This tale starts when I told my wife I was going to do some work in the kitchen while she was shopping.

She said "Great, please do honey".

Notice I did not tell her that it was TO the kitchen but IN the kitchen. She went to the store and when she came home she found the kitchen table in the den and my motorcycle semi dissembled where it had been. (On cardboard, I am not a total savage!)

She cursed with her angelic voice! I exclaimed with feigned shock, hands clutched to my chest mockingly "Not in front of our baby boy!" (He is 21 in college) That made her madder for some reason. (Don't poke the bear)

"What the heck do you think you are you doing?" she said hands on hips, eyes slits of barely contained rage.

I retorted "I asked you if I could work in the kitchen and you said, Please do, so I did sweetie". I gave her my most innocent look.

I know I am in trouble when she points at me with two trembling fingers then uses my first and middle name, and then turns and walks away without saying anything else. (My mom used to do that when I was a kid, do they talk about this stuff on the phone when I am not around?)

Well I slept on the couch to pay my penance. But it was worth it. I worked on the bike in the comfort of my own house. It was cold last weekend dang-it! (I have a really comfy couch so it's no big a deal in the least........She thinks me having to sleep on the couch is punishment and as I play it up as the worst thing in the world! Smart huh?)

That said, never take marriage advice from me. I have been married 27 years to this blessedly forgiving beautiful woman but I am pretty sure sometimes she wants to stab me in the spleen with a meat thermometer, I love her so much.

Just thought I would share.

I bet some of you fellas have some stories too? How did you upset (piss off) your significant other the most. Was it worth it?

When did KJ change screen names?

In 1980 I brought home a new Yamaha 650 without her knowing about my proud purchase. She says �you�re taking it back aren�t you�. I said no I bought it. And that�s when the manure hit the fan.

I don't see the problem. Looks like a clean work space.


Did you tell her to bring you a sandwich while you were working?

I once built a doghouse in the living room. ApparentIy I miscalculated slightly and it would not fit through any door to the outside. Had to do some major modifications that took a lot of time and made quite a mess to correct. It sure was a nice doghouse in the end though. 4� insulated walls and floor, beautiful paneled interior, wired for electric heat, shingled removable roof for cleaning, epoxy coated floor and exterior. All that, and she got all pizzy because I had built it in the living room.

Whipped.

I concur.

I'd put my foot down and claim it's my house, I pay the bills. Only problem is she makes more then me.

You must be from Methlahoma�..

nice bike...

mine is in the beginning stages of "the change" Going home, waking up, shoot just walking in and out of the room is like playing Russian roulette. One minute I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, the next minute I'm toast. Just this morning she got pizzed because I didn't make enough noise walking up behind her in the kitchen, startled her. I almost got stabbed with her coffee spoon. Then I take out the kitchen trash and she raves on how great I am at taking care of everything. I gazed lovingly into her cold black eyes and said. "Babe, I lollerate you" Which is a new word I coined. It is love and tolerate combined.

I give you just the last two weeks of a long list of things that made her scowl.

Wifey went on a vacation with her best friend and when she returned home there was a used Ranger 518VX sitting in the drive. Her look and words were not normal for the woman I'd been married to the past 12 years.

We still talk about this moment in our marriage and laugh about the shock and awe when she pulled into the driveway.

Stay out of the kitchen unless you are a pro.

It's always better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission !!!