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Dec 30th, 2023
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 Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891669
11/08/23 02:20 PM
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,587
Dan21XRS
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,587 |
I'm still friendly with my ex-SIL... I text her on the holidays... I've told my brother numerous times how he screwed up but he doesn't listen or care... I've got a friend who still goes hunting and fishing with his ex-SIL... And takes his new SIL along sometimes... His daughter doesn't seem to care... Everybody seems to handle it differently... Dan
"The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood"...
Lou Holtz
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891676
11/08/23 02:24 PM
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 6,173
Rescue Fire
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 6,173 |
If you are a grown [censored] man then act like a grown [censored] man. Be friends with who you want. Take you huevos out of your wife's purse. That is a strongly worded reply from someone who usually takes a more measured tone in his posts. He’s getting very crotchety in his old age.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891679
11/08/23 02:24 PM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 16,030
ko bass attack 27
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 16,030 |
If he is a friend keep him as a friend, he is just no longer family.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891680
11/08/23 02:24 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 73,396
Mark Perry
Super Freak
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Super Freak
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 73,396 |
If you are a grown [censored] man then act like a grown [censored] man. Be friends with who you want. Take you huevos out of your wife's purse. That is a strongly worded reply from someone who usually takes a more measured tone in his posts. It's tongue in cheek. Not meant to be serious. If you lime the guy then stay friends with him. They are the ones getting divorced. As long as there is no physical abuse or extenuating circumstances then family and friends shouldnot have to choose sides.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891683
11/08/23 02:26 PM
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,674
TPACK
Extreme Angler
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Extreme Angler
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,674 |
My sister and BIL divorced last year after 35 years of marriage. She was very bitter (and still is), and I suggested to try and make the divorce simple and quick as possible by splitting everything 50/50 because that what going to happen anyway......... and I was right. He made the bulk of the income since they`ve been married and she didn`t like that he was going to be financially better off than her and was going to lose control of his $$. She tried making him come across as the bad guy (which he wasn`t), but there are 2 sides to every story, and I knew them both. I didn`t take his or her side and tried to stay neutral which made my sister mad because I wouldn`t throw him under the bus. She didn`t say anything, but actions speak louder than words and that OK.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891687
11/08/23 02:26 PM
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 6,173
Rescue Fire
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 6,173 |
You can always pick and choose who you choose to be friends with, but whether anyone likes it or not, the womenfolk will expect a certain amount of loyalty here. They usually stick together pretty good on these type of things. Hopefully everybody stays grown up and they just keep it between concerned parties.
I would say that if you do choose to hang out with the guy, I wouldn’t flaunt it, or brag about it, or talk about it much for a little while until you see if the girls have decided to set up those girlie, loyalty, boundaries.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TPACK]
#14891710
11/08/23 02:40 PM
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Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 12,487
UGLYSHCTICK
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 12,487 |
My sister and BIL divorced last year after 35 years of marriage. She was very bitter (and still is), and I suggested to try and make the divorce simple and quick as possible by splitting everything 50/50 because that what going to happen anyway......... and I was right. He made the bulk of the income since they`ve been married and she didn`t like that he was going to be financially better off than her and was going to lose control of his $$. She tried making him come across as the bad guy (which he wasn`t), but there are 2 sides to every story, and I knew them both. I didn`t take his or her side and tried to stay neutral which made my sister mad because I wouldn`t throw him under the bus. She didn`t say anything, but actions speak louder than words and that OK. My wife's sister and her husband have a off again , on again relationship. They've been married 30+ years. Separated several times. Her and the kids actually stayed with us for 6 months. Me and my wife played neutral, cause we knew the history. Even with that we ended up being the bad guys. We have not spoken with either in a few years. Which is sad because my wife used to be real close with her sister. Every situation is different.... but I steer clear and stay neutral.
Just want to make folks smile, and spit coffee on their keyboard.
If you put beans in your chili, you don't know beans about chili.
God doesn't create temporary people, you will spend eternity somewhere. Choose wisely.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891739
11/08/23 02:53 PM
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Joined: Aug 2021
Posts: 5,205
Flip Flop Fisher
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2021
Posts: 5,205 |
play it by ear, see what happens
does he contact you?
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: Mark Perry]
#14891754
11/08/23 02:57 PM
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Joined: Apr 2021
Posts: 376
TAFKABCF
OP
Angler
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OP
Angler
Joined: Apr 2021
Posts: 376 |
If you are a grown [censored] man then act like a grown [censored] man. Be friends with who you want. Take you huevos out of your wife's purse. That is a strongly worded reply from someone who usually takes a more measured tone in his posts. It's tongue in cheek. Not meant to be serious. If you lime the guy then stay friends with him. They are the ones getting divorced. As long as there is no physical abuse or extenuating circumstances then family and friends shouldnot have to choose sides. No offense taken. I have noticed that your messaging is usually along the "live and let live" variety. Here is an example of the type of guy my BIL is. Even though we have had no contact since their separation, he sent my daughter some very nice gifts for her recent baby shower.
Bitter clinger
Archie Bunker was right about everything
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891811
11/08/23 03:41 PM
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 18,901
COFF
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 18,901 |
A lot of it depends on why they got divorced. If he diddled around on your SIL, then it would be seen as a betrayal for you to hang out with him.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891812
11/08/23 03:42 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,144
SoonerDG
Extreme Angler
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Extreme Angler
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,144 |
My wife's sister and her husband are divorcing. They have been separated for about a year now. I have always liked the guy. Am I allowed to still be in contact with him or do I have to show loyalty to my SIL? You know it will upset your wife and SIL. That said, when my sister divorced her first husband, I didn't stop talking to him. I mean I was friends with the man for over 20 years. That doesn't stop because she can't stand him. My sister wasn't happy about it. I told her she can get glad in the same clothes she go mad in!
"Life is a matter of luck and the odds of success are in no way enhanced by extreme caution." - Erich Topp, German U-boat Commander, 1943.
When in doubt, set the hook.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891834
11/08/23 03:57 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 30,542
RedRanger
burro desagradable
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burro desagradable
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 30,542 |
My wife's sister and her husband are divorcing. They have been separated for about a year now. I have always liked the guy. Am I allowed to still be in contact with him or do I have to show loyalty to my SIL? Only a SIMP would show loyalty to a SIL
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: Uncle Zeek]
#14891836
11/08/23 04:00 PM
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 13,718
grandbassslayer
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 13,718 |
Ask him if he needs a place to stay and offer your guest room to him indefinitely. Lol
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: TAFKABCF]
#14891839
11/08/23 04:01 PM
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 13,718
grandbassslayer
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 13,718 |
My wife's sister and her husband are divorcing. They have been separated for about a year now. I have always liked the guy. Am I allowed to still be in contact with him or do I have to show loyalty to my SIL? Do you vet your friends with your SIL- I bet not so the answer is no.
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Re: Unwritten rules of divorce
[Re: Rescue Fire]
#14891878
11/08/23 04:31 PM
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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 7,972
avid_basser
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 7,972 |
If you are a grown [censored] man then act like a grown [censored] man. Be friends with who you want. Take you huevos out of your wife's purse. That is a strongly worded reply from someone who usually takes a more measured tone in his posts. He’s getting very crotchety in his old age.  Stay friends or don't, you'll soon see why they're divorcing. I've always been taught family first, but sometimes it's not always the case.
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