Evils of Liquor
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

He sits down and reaches into his pocket
Pulls out a tiny piano
Reaches back into his pocket
Pulls out a tiny piano player
Tiny piano player goes up to the piano and starts playing

Other guy sitting a few seats down says that's amazing where'd you get that!!??
Original guy says there's a genie bottle out in the ditch in front of the bar
Before he could finish his comment other guy is gone

Original guy sitting there enjoying his drink looks back
Ducks start walking into the bar
Duck after duck after duck

Other guy walks back into the bar and says
Somethings wrong with that genie
I asked for a million bucks

Original guys says
I was going to tell you but you left too quick
I think that genie is hard of hearing
Do you think I asked for a six inch pianist?