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Jan 23rd, 2013
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Daughter in Law Issues #13349014 11/21/19 09:29 PM
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How many of you have gone thru mother in law vs daughter in law issues?

Too much drama around here. My sister’s daughter in law is a bona fide nutcase. She has denied access to the two grand babies for the last year. The two live four miles apart in this tiny town of 15,000. I have seen my great nieces twice this last year. I will not go to Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Ministers, counselors, lawyers...way, way too much drama.

For those who have been thru this...how did it resolve itself.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349022 11/21/19 09:39 PM
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People are hateful and full of themselves. Good luck finding a solution.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349023 11/21/19 09:40 PM
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I can't help with this. I have the greatest DIL in the world!!!



Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349025 11/21/19 09:40 PM
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Those two girls are major factors in my decision to retire here. Now I don’t even see them.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349031 11/21/19 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Pilothawk
Those two girls are major factors in my decision to retire here. Now I don’t even see them.


Go speak with your heart laid bare to the psycho one. Shed some tears. Throw yourself at her feet and grovel. Tell us how it goes.

I'm dead serious about this.


Advice? Wise men don't need it. Fools won't heed it.

Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349032 11/21/19 09:47 PM
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We had it with an ex DIL-
Divorce happened so we do t have to deal with her anymore-
But as much as my wife tried she knew she held the cards (grandkids)
Been many many years and the wife is on better terms with her now.
Pretty sure I will never be-
And it’s probably best-


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349033 11/21/19 09:49 PM
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Is the son still involved with the daughter in law? What is his position in all this?




Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349036 11/21/19 09:50 PM
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My sister has shed so many tears. She is the only immediate family I have left. I’m a bit protective...it would not end well for me to be around the DIL.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: HasBen] #13349037 11/21/19 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by HasBen
Is the son still involved with the daughter in law? What is his position in all this?



Yes. He is trying to keep marriage together for sake of daughters. He is totally lacking a pair.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349038 11/21/19 09:55 PM
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Nothing stronger (good or bad) than family. Tough situation.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349046 11/21/19 10:02 PM
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I guess I'm a bit baffled here. As long as my life wasn't in danger, I could put up with any level of a crazy for a few hours to see my grandkids. Just nod and smile, who cares? I would do what I had to do to make the relationship right for the sake of the grandkids. They are only little once.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349052 11/21/19 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Pilothawk
Originally Posted by HasBen
Is the son still involved with the daughter in law? What is his position in all this?



Yes. He is trying to keep marriage together for sake of daughters. He is totally lacking a pair.



And there it is. She has the power as long as he foolishly thinks there is a chance, or thinks it is best for the children. The girls probably know the parents aren't happy and that toxicity can seep into them.
You can't MAKE him divorce her but try to convince him. And have him fight for as much custody as possible, that's when her true colors will really show themselves.
It will get ugly, probably very ugly before it can get any better.
And also remember that in most States Grandparents don't have any legal rights or say so in these matters, just emotional attachments. .

Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349057 11/21/19 10:19 PM
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I was in a fellowship for many years and one of the areas we talked a lot about were personal relationship problems

I listened to literally hundreds of hours of people discussing candidly and honestly their relationship issues

I can tell you categorically, the most problematic relationships, bar none, were mother-daughter relationships. Rancorous, hostile, vengeful doesn’t even begin to describe the types of stuff I heard from the combatants.

Some of these relationships would eventually reach a tenuous ceasefire but others never healed


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Pilothawk] #13349063 11/21/19 10:28 PM
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My sister will do that. The issue is the irrational hatred DIL has for Sis.

She is the one who prevents family from seeing girls. She holds anger over minor issues that happened 15 years ago. Has panic attacks...

Here’s a simple example: Sis comments...” That’s a beautiful outfit. Where did you get it?”

That simple...commonplace question is taken as Sis suggesting she spends too much money on clothes.

Crazy...

Being around her is like having a claymore facing you at the dinner table.


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Re: Daughter in Law Issues [Re: Jpurdue] #13349066 11/21/19 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Jpurdue
I guess I'm a bit baffled here. As long as my life wasn't in danger, I could put up with any level of a crazy for a few hours to see my grandkids. Just nod and smile, who cares? I would do what I had to do to make the relationship right for the sake of the grandkids. They are only little once.


I am not sure what he has done, but their are girls whom you cannot please no matter what and you just don’t get a choice.

These are tough situations and most of the time if it ever does get fixed it’s usually time that does it and a close mouth on both sides to let it heal.

I had a ex that nothing could be done. We never did fix it no matter what I tried. I just had to wait till the boys were 18 they were standing in Wyoming within a few weeks of turning 18 and we now have great relationships. The last 15 years have been great. I remember my daughter-in-law saying after one trip,to my oldest son that I was nothing like everyone said.

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