We interned my mother’s ashes last Friday. My father had purchased the plots and did the pre-planning stuff for a stupid amount of money thinking he was doing us all a favor. These people have been horrible. What a bunch of incompetent crooks. The funeral game is absolutely a sham feeding off emotion and hiding behind regulation and corporate policy.

An example. Below is a photo of my parents headstone. It’s hard to tell from the photo, but the granite base is broken in half from top to bottom right about where the capital T. It wasn’t like that earlier in the week so they must have driven over it with the excavator when digging the hole. Even though we opted to cremate and the hole wasn’t your typical trench. Now, they are wanting to charge $550 to put the date of death under the born date for my mother. They say they have to throw away the top plate with her birthdate and re-do it to include the date of death. If they knew they would have to do that when Dad bought the stone, why wouldn’t they make provisions ahead of time to do that? They say they will have to do the same for my Dad when he goes. What a crock!

Just after they finished putting her urn in the hole and covered it up, they noticed the stone for my brother isn’t even in the right spot and has to be moved. How incompetent can you be?

The urn had to be placed in a case that looks like a cover for the air pump on my septic tank. They tried to upsell that container for one costing close to $1K.

They tried to upsell the container that her body was transported from the funeral home to the crematorium. Why try to upsell a box that nobody even sees and gets loaded into the incinerator during the process?

They made us pick from a portrait of her, a little glass orb containing some of her ashes that sits on the shelf, or a pendant with her fingerprint. If we didn’t pick one of those items, we would lose “discount” on the other services they provided. These are the types of trinkets the vet does when your dog dies.

At the funeral itself, they found out at the last minute they couldn’t do the catering and had to go to a local sandwich shop for food. The food showed up an hour after everyone went home.

There are so many other ways they just try and take advantage of people with.

When Dad goes, we will do a lot different.

Anyway, back to the date of death. You can find bronze plates for this very purpose for less than $50. I think I’m going to get one those and go out there one afternoon and drill and tap some holes in the main plate and secure it in place.

These people are crooks and are totally incompetent.

LonestarSon….where are you? Since you were in the business, I’d like to ask a few questions but your box is full. Hit me up, please

.

Sorry for your trials and tribulations, Mud.

G D buzzards!!!

We are at peace with Mom’s passing. I just hate to feel like we were robbed at the end.

They are horrible to deal with. Best thing my parents ever did was have theirs pre paid and planned.

That is my point, it was pre-paid and planned. They still got us for another $8K

I think I want cremation, zero service, dump my ashes somewhere I don't really care. I'll leave some cash for the family to go have dinner and drinks. I know people who have been in the business for long time and I don't want to participate in their games.

I've unfortunately had to deal with making arrangements several times. My experiences have been way different. I would say it's the one you dealt with more than the industry as a whole.
Sorry it was so bad.

Yeah, I don't know how they could have done that if it was fully prepaid and preplanned. I would definitely contact the Texas Funeral Service Commission and report this particular funeral home.

As to the damage to the headstone base, you're probably SOL, unfortunately. It's been about 24 years since I last did preplanned funerals, but once it's set, I think it's the family's responsibility...unless you can prove they damaged it. Texas does require perpetual care of the cemeteries if established after 1993...so you may have some recourse on some of the stuff. As to the prices they charge, heck yeah they play on emotions and it's so wrong. That's why I left. I liked the preneed because you could get everything set up and remove the emotional side of things (hopefully) and keep things reasonable. I'm sure that has changed. But, yes, several funeral directors I dealt with were some of the most unethical people I've ever met. Not all, obviously, but a lot were very calloused and just in it for the money.

My wife knows my wishes. They're similar to yours. Cremated me. Have a little party. There should be be various whiskeys left behind. She won't drink it anyway, but everyoneelse in the family does.. Let the pot heads smoke what stash I left behind. Just like the whiskey, she doesn't partake in either. Crank the music I would listen to. Have a good time.
Give my guns to my son and hers. Sell whatever is left for herself. I prefer my ashes be brought back to Texas. But I'll never know anyway.

Heck, I remember one funeral director in Missouri that charged $125/per family car (the 6 door limo) for a 4 minute ride from the chapel to the cemetery....and bragged about it and the 400% upcharge for embalming fluid!

Oh and one of my cousins built the urn my Uncle Doye's ashes are kept in. You don't have to buy their Dollar Tree urns.

And, Danny, as to your brother's headstone being misplaced, that happens more often than one would like to think. I don't know that it does now with GPS coordinates, but I am aware of several instances in various cemeteries in different states that it happened in. It wasn't a malicious act, just incompetence.

Let's be honest after 1 generation, maybe 2 but probably not in this transient world we live in where people move etc. Nobody is going to visit a grave. Your grandkids aren't coming, your great grandkids sure ain't coming, your buddies aren't either. Buy everyone that shows up at the party a couple drinks and become dust in the wind. Thats how I see it.

Years ago, most people did cremation because it was considerably cheaper and didn't straddle their loved ones with a bunch of cost after they passed. Now, cremation can be almost as much or even more than a traditional burial.

I told Riley I want a basic cremation. Take my ashes and spread a few at my dads grave and some on Buchanan and some at the ranch, then she do with the rest whatever.