial injustice, questions of gender equality and the major concern for the health of hydrilla in Rayburn, I strive to answer your questions as accurately as possibly, therefore I wanted to consult with the proper authorities to assure that yourself and your constituents would receive the right answers to your dumb ever-so-relevant questions. I Please see below Addendum A for answers to your concerning questions.

As always, feel free to contact any representative of Outlaw Outdoors if you should have any further stupid concerning questions about a tournament we are producing.

Sincerly,
Clint Wade
The poor tournament director that gets questions like this constantly
Outlaw Outdoors, LLC



Can we use A-rigs? Did you mean to say "a rig"? Maybe your feeble fingers hit the dash key and inserted it in there. On Rayburn, "a rig" is a Carolina Rig and yes, you may put the Bill Lewis Lure of your choice on the end of your Carolina Rig. Can we fish off the bank? As long as we have your $120, you can fish off of a bridge with heavy traffic if you want. Actually, I'd prefer this to be your method of fishing now that I think about it. Do the fish have to be alive? #FishLivesMatter - never kill a fish. Can I put a live minnow on the back of a trap? I personally would like to see you do this. I assume you would train this said minnow to perform like a bull rider on the back of that trap? Do we have to have a fishing license? Yes, but at your age the price is drastically reduced so rock on. Can we drink beer during tournament? Sure you can...I would love to disqualify the guy that is requiring me to answer every. single. one. of. these. questions. Can we do meth during tournament? No. We moved the tournament back to Umphrey Pavilion in Jasper County. It's no longer hosted out of Zavalla. Can we cook meth during the tournament? Refer to previous answer. Can my wife be with me even if she's not fishing? You're wife if knocked up and has interest in you anymore. She has gotten what she wants. If no can somebody else's wife? Yes, but since it's now hosted on the south end of the lake, your chances of finding a woman to fish with you has decreased tremendously. Do you know of any place to stay down there? Your truck. If you get cold, my suggestion to you would be to run a hose from your warm tailpipe into a cracked window. Are dogs allowed in the boat if they aren't entered in the event? Apparently dogs are allowed anytime on Rayburn. You have about 6 in every video you post. What about cat's? We encourage cats over dogs. They tend to fit better in rod boxes. Of course, this would only be for their own protection during inclement weather. Or wolverines? There are no Michigan fans in Texas. Bigfoot? You know what big feet mean, right? Do you believe in Bigfoot? You should see my feet. Can we use a net? Based on the fact Dicky isn't fishing with you and me viewing several of your past videos, I see now reason for you to be concerned with the answer of this question. If yes, can we use a gill net? Gill doesn't make nets. They specialize in rain gear. Quite high quality rain gear, I might add. Are the times Central Standard even though I'm coming from the east coast? You prostaffer profile shows your home as Ken Smith Fishing with world headquarters located in Zavalla, TX. This means you can take your gold alarm clock with the little bells on top of it with you in your boat. It will suffice for the day. You said we can start fishing at 6:45, does that mean make a cast, or the bait actually touching the water? Timing is everything. You should know this since you beat all odds and helped to conceive a child. Can we have more than 5 fish in the boat at any one time? Based on previous performances, this isn't a concern of yours. Is it ok to eat during the tournament? Yes, this will be probably the most rewarding part of your day. would probably be What if it's like BBQ and really messy? Spicy chicken BBQ chicken wings would be better. Do you know what ramps are open? Absolutely. They will open Caney Creek Ramp on Sunday. It's the prime ramp for Rayburn. Be sitting there waiting on them to open it. Do you know what ramps are closed? All but Caney Creek Ramp are closed. Refer to above question for best option. Can we use rat-l-traps even if we stole them from our partners boat? Sure. We advise you to scratch the serial numbers off before first cast though. Can we repaint them ourselves? Yes. I hear flat black Krylon has been working well on Rayburn lately. Can we replace the hooks? Take them off. They cast further without them. Can we replace the slit rings? The new Bill Lewis slit rings are plenty adequate for the fish you will catch. If yes, all of them or just the ones on the front? Front, back and middle. Be careful if you change out the middle one to a smaller one. The minnow that's on the trap's back right get hung in the middle hook. Does our boat have to be current with TP&W? Is that a law firm? Do we have to wear a life jacket? No. Sh** floats. Can we wade fish? Yes, but warning - shrinkage occurs in this weather. What if i catch a fish with my hands but i have a rat-l-trap in my hand, is that legal? The hooks must still in place on the Trap that is in your hand. What if I'm reeling in a little fish on a rat-l-trap and a bigger one eats the little one, can i keep the bigger one? Keep them both. I'm certain, you will need both of them to contribute to your limit. Have you ever had a kidney stone? Yes! They are the DEVIL! Do they hurt? Yes! They are the DEVIL! I heard they are so small that they don't hurt real men, only sissy men? They are the DEVIL! If my wife's pregnant do we have to pay an entry fee for the baby? Only if it's your child. I hear the jury is still out, so for this weekend, you will be required to pay 50% for the baby. Are you announcing the results hourly on the radio? We are not broadcasting on the radio, although, Ken Smith Fishing will be broadcasting live on YouTube with all updates. Do you pay big bass for every hour? We haven't decided this as of yet. We invite you to come to weigh in each hour to see if we have decided to do so. Can we leave our boat in the water overnight? Sure. You can also leave water in your boat overnight. Can we fish the night before? For an additional $38, we will let you start fishing at 9:30am Saturday. Cash of course. Have you ever seen anyone killed with a Trident? You should find yourself a safehouse closeby and lay low for a while. You're probably wanted for murder. and Do you think candlesticks are an appropriate wedding gift? Didn't we give you and Mrs. Smith peppermint swirled ones for yall's wedding present? Then duh, it's a perfect wedding gift. What about anniversary? Yes, try it. Give it to Sarah for yall's anniversary. Can we sacrifice a chicken on stage before the event for good luck? You're treading on thin ice now. I have already approached Pilgrims Pride for a sponsorship for next year.
Don't think it would be a good idea. #chickenlivesmatter If a frog had wings, would he still bump his butt when he jumps? Spro or Stanley? Can we get out of the boat to go poop? Did you just say poop? Really? Do you carry TP in your boat? Dude Wipes...only the best for the best. Can i borrow some? You gotta ask Stacy. She is in control of the Dude Wipes. Well, I guess technically, they are called Chic Wipes. She took a Sharpie and wrote through Dude. If cannibals eat clowns do they taste funny? I absolutely have no reply for this!!! Do we have to wear a kill switch? Yes, especially if you're fishing from the bank or wade fishing. If you pull the kill switch who dies? I've always heard if you pull it, you better be ready to use it. Is that relevant here? It says 5 fish stringer, what if I only have 4? You will be congratulated for exceeding your Outlaw Outdoors Tournament Average. Can we come to your house Saturday night for dinner? I don't know you. Wait, yes. I want you to come over....so I can kick you in your nuts for making me reply to all of these questions!!!!

Now go to your room.