Have you had any women come in to tell you their car was low on 710 ?

I recall the store hired a new sales guy and the manager asked me to show him around. We were multi line and had Subarus. One of their features back then was that their was no frame around the top of the door glass. We would hold the door with our left hand and place our right hand flat against the door jam. We would slam the door shut and of course the glass would slide back and not crush our fingers.

About 3 days later I’m at my desk with a guest and I heard the loudest F-BOMB you’ve ever heard. He was trying to do the same presentation with a guest but put his hand below the window line and in line with the door. When he slammed the door shut he slammed it on his fingers and screamed most primal F-Bomb I’ve ever heard!

I literally busted out laughing reading that. The wife looked at me like “WTF?”

The service department at a BHPH is the opposite. You gotta keep that bill as tiny as possible because your customer is gonna finance the repairs and not pay you back for them 75% of the time.

After getting laid off, I decided to try my hand in another line of work, car sales. I went to work for a local Toyota dealer. I had to attend a 10-day training course before I could start. The course was about $250, but I got that money back after completing a probation period, which I did. At first you have to shadow another salesperson for 2 weeks. All salespeople worked in a team with a team leader. Toyota insists that you follow their sales technique. This would be meet and get the customer inside with a BS preformatted sales spiel. People generally looked at you like you were insane and insisted on looking at cars first. The whole time you are with a customer, you are being watched by the Nazis in the sales tower. Yes, I mean watched with binoculars if necessary. When customers come into a car dealership, they automatically think that the salesperson is going to rip them off. This is not true. The salespeople only want to make a sale. The people in the sales tower are the ones screwing over the customer. Customers think of discounts in the thousands. The sales tower guys deal in hundreds of dollars or less. As a car salesman, these penny pinching offers just P.O. the customer and the salesman catches the grief. There is a big misconception as to how much money a car salesman makes on the sale of a car. If you are lucky enough to close a sale, you may have worked 4 or 5 hours and only make a hundred dollars. If you have to split a deal with another salesman because your customer shows up out of the blue, you make even less.

Here is one of my numerous WTF car sales stories: A college bound young man came in to look at Toyota Camrys. This guy came back 3 or 4 times. He had to look at every car in that wheelbase before he could make a decision. About a month later, him and his mother came in to buy a car. After 2 or 3 hours of BS negotiations, we finally settled on a deal. I thanked them, got the car ready for delivery and they went to finance. A week later, I found out that I had made $140 for all of my efforts. Three months later, I saw the mom come back into the showroom. I met her at the reception desk and found out that she was super mad. She was mad that Toyota was now offering 0% financing on Camrys. At the time that she bought her son's car, Gulf States Toyota only offered 2.9%. She actually wanted to know why she hadn't been told that Toyota would be offering 0% financing (in the future) when she first came in. The finance dude I had called to assist, and I told her that NO ONE knows what Gulf States Toyota is going to do month to month. She wouldn't accept our lack of clairvoyance for a reason and stormed out of the store.

Man Rayzor that stinks, no wonder they have huge turnover at those places. 140 for selling a car isn’t really commission it’s a joke.

I thought of another good one….

We had repo’d this dude’s car on a Saturday night. He came in Monday morning with his baby mama to redeem the car. He was being sheepish and she was pissing hot mad. Come to find out, we repo’d the car while he was at his side chick’s house getting some action. That led to his baby mama finding out that he was sneaking around on her. To say she was pissed would be an understatement.


We had another dude who had three cars with us: 1 for him, 1 for his wife and 1 for his side piece. He would come in and pay for his car note and his wife’s car note using a card. He would pay for his side chick’s car note using cash, so his wife wouldn’t find out.


This strange dude came and bought a Kia Sedona from us that was in good shape. It had 80,000 miles on it when he bought it. Fast forward 9 months, and he brought it in complaining that the engine was making noise. I look at the odometer, and it had 162,000 miles on it. Pulled the dipstick and the oil was black as night. The dude had put 82,000 miles on the car in 9 months and had never changed the oil. He was livid and said it was our fault that we sold him a lemon. He had also bought a Tundra from us and yanked out the GPS and moved across the country. We never found the Tundra and ended up writing off a $20,000 loan.

Thats crazy. I was a pipeline Tech and 75,000 miles a year was considered a road warrior.

A couple more good ones…

I gave out a loaner car to a lady. After her car was fixed, she came and picked it up, but my service advisor never asked for the loaner car back. So the lady left the loft with her fixed vehicle and her boyfriend drove off in the loaner without giving it back. 2-3 days later, I was doing my monthly inventory audit and couldn’t find this impala anywhere. I start researching in my system and find that it was a loaner car. I ask the service advisor and find out the person who borrowed the car had already picked up the car they owned. I ping the GPS and track the loaner car down at a movie theater about 2 miles down the road from the lot. I send a repo guy out to tow the loaner that I own. 1 hour passes after I repo the car, and the lady who stole the loaner comes into the dealership and chews us out for “stealing” her loaner car. The level of idiocy you gotta have to pull a stunt like that is astounding.

We sold a Ford Escape to that guy’s friend. He drove it to Niagara Falls right after he bought it. The battery died once he got there. He called up my office and said “The battery died, I don’t want it anymore and I left the keys in it. Come pick it up.”

You seem like a sharp kid who comes from a well to do baby bear killing family. Why did you choose to deal with the hood rat turds of society ?

Benevolence. He wants to serve a segment of society that is oft’ ignored.

Also, the margins (when realized) are astronomical.

Pillar of the community...

ROI is better dealing with stupid people. You pick an endeavor that relies on dumb people money and you with find rich people all in it. It's hard to make money off of smart people.

$2500 for tint? That's criminal.