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Daughter in Law Issues
#13349014
11/21/19 09:29 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264
Pilothawk
OP
Pumpkin Head
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264 |
How many of you have gone thru mother in law vs daughter in law issues?
Too much drama around here. My sister’s daughter in law is a bona fide nutcase. She has denied access to the two grand babies for the last year. The two live four miles apart in this tiny town of 15,000. I have seen my great nieces twice this last year. I will not go to Christmas or Thanksgiving.
Ministers, counselors, lawyers...way, way too much drama.
For those who have been thru this...how did it resolve itself.
KANSAS JAYHAWK BASKETBALL - Where tradition comes from 2008 NATIONAL BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS-ORANGE BOWL CHAMPIONS 2008 52 Conf Champs /5 Nat'l Champs
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349022
11/21/19 09:39 PM
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 54,203
RayBob
Super Freak
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Super Freak
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 54,203 |
People are hateful and full of themselves. Good luck finding a solution.
Advice? Wise men don't need it. Fools won't heed it.
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349023
11/21/19 09:40 PM
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 41,135
Patriot Guard Rider
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 41,135 |
I can't help with this. I have the greatest DIL in the world!!!
Family is everything! Life is precious. We don’t have forever. We have now. This moment. We can choose to love our lives now.
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349025
11/21/19 09:40 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264
Pilothawk
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Pumpkin Head
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264 |
Those two girls are major factors in my decision to retire here. Now I don’t even see them.
KANSAS JAYHAWK BASKETBALL - Where tradition comes from 2008 NATIONAL BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS-ORANGE BOWL CHAMPIONS 2008 52 Conf Champs /5 Nat'l Champs
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349031
11/21/19 09:44 PM
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 54,203
RayBob
Super Freak
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Super Freak
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 54,203 |
Those two girls are major factors in my decision to retire here. Now I don’t even see them. Go speak with your heart laid bare to the psycho one. Shed some tears. Throw yourself at her feet and grovel. Tell us how it goes. I'm dead serious about this.
Advice? Wise men don't need it. Fools won't heed it.
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349032
11/21/19 09:47 PM
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 15,811
steveiam
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 15,811 |
We had it with an ex DIL- Divorce happened so we do t have to deal with her anymore- But as much as my wife tried she knew she held the cards (grandkids) Been many many years and the wife is on better terms with her now. Pretty sure I will never be- And it’s probably best-
What has happed to you does not define who you are-
HOW you react to what happens to you DOES!
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349033
11/21/19 09:49 PM
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 31,155
HasBen
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 31,155 |
Is the son still involved with the daughter in law? What is his position in all this?
"Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness."-Mark Twain
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349036
11/21/19 09:50 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264
Pilothawk
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Pumpkin Head
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264 |
My sister has shed so many tears. She is the only immediate family I have left. I’m a bit protective...it would not end well for me to be around the DIL.
KANSAS JAYHAWK BASKETBALL - Where tradition comes from 2008 NATIONAL BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS-ORANGE BOWL CHAMPIONS 2008 52 Conf Champs /5 Nat'l Champs
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: HasBen]
#13349037
11/21/19 09:52 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264
Pilothawk
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OP
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Is the son still involved with the daughter in law? What is his position in all this? Yes. He is trying to keep marriage together for sake of daughters. He is totally lacking a pair.
KANSAS JAYHAWK BASKETBALL - Where tradition comes from 2008 NATIONAL BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS-ORANGE BOWL CHAMPIONS 2008 52 Conf Champs /5 Nat'l Champs
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349038
11/21/19 09:55 PM
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 25,659
T Bird
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 25,659 |
Nothing stronger (good or bad) than family. Tough situation.
Okie by birth, Texan by choice. USAF "Thunderbirds" Alumni 1985-1989
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349046
11/21/19 10:02 PM
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 8,347
Jpurdue
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 8,347 |
I guess I'm a bit baffled here. As long as my life wasn't in danger, I could put up with any level of a crazy for a few hours to see my grandkids. Just nod and smile, who cares? I would do what I had to do to make the relationship right for the sake of the grandkids. They are only little once.
"Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley." -A.L. www.LunkerLore.com
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349052
11/21/19 10:11 PM
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 5,646
PondFish
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 5,646 |
Is the son still involved with the daughter in law? What is his position in all this? Yes. He is trying to keep marriage together for sake of daughters. He is totally lacking a pair. And there it is. She has the power as long as he foolishly thinks there is a chance, or thinks it is best for the children. The girls probably know the parents aren't happy and that toxicity can seep into them. You can't MAKE him divorce her but try to convince him. And have him fight for as much custody as possible, that's when her true colors will really show themselves. It will get ugly, probably very ugly before it can get any better. And also remember that in most States Grandparents don't have any legal rights or say so in these matters, just emotional attachments. .
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349057
11/21/19 10:19 PM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 32,919
Scagnetti
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 32,919 |
I was in a fellowship for many years and one of the areas we talked a lot about were personal relationship problems
I listened to literally hundreds of hours of people discussing candidly and honestly their relationship issues
I can tell you categorically, the most problematic relationships, bar none, were mother-daughter relationships. Rancorous, hostile, vengeful doesn’t even begin to describe the types of stuff I heard from the combatants.
Some of these relationships would eventually reach a tenuous ceasefire but others never healed
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Pilothawk]
#13349063
11/21/19 10:28 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 83,264
Pilothawk
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OP
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Posts: 83,264 |
My sister will do that. The issue is the irrational hatred DIL has for Sis.
She is the one who prevents family from seeing girls. She holds anger over minor issues that happened 15 years ago. Has panic attacks...
Here’s a simple example: Sis comments...” That’s a beautiful outfit. Where did you get it?”
That simple...commonplace question is taken as Sis suggesting she spends too much money on clothes.
Crazy...
Being around her is like having a claymore facing you at the dinner table.
KANSAS JAYHAWK BASKETBALL - Where tradition comes from 2008 NATIONAL BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS-ORANGE BOWL CHAMPIONS 2008 52 Conf Champs /5 Nat'l Champs
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Re: Daughter in Law Issues
[Re: Jpurdue]
#13349066
11/21/19 10:31 PM
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 15,458
921 Phoenix
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 15,458 |
I guess I'm a bit baffled here. As long as my life wasn't in danger, I could put up with any level of a crazy for a few hours to see my grandkids. Just nod and smile, who cares? I would do what I had to do to make the relationship right for the sake of the grandkids. They are only little once. I am not sure what he has done, but their are girls whom you cannot please no matter what and you just don’t get a choice. These are tough situations and most of the time if it ever does get fixed it’s usually time that does it and a close mouth on both sides to let it heal. I had a ex that nothing could be done. We never did fix it no matter what I tried. I just had to wait till the boys were 18 they were standing in Wyoming within a few weeks of turning 18 and we now have great relationships. The last 15 years have been great. I remember my daughter-in-law saying after one trip,to my oldest son that I was nothing like everyone said.
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