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Jan 23rd, 2013
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Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826143
07/12/18 09:28 PM
07/12/18 09:28 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 7,425
here
N
nethingthatbites Offline
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 7,425
here
Four Men go golfing, the first man says that he will pick up the green fees and meet the rest of them at the first hole.
Down at the first hole one man speaks up and say's "My son is so rich and so successful, as a new home builder that he gave a friend a new home for free"

The second man, not to be out done said " My son is a multi line car dealer he is so rich and so successful that he gave a friend 2 Cadillac's for free"

The third man, said " My son is in the stock market, he is so rich that he supplied a friend of his a whole stock portfolio for free"

The forth man returns from paying the green fee's, and the first man said "We are talking about our boys how's yours doing?"

"Not so well I afraid, turns out he's gay. However, he must be good, his last three boyfriends gave him a house, 2 cars and a stock portfolio."


MAGA
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Huckleberry] #12826146
07/12/18 09:29 PM
07/12/18 09:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
Cast Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
Originally Posted By: Huckleberry
Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it's over your head!


GroanGrin but heard it before.

Please try again.


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: nethingthatbites] #12826147
07/12/18 09:31 PM
07/12/18 09:31 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
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North Texas - God's Country
Originally Posted By: nethingthatbites
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"


EYEROLL

Please try again


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826150
07/12/18 09:33 PM
07/12/18 09:33 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 5,410
East Texas
U
UGLYSHCTICK Offline
TFF Celebrity
UGLYSHCTICK  Offline
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U

Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 5,410
East Texas
Man goes to fish the river for the first time. He's on the east bank. doesn't catch anything. Lil ol woman on the other side is hauling in one after another. He goes back the next day decides he'll go to the other side and try his luck. Same deal he's catching nothing. Same lil ol woman is on the other side hauling them in left and right. So he decides to make his way over to see what her secret is. She proceeds to tell him each morning before she gets up, she raises the bed sheet. If her husbands manhood is laying on the left, she fishes on the left side of the river. If its on laying to right, she fishes on the right side of the river. So the guy trying to be funny ask "well what do you if its sticking straight up?" she winks at him and says "honey, I don't go fishing on those days."



Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: nethingthatbites] #12826155
07/12/18 09:36 PM
07/12/18 09:36 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
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Originally Posted By: nethingthatbites
Four Men go golfing, the first man says that he will pick up the green fees and meet the rest of them at the first hole.
Down at the first hole one man speaks up and say's "My son is so rich and so successful, as a new home builder that he gave a friend a new home for free"

The second man, not to be out done said " My son is a multi line car dealer he is so rich and so successful that he gave a friend 2 Cadillac's for free"

The third man, said " My son is in the stock market, he is so rich that he supplied a friend of his a whole stock portfolio for free"

The forth man returns from paying the green fee's, and the first man said "We are talking about our boys how's yours doing?"

"Not so well I afraid, turns out he's gay. However, he must be good, his last three boyfriends gave him a house, 2 cars and a stock portfolio."


I actually snorted.

A+


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826160
07/12/18 09:39 PM
07/12/18 09:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 100
TX Panhandle/Fritch
F
Flymeister Offline
Outdoorsman
Flymeister  Offline
Outdoorsman
F

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 100
TX Panhandle/Fritch
A father was walking his young son through the park when the boy notice two dogs engaged in sexual activity. The boy asked, “daddy what are they doing”? The dad promptly replied, “well son, they’re making puppies”…and the walk continued.

Unable to fall asleep that night, the boy wandered into dad and mom’s bedroom and they were engaged in sexual activity. “Mommy, daddy…what are you doing” yelled the boy. Mom says, “well son, we’re making you a brother or a sister” and the boy promptly replied, “flip mommy over daddy, I’d rather have a puppy”!

Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826166
07/12/18 09:44 PM
07/12/18 09:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,210
lake bridgeport,tx USA
B
BridgeportGuide Offline
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B

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,210
lake bridgeport,tx USA
A three legged dog walks into a Saloon. The barkeep asks him

"What are you doing in these parts stranger?"

The dog replies "I'm lookin for the man that shot my Paw"

Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826168
07/12/18 09:46 PM
07/12/18 09:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,210
lake bridgeport,tx USA
B
BridgeportGuide Offline
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BridgeportGuide  Offline
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B

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,210
lake bridgeport,tx USA
What do you call a Little Person Psychic who just committed a crime?

A Small Medium at Large

Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: nethingthatbites] #12826180
07/12/18 09:58 PM
07/12/18 09:58 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
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Originally Posted By: nethingthatbites
How many used car salesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

I can't say for certain until I've spoken to the manager, but I
think you'll be very happy...


No


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: nethingthatbites] #12826194
07/12/18 10:05 PM
07/12/18 10:05 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
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Originally Posted By: nethingthatbites
A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older.

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."


Ok

A+


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: BridgeportGuide] #12826199
07/12/18 10:07 PM
07/12/18 10:07 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
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Originally Posted By: BridgeportGuide
What do you call a Little Person Psychic who just committed a crime?

A Small Medium at Large


No

Please try again


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: BridgeportGuide] #12826202
07/12/18 10:15 PM
07/12/18 10:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,678
North Texas - God's Country
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Originally Posted By: BridgeportGuide
A three legged dog walks into a Saloon. The barkeep asks him

"What are you doing in these parts stranger?"

The dog replies "I'm lookin for the man that shot my Paw"


Ok. Dog joke!

A+


Cast




I have a short attention spa
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826224
07/12/18 10:29 PM
07/12/18 10:29 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 7,214
Deep in the Heart of Texas
T
Texan Til I Die Offline
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


“If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.” - Samuel Adams
Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826227
07/12/18 10:33 PM
07/12/18 10:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,555
Richardson, TX
V
von rage Offline
Extreme Angler
von rage  Offline
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V

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,555
Richardson, TX
You heard about the insomniac agnostic dyslexic. He lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Re: Ok, I’ve had quite enough! [Re: Cast] #12826234
07/12/18 10:37 PM
07/12/18 10:37 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,535
Carrollton
S
SlabWhisperer Offline
Extreme Angler
SlabWhisperer  Offline
Extreme Angler
S

Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,535
Carrollton
A hillbilly in West Virginia gets a letter saying he needs to come to New York City, to a Legal firm, to sign some papers to receive an unexpected inheritance.
As he was leaving, his next door neighbor, an
elderly woman inquires as to where he is going.
He tells her, and she says, I have a son in NYC, and I haven't heard from him in a long time.
So, if you run into him, please ask him to call me. His name is John Dunn.
He assured her that he would.
After arriving in NYC, he took the subway downtown near to the Lawyers office he was to go to.
When coming up the stairs to ground level he noticed a large sign on the building across the street that said Dunn & Bradstreet.
So, he went into the building and up to the information desk and inquired, "You got a John here"?
The receptionist replied "Yes Sir", and pointing down the hallway, said "second door on the right."
So, the hillbilly goes there, and upon entering, notices that it's a Men's restroom.
There is a gentleman standing in front of one of the urinals, so he walks up to him and inquires, "Are you Dunn?"
The man replies, "Well, yeah"
And the hillbilly says "Call your Mother!"

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