Ain’t nothing happening worth a chit after 11:30 so be home by 12

When eating my grandpa would say “it ain’t great but it will build a turd”

A few others
I’m hungry as a hostage.
I’m so hungry my stomach is rubbing a blister on my back bone.
Don’t sweat the petty things. Pet the sweaty things.

Honesty is the best policy

When I got hurt, he would say, "I've had worse on my eyeball"

Did you hit your head getting out of bed this morning?

“If I tell you a piss ant can pull a freight train you better start looking for a harness”

" if I wanted any cr*p from you I will squeeze your head "

" is that your best effort " --- even if I did something good , he would say that

" do it right the first time , or you get to do it all over again "

My Dad died when I was young and most of the things I remember would get censored here as that was just how he expressed himself. Mom never even said “Darn”. Makes me often wonder how they got together! lol

So hungry my a..hole has cob webs.
Put your brain in a thimble it would look like a bb in a boxcar.
You do that again, i"ll jerk a knot in your a..!
If bullsh?? was music you would sound like a brass band.
Sass me and will hit you so hard your momma will feel it.
If a chicken had your brain she would lay square eggs.
Useless as a woodpecker with rubber lips.
I helped bring you into this world and i can damn sure take you out.
Boy your so slow if you were running and shi??ing you would leave a pile

“Buy you books and all you do is eat the covers”
“Faster then a stripped a$$ ape”
“Cant see it from my house”

I laughed so hard at some of these I nearly w.t myself. And now many of us on the Forum find ourselves as Dads and Granddads! so I guess bite our tongues but probably wont! lol

“Well I’ll be go to hell”. Every time he stomped on the gas he would say he put the “Chevy to the levee”. Obviously his interpretation of the line in Don Mcleans American Pie. Miss the hell outa that man. Died at 48 .

Hold the flashlight still.

Does that look like a 9/16 wrench?

Which one of you did that?

That’s the way the mop flops
I will clean your plow
I told him I was going to whip my sister a$$...son you better bring a sack lunch. She was a little wide.

You are not a man until you jump out of an airplane, you are not a man until you whip your dad