Today was odd.

Working outside up at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion when a "hipster" approaches me and asks how I get the mustache of my beard to curl. To which I replied "um, genetics? It's just how my hair is..." he said "damn man I've been trying to get it like that forever" sucked on his vape box the size of a box of cigarettes and walked away. I don't know if I felt insulted, weirded out or just annoyed.

Moist ache?

What the heck is a moist ache ? ? ? ?

Is this him?

Perhaps a misspelling of moustache (UK spelling) that was auto-corrected?

Fixed.

you missed out, should of told him:
1) it was the result of motorboating on a daily basis

2) you spent your early years as a carnie guessing the fat wimminz weight by having them sit on your face

He was hitting on you. He wanted to do unmentionable things with your facial hair.