Limerick Day

Whatcha got? Come on Butch, make it rhyme.

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter, named Nan,

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

there once was a woman from Sarat

who had triplets named Tom, Tim, and Tat

it was fun in the breeding,

but hard in the feeding,

because there was not tit for Tat

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I sure don't know how the helican!

There once was a man named Dave

He found a dead hooker in a cave

She was as ugly as sin

She looked like rin-tin-tin

But think of the money he'd save

~ Andrew Dice Clay

No, just no.

God said, " Baseball between us sounds swell"!

Satan replied, "Your team, just will not, do well"!

"I know Mantle and Ruth play for you

but there ain't a whole lot, they can do

cause the Umpires, are all down here, in Hell"!

There was a young sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates.
But a fall on his cutlass
Has rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.

There once was a man from Drass

His balls were made of brass

In stormy weather, they clang together

And lightning shot out his @ss

I joined this forum in 2015

thinking you guys had some class

but I soon found out , without a doubt

most of you folks are a pain in the @ss

There once was a man from Pawtucket

(Sorry, the posting rules say that I can't finish this one.)

Winner.

Always add a picture!

Fail.

In days of old, when knights were bold
Before toilets had been invented
They dropped their loads upon the roads
And walked away.........Contented.

A mathematician named Hall,
Had a hexahedronical ball
The cube of it's weight
Plus his Johnson times eight,
Is his phone number, give him a call.

There once was a lass from Peru,
Who found an elephants w*ng in her stew,
Said the waiter with a mutter, don’t make such a clutter,
Or the others will all want one too

One dark night when the moon was green
A man came out with a fart machine
A fart was fired, a scream was heard
A man was hit by a flying turd

Some of y'all need to learn what a Limerick is.

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-a-limerick#what-is-a-limerick

I read the examples your posted
it's early so I'm not yet toasted
I wont throw a fit
but I'm about done with it
I hope this wont get me roasted

I have had lessons on what a "limerick" is
In fact, I made A's on the Quiz
Your link may be true
and your facts may be straight,
but you gotta loosen up,
and lose all the hate.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

Never heard that one before.