Guy Walks Into a Bar (2nd try)

He sits down and reaches into his pocket
Pulls out a tiny piano
Reaches back into his pocket
Pulls out a tiny piano player
Tiny piano player goes up to the piano and starts playing

Other guy sitting a few seats down says that's amazing where'd you get that!!??
Original guy says there's a genie bottle out in the ditch in front of the bar
Before he could finish his comment other guy is gone

Original guy sitting there enjoying his drink looks back
Ducks start walking into the bar
Duck after duck after duck

Other guy walks back into the bar and says
Somethings wrong with that genie
I asked for a million bucks

Original guys says
I was going to tell you but you left too quick
I think that genie is hard of hearing
Do you think I asked for a six inch pianist?

I don’t get it

The genie couldn't hear well.

Lol!

I was at first disappointed, then encouraged, but alas disappointed

I didn't mention what brand he was drinking

Ok

Old guy walks into a bar and asks the hunchback bartender for a shot of Jack. Bartender says, "that'll be 8 bucks." Old guys says, "damn that's high". Next he orders a shot of vodka. Bartenders says, "that will be 10 bucks". Again old guy says "damn that's high" This went on all night with every drink he ordered. At the end of the night, old man gratefully pays his tab and as he is leaving the bartender said, "I appreciate you not ever mentioning my hunchback". Old guy says, "Hunchback?"... I thought that was your azz as high as everything else is around here."

Boo you suck git off the stage !

F- and he sold himself short

Guy walks into a bar. Above the back bar is a sign says I'll give you a $1000 if you can make my mule laugh. Guy asks the barkeep where the mule was. Out back.
Guy goes out back and whispers something's in the mule's ear. The mule broke out in historical laughter. The guy collected his money and left.
A few weeks later the same guy walks back into the bar. This time the sign says
If you can make my mule cry I'll give you a thousand dollars. Guy says he wants to try. He goes out back. Next sound they hear is the mule crying his eyes out.
The barkeep pays the guy and says the least you can do is tell how you made that mule laugh and cry.
Guy says the first time I told that mule that my pecker was bigger than his.
This time I showed him.

RAW POST GPA

If you aspire to 6 it says a lot about you.

Dung beetle walks into a bar and asks "Is this stool taken?".

A Horse walks into a Bar
Bartender ask why the long face!!

A termite walks into a bar
and ask where's the bartender?

Mildred walks into a bar and pulls up a stool. Yes Ma'am says the bartender, what'll it be. 'I'm waiting for my friend, a beer please. Mildred sips a little and begins to lean at which point the bartender gently nudges the sweet old lady upright. Mildred sips again and begins to lean the other way. Being a fine gentleman, bartender gently straightens her up.

About this time, Mildred's friend shows up and they walk out. Mildred tells her friend, 'That's a nice bar and a great bartender, but they won't let you fart in there.'

Evils of Liquor
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Good one...
God Bless (us all)

sarah jessica parker walked into a bar
the bartender says
hey, who let the horse in?

A skeleton walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “What can I get ya?” Skeleton says, “Just a draft beer and a mop please.”

It's 12 inch pianist.

nope ,

must resist

MO