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Church Squirrels
#13843591
01/12/21 07:35 PM
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 44,554
a777pilot
OP
TFF Guru
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OP
TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 44,554 |
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. No, it's an EMP!
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843596
01/12/21 07:38 PM
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 49,422
RATZ
Activity Coordinator
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Activity Coordinator
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 49,422 |
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843600
01/12/21 07:40 PM
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,034
Spiderman
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,034 |
The Truth is six of the seven Dwarfs are not Happy!
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843604
01/12/21 07:42 PM
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 11,008
BigDozer66
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 11,008 |
2016 Ranger RT188 Charcoal Metallic Dual Console 2017 Yamaha 115 VMAX SHO (VF115LA) SS Prop Minn Kota Ultrex i-Pilot Link 45" 80 lb. Humminbird Helix 10 Mega SI BalZout Console Humminbird Helix 10 Mega SI BBT Bow Mount Trick Step
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843608
01/12/21 07:42 PM
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 50,892
Trickster
Super Freak
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Super Freak
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 50,892 |
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843621
01/12/21 07:50 PM
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 10,282
Siberman
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 10,282 |
Ok , time for somebody to post the "Mississippi Squirrel Revival" video .
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843625
01/12/21 07:54 PM
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 12,675
Curt0407
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 12,675 |
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843630
01/12/21 07:57 PM
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 95,460
Bigbob_FTW
Big Sprocket Bob
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Big Sprocket Bob
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 95,460 |
FJB
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843651
01/12/21 08:08 PM
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,973
thrashfish
Extreme Angler
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Extreme Angler
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,973 |
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13843659
01/12/21 08:10 PM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5,731
JCG57
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5,731 |
Nice. Try posting it on Facebook and see if your crime is as serious as trying to sell some bullets.
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13845456
01/14/21 01:54 AM
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 44,554
a777pilot
OP
TFF Guru
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OP
TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 44,554 |
I did post it on Facebook. So far I'm not in jail.
Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. No, it's an EMP!
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13845466
01/14/21 02:04 AM
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 24,849
outfishdya
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 24,849 |
Woke up this morning Got yourself a gun....
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13845474
01/14/21 02:16 AM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 14,082
Stump jumper
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 14,082 |
It this the Jewish squirrel?
2200 Bay Champ/200 Mercury Optimax 2017 Tundra TSS 4x4 Crewmax 5.7L
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: a777pilot]
#13845475
01/14/21 02:17 AM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 11,712
Coach Hark
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 11,712 |
Just a squirrel trying to get a nut.
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Re: Church Squirrels
[Re: Stump jumper]
#13845514
01/14/21 03:02 AM
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,647
PowerLizard
TFF Team Angler
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TFF Team Angler
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,647 |
It this the Jewish squirrel? That is a Baker Mayfield college squirrel!
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