We need a good Bass fishing joke thread, it is Monday!

This is one an old(80 something) friend of mine loves to tell...

When the geese fly South for the winter, they fly in V shape formations and sometimes the V is bigger on one side. He thoughtfully asks why is that???


Because there are more geese on that side!!!


So stupid and makes me laugh every time and I know it is coming

Jack: Why do fish swim in schools?
Jill: I don’t know.
Jack: Because they can’t walk!

And one one of my Scouts told me years ago...

A pirate walks into a bar with a ships helm sticking out of the top of his pants. The bartender asks wow isn't that uncomfortable? Pirate says Arrgh its driving me nuts!!

Two guys were fishing for the first time ever and had rented a boat. As luck would have it the first spot they stopped at they started catching fish one after the other. One guy said to the other" dude we got to mark this spot and come back again tomorrow". "How do you propose to do that" said the other. " Simple" said the first. "I'll mark an X on the side of the boat". " You dummy" said the other, " what if we don't get this same boat and somebody else finds our spot "?
My dad use to tell my brother and I this joke everytime we got together and we laughed our a$$es off, not because the joke was funny but because he told it everytime we saw him. I betcha he laughed hard at us because we laughed at the same joke all the time.
I miss my dad.

I ask the bar tender to line up ten shots of tequila.. As quick as he pored the first one I shot it .. then the second. Then the third. Woo there bud he says. Why drink so fast ? If you had what I have you would drink fast to... Sorry what do you have ? about 1.56..

guy walks into a bar with a largemouth on his head...bartender says "can I help You?" the largemouth says yea, can you get this guy off my butt?

What did the bass say when it swam into the wall?

Dam

What did the dam say when the bass swam into it?

Dumb bass

After reading these maybe we don't

Why do divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat!

You guys need to hang onto your day jobs.

Hope y’all don’t quit y’alls day jobs to pick up comedy .

One day..

Steve and Bob were out fishing when a funeral service passed over the bridge they were fishing by.

Steve took his hat off and put it over his heart until the funeral service passed by.

Bob said "Gee Steve, I didn't know you had it in you!"

Steve replied, "The least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."

That one made me laugh!

That’s funny...

One Saturday I got up at 4am to be on the water at daylight. I hadn't checked the weather and when I walked outside it was pouring down. No big deal, I'll go to the shop and work on organizing some tackle, respool and what not until the rain lets up. I ended up spending a couple of hours out there and heard a weather report that it's going to be a monsoon all day. So I decide to blow it off and go back to the house.
I put on a pot of coffee and wander into the bedroom. The wife is still laying there with her back to me, covers thrown back and in her bday suit. I'm thinking this might not be a wasted morning after all I shucked the clothes and spooned up next to her and whispered in her ear, "It is raining cats and dogs out there." And she replied in her sexiest come hither voice, " I know, can you believe my dumb azz husband has gone fishing?"

4 men were on the lake fishing in a boat..The boat flipped over. Every single man fell into the water. The men however never did get wet. How did they not get wet?

They were all married...... Bah dum tsssss.

I guess this one is over my head!

Me too. I been married a long time and I got pretty soaked when I fail in.

A very jealous man got a text from his next door neighbor. "My conscience is killing me! I have been using your WIFE every chance I get. I have been guilty while you were at work and even sometimes after you fall asleep. I hope you can find a way to forgive me!"
The man read the message several times getting madder and madder each time. He finally snapped, stormed into the bedroom and shot his wife.
Just a few minutes later he got another text from the neighbor.
"Darn spell check! I meant using your WIFI.

They were married so there was no single man to get wet.

What Do Fish And Women Have In Common?
They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!

So I hired a guide for a couple days to fish a river in Canada. Before the first day, he told me to meet him at the dock at 6am, but he might be about ten minutes late. The next morning he was there on time. We spent the entire day fishing the left bank of the river and boy did we catch them. The second day he told me to meet him at the dock at 6am, but he might be about ten minutes late. Next morning he was there on time. This time we fished the right bank all day and it was fabulous. After the trip I asked him how he decides where to fish. He told me that when he wakes up if his wife is sleeping on her left side then he fishes the left side of the river. If she is on her right side he fishes the right side of the river. Amazing I told him, but what do you do if she is on her back. Then, he said, I’ll be about ten minutes late.

Me too. I been married a long time and I got pretty soaked when I fail in. [/quote
Not a SINGLE man got wet. How can you be married and single at the same time..? Lol.

Lol!! Thanks. Made my day.

An intelligent blonde woman Abbie is driving along a country road, out in rolling hills of the Rocky Mountains, when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she notices that it is another blonde woman in a canoe in the middle of a field rowing the canoe like crazy.
Abbie stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the canoe; “What are you doing?” The blonde in the boat,yells back hurriedly, “I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!”
Abbie at the side of the road is infuriated. “I can’t believe my ears! You are out in the middle of a field in a canoe! It’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! In fact, if I could swim,I would swim out there and kick your azz!”

Hey guys, “it’s time to get ready for fishing season!”

It’s not really a joke I guess but I have been seeing a lot of ads and stuff talking about getting ready for fishing season and I have to laugh. I don’t know how I would survive if I had to wait around for “fishing season” to open

That is a thing up North. I grew up in Oregon and they have or at least had when I was young a fishing season.

Yes sir I understand. I’m sure glad I live in texas

Ok. There are 2 bass sitting in a bar. One bass says to the other one, “You should have seen this guy, he must have been 200lbs, I almost had him out of the boat and the line broke.

Me too!! Got here as quick as I could as they say.