Not everything you saw or met during someones life is all that good. I think a truth bears more weight on a persons life than pretending something that not true.
I'm respectful of those that deserve respect. living or dead. But respect or as you call it "shade" comes via the way you treated people and were true to every one you met in life.
Just not in this case but everyone and anyone.
I know this is way of base here but just to show an example. Do you, I and most everyone throw "shade" on people like Hitler, Stalin, Castro, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy's and the rest of those like that? They are dead, so we should just pretend the things they did does not matter anymore and we should only say good things about them? It is either yes or no, there cannot be a in-between here. **(I am not in any way comparing her to these people, I just find you cannot think you only can do it to certain people and not others)**
Again I go back to what is a truth or we find ourselves seeking lies or false narratives about people.