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Little Johnny in Sex Education Class #13651237 07/31/20 02:57 AM
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As could reasonably be expected, Johnny was also a riot in his school's sexual education class.

"Now, listen, everyone," the teacher had been saying. "We're going to use some big words, and I want you to be familiar with them. Today's word is 'hormones,' and I want you to look for how they might affect your life."

The next day, the students were all asked how hormones might have influenced things.

"My older brother spent all night talking to his girlfriend," Susie reported. "It was because of the hormones!"

The teacher nodded. "Very good! How about you, Billy?"
"My pregnant sister started sobbing when she learned that geese could be gay!" declared Billy.

The teacher nodded again. "There's a reference that most people won't get!" Then, steeling herself, she turned to Johnny. "And what about you, Johnny?"

"My mother got mad at a hotel room," Johnny answered.
Several seconds of silence passed.

"I think you need to explain, Johnny," said the teacher.
"Well," Johnny replied, "she found out that my dad was at a hotel instead of at work. When she went to find him, she could hear the hormones."


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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13651393 07/31/20 11:14 AM
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Johnny was walking in the park with his dad when they saw two dogs doing the deed. Johnny asked what they were doing so his dad replied that "they were making puppies".

Later that night, Johnny walked into his parent's bedroom and caught his parent's having sex and again asked what were they doing. The dad replied that "they were making Johnny a new brother or sister".

Johnny thought for a second and then shouted out "turn mommy over because I would rather have a new puppy"!!!


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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13651425 07/31/20 11:45 AM
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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13651432 07/31/20 11:52 AM
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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13651453 07/31/20 12:20 PM
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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13651489 07/31/20 12:49 PM
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OMG

Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: BlueNitro] #13651506 07/31/20 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueNitro
Johnny was walking in the park with his dad when they saw two dogs doing the deed. Johnny asked what they were doing so his dad replied that "they were making puppies".

Later that night, Johnny walked into his parent's bedroom and caught his parent's having sex and again asked what were they doing. The dad replied that "they were making Johnny a new brother or sister".

Johnny thought for a second and then shouted out "turn mommy over because I would rather have a new puppy"!!!


this has got to be best joke of the week......

Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: BlueNitro] #13651541 07/31/20 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueNitro
Johnny was walking in the park with his dad when they saw two dogs doing the deed. Johnny asked what they were doing so his dad replied that "they were making puppies".

Later that night, Johnny walked into his parent's bedroom and caught his parent's having sex and again asked what were they doing. The dad replied that "they were making Johnny a new brother or sister".

Johnny thought for a second and then shouted out "turn mommy over because I would rather have a new puppy"!!!



^^ Brilliant!!!


...
Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: BlueNitro] #13651615 07/31/20 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueNitro
Johnny was walking in the park with his dad when they saw two dogs doing the deed. Johnny asked what they were doing so his dad replied that "they were making puppies".

Later that night, Johnny walked into his parent's bedroom and caught his parent's having sex and again asked what were they doing. The dad replied that "they were making Johnny a new brother or sister".

Johnny thought for a second and then shouted out "turn mommy over because I would rather have a new puppy"!!!



Probably get a wiener dog if it works.

Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13652668 08/01/20 02:24 PM
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It was "tell the class about your fathers work" day at school for Little Johnny. Each student proudly stood in front and gave the details of their dad's work one by one. The teacher understandably dreaded asking Little Johnny to come up to the front of the class. Little Johnny proudly walks up and says, "my dad is a gay stripper. He gives hand jobs in the alley way after work for extra cash on the weekends!" The teacher was horrified and rushed Little Johnny out into the hallway. "Johnny, is what you said about your father true?" Little Johnny replied, "No ma'am. He's a reporter for CNN but I was too embarrassed to say that!"


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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13652868 08/01/20 05:48 PM
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On morning as Little Johnny was sitting in his English class. His teacher was looked amongst her students and said today she wanted them to use the word beautiful in a sentence. She called on Suzie first. Suzie stood up and said "Today is a beautiful day.". The teacher said "Very good Suzie you may sit down". The teacher then looked around and said " Jessica, can you use beautiful in a sentence?". Jessica stood up and said "Yesterday was not as beautiful as today". The teacher replied "Very good Jessica you may sit down. Then the teacher said "Ok, how about you Johnny ". Little Johnny sat there quietly looking around trying to come up with a sentence went the school bell rang. The teacher looked at Little Johnny as he was getting up to leave and said "Hold on Johnny, tomorrow when you get to class I want a sentence using the word beautiful." The next morning as class started the teacher called on Johnny and asked "Do you have your sentence ready?" Little Johnny stood up and said "Last night my sister told my daddy that she was pregnant. He said that's beautiful. Just f@#&*^! beautiful".

Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13652911 08/01/20 07:19 PM
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Good stuff clap


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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13653168 08/01/20 11:35 PM
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At the insistence of the School Board, Sex Education was being taught in elementary school. On the first day of class little Suzie went to her teacher and asked "teacher can my mother have a baby and the teacher answered why yes she can. She had you didn't she? Well, little Suzie asked, "can my older sister have a baby"? How old is she the teacher asked. She is 16 teacher. Why yes she can the teacher answered. Well, little Suzie asked, "can I have a baby"? Why no Suzie I think you are too young at which point little Johnny nudged her and said "see what did I tell you, not a thing to worry about.

Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13655959 08/04/20 03:41 PM
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First day of third grade and the teacher told the class that when she called on a student that they were to give their name, tell what their Dad did for a living, spell it and then give an example of what he would do if he was here today.

Little blond girl raises her hand and once the teacher acknowledges her she says "my name is Susie and my dad is a banker and that is spelled B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today he would give everyone a free pen."

Little girl next to the blond raises her hand and once the teacher acknowledges her she says "my name is Becky and my dad is a baker and that is spelled B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today he would give everyone a free chocolate chip cookie."

Little boy in the back of the class raises his hand and once the teacher acknowledges him he says "my name is Leroy Brown and my dad is an electrician and that is spelled E-L-I-K-E-T-R...". At this point the teacher interrupts Leroy and tells him that he is spelling it wrong so try again. Leroy starts with "E-L-I-C-T-E-R...". Again, the teacher interrupts Leroy and tells him that he is spelling it wrong so take a seat to think about it and they would come back to him. "Yes Ma'am"

Little Johnny is sitting next to Leroy and is jumping up and down in his chair with his hand raised and yelling "Me next" so the teacher says to go ahead.

"Well my name is Johnny and my dad is a bookie and that is spelled B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today he would give ten to one odds that Leroy ain't ever gonna learn how to spell electrician!!!"


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Re: Little Johnny in Sex Education Class [Re: Spiderman] #13655964 08/04/20 03:47 PM
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Classroom making a sentence with the word "definitely"

1st kid... the sky is definitely blue!
Teacher: No, when a storm comes it turns gray.. it's not definitely blue.

2nd kid.. the grass is definitely green!
Teacher: No, when there's a drought, the grass turns brown, its not definitely green.

Billy: Teacher, when you fart does it have lumps?
Teacher: No
Billy: Then I have definitely shiot.


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