P***ssing Off the Back Patio

Got caught while grilling. I’m four beers into “I Don’t Care”

Wife’s worried about the neighbors but pretty sure they can’t see this from across the creek during the summer time.

I told her she’s just jealous. It’s our God given gift.

I have a rule at my house. If you don't sit to pizz , pizz outside.

Saving water with no need to flush!

Miss it...if I do it now it'll be on their BBQ

Tell her

Tell her to work on her kegels and she can do it with you.

I piss outside more then inside. I have nothing behind me but trees and fields for 1/2 mile.

The back porch is 30 wide. I need to alternate shooting position. There’s a dead yellow patch at my usual target.

I try to spread mine around.

Saving water since 1970 or so....90% or more outside

Front porch too!

Overachiever

Ex-wife's brother taught his toddler to go outside and told him he could go on the grass - anywhere the ground was green. Worked great until they visited friends who had a green rug in the living room.

Just did. Felt so good.

Was at Grandson's T Ball game this Summer in Bronte, a 3-4 yr old playing outfield needed to whiz.

He dropped his britches and pizzed in front of The whole crowd of 50 to 75 people watching. everybody thought it was funny except the parents.

At least she doesn't have to worry about the seat being left up!!

My uncle had a tiny cabin close to Proctor years ago. I stayed a weekend. We were chuggin beers and were directed to go to the back of the property to pee, so I did...like 50 times. His cabin backed up to somebody elses. I guess I got curious after having my britches down and staring at the place. I asked who lived in the cabin behind him. He says some old lady. I said I sure am glad she isn't home. She'd be getting a show. He looked at me funny and said...she is home.

Pizzing in the wind (edit)
Betting on a losing friend
Making the same mistakes
We swore we'd never make again

I practically grew up at a friend's house. We used to have regular poker games and everyone went outside. When I was there last fall I noticed the two trees, one in the front yard and one outside the back door, that we used were no longer there. The old place wasn't the same. I told them back then none of us realized they had indoor plumbing.

Seems kind of silly to walk into a bathroom for a #1.

Nightly ritual around 2 AM

Do you know anyone that can't pee standing in a boat? I took a buddy to Hubbard and he had to pee but couldn't do it on the boat. I had to take him to shore. My neighbor has to kneel and pee in a bucket. Even kneeling he can't pee sometimes.

I bet it smells really good around some of y'alls house.

When I was looking for property, I told the Realtor lady that was one of my first priorities...I want to be able to pee outside. She laughed, I laughed, then I told her that was a serious request.

I don't piss in my yard all the time...and besides the rain cleans it up for me.

Great way for dog and man to bond...

When God made Adam and eve he stood back and said he was happy. He ask them if there was anything they like to add. Adam said I would like to pee standing up. Reve said she would like multiple organisms.

Good fertilizer

I can pretty much go anywhere on my property and take a whizz with no one looking in and screaming an anaconda is on the loose.

My wife will tell me that I’m killing the grass, I tell her it’s not me it them dang dogs we have.

Some of us have dogs that urinate out back all the time. What’s the difference?

The trick is to spread it around a bit...write your name in cursive etc.... Me and my lab spread it a round pretty good, my wife's dog pisses in the same spot all the times, it gets smelly, I have to hit it with a water hose every now and then..

I did have better results when I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex.

I tried it here in AZ for a while until my wife hit me upside my head until my eyes rolled up. She noticed the smell since we have little rain.

You got that right. I have a 2 year old Banana that always looked sickly, never grew much. Until I read to pee on it. I pee on it 1-2 times per week along with regular watering. The thing has grown 6 feet taller and now looks super healthy. Now I can get away with peeing outside even when my wife is out. Didn't work as well for the avacado...

it's called marking your territory.

Well, you are a licensed irrigator............................

my back patio faces Red Oak Creek. It's 40 miles long and as big as some rivers.
The yard looks like a pic from a State Park.


That said, I wouldn't live anywhere that I couldn't piss of the back porch.

I used to fish with a guy that said he couldn't, He was in the Navy on a nuclear submarine. I asked him how he did it then? He said that was different.

All of your friends are doing it.

You know what else dogs do?


Lick their own balls.


You gonna start doing that, too?

People kiss their dogs after the dog has licked themselves. Should they bypass the middle man?