You finally stick one and he says " I guess that one wanted to commit suicide"

"Let's eat"

This......

Yep, this. First words from the guide on my first guide trip. Then my dad caught a DD, so we stopped giving him a hard time.

"So where did y'all fish yesterday?" "Ok we will go try there first."

Literally had a guide take us to the exact same water we had fished the day prior by ourselves.

"Yall ready to go in for lunch?"

Had a guide at Cooper once trying his best to put us on fish and it just wasn't happening. He looked at us and said "I'm open to suggestions", my reply was "you have any water skies"

"The biggest fish in the state lives under this bridge. Nobody is going to tell me otherwise, lets go throw some Alabama rigs at it."

She probably does but you'll need to break the law (use crappie) for bait to catch her.

That baits a useful as a half sunk motorcycle.

"That dog'll hunt"

Common phrase heard in Duck Call from Feb-Apr in the 90s by a certain guide fishing water dogs.

and did you catch?!!

"I can put you on em, but I can't set the hook for you!"

From the catfish killer on lake Conroe:
"sometimes you catch 1 or 2, sometimes you catch 3 or 4, sometimes you catch 5 or 6, sometimes you catch 7 or 8.... Sometimes you catch 20 or 30"

I swear he repeated himself at least a dozen times. Needless to say we only caught a few. But every time we did get one or we'd get a bite he'd say very emphatically "that's what we came here for"

"That's a 10 pounder!"

A 9.5-9.99 has never been caught in a guides boat, but there have been hundreds of 10.0-10.25.