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Jan 23rd, 2013
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Best Friends kill me sometimes #14405256 06/26/22 08:45 PM
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flashman252 Online Content OP
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I have a buddy, and he is like my right hand. We hunt together, fish together, camp together, love his kids like my own and he has always been there for me. But he irked my chain pretty good finally and I don't really know what to think because it just seemed so out of character.

Were planning a fishing trip for awhile until I got yanked into having to go to Oklahoma to see my brother. I felt bad and told him to take the boat. I have just recently added AT and he isn't very good with electronics and just likes to fish. I on the other hand really like breaking down a lake with electronics and have spent quite the dollars (like most of us) to have all the nice bells and whistles. In Oklahoma, he calls me to tell me my AT isn't working. I run him through a bunch of things to do, no fix and I apologize and tell him I will have to look at it in person. Feel pretty bad but what can I do a few states away.

I get back to his place a few days later to pick up the boat and it is covered in mud. All over the carpet, top to bottom just a mess. Dried caked on mud everywhere. I walk around the boat and see it isn't plugged in, and I always tell him it is super important to get it on the charger when you get home but that isn't a huge deal until I realize he left the switch on to the electronics the entire time. Ran the battery down to the point it will not turn on any of the electronics. Now I am starting to fume a little, knowing that I specifically told him and showed him where this was and how important it was to ensure it be turned off with AT. I'm a little hot now thinking that maybe the AT ducer pinged for a couple days straight because he failed to listen at all to what I said.

Tear into the boat (keeping my cool) and the ducer became disconnected from the black box. Probably the only thing that saved it since it would have been pinging for a day or two straight because it worked yesterday on the lake when I took it out. But the mud, well that will be coming out of the boat for months. All he said was it rained and got a little sloppy, but the travel trailer he just got was spick and span clean as a whistle and I know it went down the same road the boat did to go camping.

Love the dude to death, probably more than my own family, but damn he lit me up this time. Anyone else got friends that they love more than family but just get under your skin sometimes? And maybe thats what friends are for, there to test you at times but deep down I know he would move mountains if I needed something.

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405279 06/26/22 09:18 PM
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IMO there is no such thing as a "best friend". People will let you down. I had a best friend like you mention, in fact a couple of them. They both pulled boneheaded moves to make me keep them at arms length even though we're still friends. Now I know what they both are capable of.


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Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: RayBob] #14405292 06/26/22 09:29 PM
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Originally Posted by RayBob
IMO there is no such thing as a "best friend". People will let you down. I had a best friend like you mention, in fact a couple of them. They both pulled boneheaded moves to make me keep them at arms length even though we're still friends. Now I know what they both are capable of.




This is interesting. I would be a lonely man without this dude lol. We get in lots of trouble together. The women hate us, I been doing hood rat things with this friend for 10 years now and still have a good time with the dude. Like I said, I was pretty disappointed and I was holding back anger with a lot of might, but it was extremely out of character for him. Just not really sure what to make of the whole situation.

Yesterday, the battery for the electronics went dead in about 3 hours of fishing. He was dumb founded, and all I could say was, pretty sure that battery is toast now. All I could do was shrug and reinforce why to plug in the boat and to turn off the switch to the electronics. A battery is definitely a whole lot cheaper than a new AT ducer though.

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405298 06/26/22 09:34 PM
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The closest friends I’ve had in my life have gone by the wayside, as in I haven’t communicated or tried to get in touch with in 30+ years. I have some really good buds through work or kids sports, i golf with a few of them occasionally. I can absolutely confirm that I know of nobody that I would let use my boat, you’re a good friend

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405302 06/26/22 09:38 PM
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The one thing I have learned that has helped me in situations like these is Do Not Expect Yourself From Others. In other words, don't expect people to react/act like you would in a given situation. Life will become easier and you will be happier in the end.

I love my best friend and have sacrificed a lot of time and money to get him back to a life he can enjoy...I know he would do the same for me if the roles were reversed, BUT the man will not return text messages in a timely manner, if at all. At first I thought it was just me, but his friends in his line of work all have a group chat titled ******** does NOT return texts. They call him out on social media about it. It's just who he is. Drives me nuts because I am the one who coordinates his doctors appointments and I need to know what his schedule is so I can get everything coordinated with my schedule.

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405304 06/26/22 09:40 PM
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I can’t believe you would expect anything different. Seriously.

Nobody will take care of anything they didn’t pay for outta there own pocket. It just doesn’t happen. It ain’t their fault. It’s yours for thinking it would happen. Live and learn. Give him [censored] about it for sure. But, don’t expect to make a difference. Next time you are feeling like loaning anything…Think of it as giving it away with a chance you’ll get it back. Anything beyond that is a win.


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Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405305 06/26/22 09:40 PM
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Fix the issue and let him know in the most tactful way that this was because of his negligence.

I would be way more pissed about my boat being filthy than a battery, personally.



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Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405339 06/26/22 10:08 PM
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Combination of too many beers and excess heat are not favorable for boat detailing.




Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405341 06/26/22 10:09 PM
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I've got 2 good friends that I would let use my boat and am confident that they would return it in better shape than when it left.

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: Douglas J] #14405349 06/26/22 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Douglas J
Fix the issue and let him know in the most tactful way that this was because of his negligence.

I would be way more pissed about my boat being filthy than a battery, personally.


Definitely more pissed about the mud. It's gonna take a good while to get it all out. Was actually happy it was just the battery and that the ducer wasn't bad from pinging for days. And it is exactly why we went fishing yesterday without a new battery, wanted to kind of prove a point that we were going old school as soon as the battery went dead. Only took 3 hours into the trip for it to happen. Kind of pointless though, I noticed the electronics just blacked out and it took about an hour when he realized there was nothing on any screen. Again, just shrugged and said yup, battery is shot for sure. Picked up a different rod and started dragging a different color jig. What can you do?

Valid points to all. Not sure I would let this kill a friendship. Maybe I am too nice, but I think I value friendship over material things more. Take my boat without me, ya that won't happen again until he actually shows he understands using the damn thing, but ruin a friendship, not likely. Boats are boats, trailers are trailers, decoys are decoys, guns are guns, but takes a good long while to find truly good friends in this world. I can honestly say, I have a really good friend in him. Just got under my skin worse than a chigger this last week.

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405354 06/26/22 10:20 PM
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Wife, truck, boat. 3 Things to never, ever lend to your buddy.


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Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405355 06/26/22 10:20 PM
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Originally Posted by flashman252
Originally Posted by Douglas J
Fix the issue and let him know in the most tactful way that this was because of his negligence.

I would be way more pissed about my boat being filthy than a battery, personally.


Definitely more pissed about the mud. It's gonna take a good while to get it all out. Was actually happy it was just the battery and that the ducer wasn't bad from pinging for days. And it is exactly why we went fishing yesterday without a new battery, wanted to kind of prove a point that we were going old school as soon as the battery went dead. Only took 3 hours into the trip for it to happen. Kind of pointless though, I noticed the electronics just blacked out and it took about an hour when he realized there was nothing on any screen. Again, just shrugged and said yup, battery is shot for sure. Picked up a different rod and started dragging a different color jig. What can you do?

Valid points to all. Not sure I would let this kill a friendship. Maybe I am too nice, but I think I value friendship over material things more. Take my boat without me, ya that won't happen again until he actually shows he understands using the damn thing, but ruin a friendship, not likely. Boats are boats, trailers are trailers, decoys are decoys, guns are guns, but takes a good long while to find truly good friends in this world. I can honestly say, I have a really good friend in him. Just got under my skin worse than a chigger this last week.



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Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: flashman252] #14405359 06/26/22 10:24 PM
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I let someone borrow my boat one time and he left it sitting under a tree. It was completely filthy when he brought it back to me. That being said, I still have a few friends I would lend a boat to. Your buddy should have cleaned your boat and offered to buy a new battery. Your boat should have been cleaned before the travel trailer. It shows a bit of a one-way street in your friendship.


The solution to any problem - work, love, money, whatever - is to go fishing, and the worse the problem, the longer the trip should be. --John Gierach

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Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: Bob Davis] #14405367 06/26/22 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Davis
Wife, truck, boat. 3 Things to never, ever lend to your buddy.


seems like a few on here would lend their wife before they lend their boat!

Re: Best Friends kill me sometimes [Re: Bob Davis] #14405373 06/26/22 10:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Davis
Wife, truck, boat. 3 Things to never, ever lend to your buddy.



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