You've got a giant porch. I'd move the chairs down there somewhere else for a couple of weeks. Spray the poop off every couple days. It's a two minute job and a good dead. Critters have a hard enough time these days, I would hate to make it harder on them.

Worst case relocate the nest to some place obvious and close by. They will almost certainly be abandoned, but I guess you are putting it in the good lords hands.