Olds and tall tales

Why do olds make up stories?

They are usually about how they put some young person in their place.

The bravest people on the internet are probably the most timid in the real world.

And this only applies to “olds”? At least olds have lived long enough to maybe have experienced some of the things they talk about.

It’s just an observation and had absolutely nothing to do with life experiences.

I’m talking about tales like this.
“I saw a young democrat at the market with earrings. I told him real men don’t wear those things and ripped it out of his ear”

Or..some of us, 'Olds' don't do very well in a real life face to face conversation. Due to years and years of getting grit from know it all young punks. Timid isn't the word. Its low tolerance for nonsense.

Aka, Long in the Tooth.


That's my theory.

Stories like that are just idiotic. I wouldn’t believe those regardless of the persons age telling it.

I have had some interesting experiences and if I told them as stories, I’m sure they would be labeled untrue. But I wouldn’t make em up

Not sure how you paint an entire age group with the same broad brush. Every age group exaggerates. Heck I heard a Gen Z telling a tale about eating a whole bag of flamin hot Cheetos and a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew while posting on TikTok and never missed a beat. Pure talent.

… I thought we already had the debate about “Corn Pop”?

It has been my experience that the ones who don’t talk are the ones who can or have done a lot, regardless of age.

My Dad is the one that filled my head with stories.


Like the time he was hunting bull frogs. He would hide in the weeds as a Blue Northern was going to hit. And at the moment it did hit and froze everything. He said he'd jump up and yell to scare the bull frogs into the water. Timing it just right. The pond would freeze halfway through the frog jump.

The pond was frozen with nothing but frog legs sticking out the top. Then all you had to do was go around and cut the legs off the frogs.


I believe that [censored] for most of young childhood.

I worked for this guy back when I was around 30 he was around 60 and knew everything about everything. I did not believe half of what he said but after some years most of what he said was good advice.

Ive got a good one. Wife and I were headed back from Mio Nonno in Allen having dinner. Some idiot starts weaving all over the place. Tailgating us, even got in front of us and kept riding on the brakes. This goes on all the way from stacey and 75 to stacey and 121. We are stopped at the light and he opens his door so I step out and do the same. Younger black kid in his mid 20's I'm guessing. I didn't know what to do at this point because I didn't want to get unalived on a random week night. So I did the logical thing and threw a full plastic bottle of water at him. Hit's his door so he picks it up. He trows it back at me and hits me right in the face. He laughed, got in his car and took off. I laughed, Mrs Spagnola laughed and we went on our way.

I think olds tell life stories in much the same way as fishermen tell fishing stories.

No fisherman ever wants to tell the story of the little dink that got away.

“Back In ‘72 I got kicked out of the Army cause I beat up my (insert officer or drill sergeant here). I don’t take orders from anybody” = I got kicked out of basic training for bed wetting

Kids lie more than anyone

Young liars sometimes turn into old liars
Young thieves sometimes turn into old thieves

Well, how do you know they are making the stories up? Were you born with that talent.

Sometimes ugly children turn into attractive adults though. I just don’t get it.

TRUTH

I don’t believe you

I like olds just fine. I get that it can get boring watching Gunsmoke reruns from 2am until dinner at noon. they need a way to spice up their day until bedtime at 5pm so they make up stories.

My wife and I were at a high school reunion, standing in a group of guys I have known, hung around, played football with, and shared a lot of experiences with for the last 40 years. When we got in the truck to go home she laughed and said, "They told stories that were almost word for word just as you told them over the years."

I said, "Of course they were. Did you think I was lying?"

I NEVER get bored watching gunsmoke-

But wait——those are reruns ???

Pink Thong?

That’s some real life [censored] right here.

1972... Three blocks across the bridge in Nuevo Laredo..

It was a dark and stormy night.. The almost constant thunder all but drowned out the unmistakable chorus of "El Rancho Grande" emanating from the building they called, "Papa Gallos.."

Between claps of thunder and song changes one could discern the sounds of empty Tequilla bottles washing down the street as they bounced off the curb, clinking and pinging on their way to who knows where..

A glowing red light from the front window dully illuminated the sidewalk and the gutter, where my buddy was feverishly trying to retrieve his two pack of Trojans, that had slipped out of his wet, drunk hands..

He was standing ankle deep in water, wearing his new Tony Lamas that his Mom had just bought him for graduation.

But on this night, he was in search of a different kind of graduation. His accension to manhood..

Wearing a grin and a hardon he boldly stepped up to the front door, hesitating for a second before boldly he threw it open..

Well [censored].. I'm an old.. That's all I can remember..

Why do you make up stories?

Well, we do it for the same reason(s).

You've prolly been snipe hunting then.

And you had better have the right burlap sack or the snipe can smell it from miles away!

There was a girl we went to HS with. Skinny, not attractive, just very homely looking. At the 10 year reunion she walked in a freakin total knockout. Seems she went off and became a model.

I thought olds physically couldn’t have sex?

LOL

On time at band camp....

What makes me laugh is the olds that claim they have done everything, any topic that comes up claim have been there done that, expert at everything, hell probably invented earth too

You're an old.

TF I am, will never happen in my lifetime

You fixin to fiz out?

You gotta quit doing that. So many errors !

Old people that tell tall tales being judged by people that snort condoms and eat tide pods………..that makes sense!!!

Never RayBob, live forever @25

Probably a lot of truth in this one

I have heard a similar version from many old timers

Aren’t you a pot calling the kettle black.

If you can, provide FACTS to the above statement. Also you might proof your stories, any decent “old” would have pulled all the ear rings out. “Things” is plural, meaning more than one, “it” is singular. Have you finished 5th grade yet.

Whenever I call my mother and ask her what she's doing, she's watching a western.

I know a older gentleman that has a place at the lake, He was/is a Vietnam era marine. Has a real quiet demeanor.

He was one them guys that found and disarmed bombs in the jungle that did not explode when dropped.

I have known him about 15 yrs and he has never told any WAR STORIES when anyone else was present . and only what his job was.

Nothing specific. I was eating with him and a few other guys a month ago and there was another guy about same age telling war stories, you know been everywhere done everything stories, he said he was a Marine also.

The friend of mine didn't even acknowledge that he had been in the service. For sure not what he had done.

My point is not all them olds tell stories or brag about what they have done. Just my thoughts.

Good one Steve.

This is not true. Andy Griffith is the GOAT

Its not that we can't physically, its just the wife says no and leaves you wondering when did she learn the art of ji jitsu

Similar story. We had a Vietnam vet here at work that ran our warehouse. He never talked about his time in Vietnam although we used to occasionally ask him about it. He would mostly just say "I was everywhere we weren't." He passed away a few years back. We had a Christmas party here at the office not to long after he passed. His wife was invited because she was like family to us. She told us he was in Cambodia and Laos for weeks at a time on several occasions. He would never tell her that when they were able to talk becuase we weren't supposed to be there. Years later he finally did tell her some horrible stories of what he'd done and seen, but she said he never spoke a word to anyone else about it as far as she knew - even his own kids. She also told us that when he was discharged, he burned his uniform right outside the gate at the base where he was in California and never used any of his VA benefits. Not all olds run their mouth about been there, done that.

After they lose a baby tooth I tell my grandkids that if they DON’T put their tongue in the hole left by the lost tooth, they will grow a gold tooth. So far no gold teeth have been grown…no kid can resist putting their tongue there.

I was told this when I was a tot, and I am an old.

I as well. I am just glad I dont have to shave my palms...