We recently purchased our home in Caddo Mills, Texas. The soil is the crummy north texas black, that is snotty slime when wet and unfortunately has cracks large enough to loose a small child in when exceptionally dry (like this last month). This house was built in 2005, and it seems the previous owner/s never made any attempts to smooth out the rough yard/pasture.

I dont intend on doing the entire 3 acres, but I WOULD like to smooth out the terrain closer to the house, and eventually install a good lawn for the kids/dog to romp around in. How in the WORLD can I get it smoothed out? It has holes, cracks, dips... bumpy as all get out on the mower... like rattle bolts loose bumpy. To add to the bumpy, is the fact that nearly all the "lawn" is crabgrass clumps....

I have no clue where to start or what to do. I just want to be able to mow with my rider and not need a new kidney.

Any thoughts?

Go rent a bobcat. and smooth it out. Sow winter rye when finished. You might consider bringing in some soil and leveling the lawn around the house. Its whatever is in you budget. FYI i would serious consider putting a drip system around the foundation. Here is a video on how it works I will give you all the advice you need to do it your self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-hnU-pejcI&feature=youtu.be

Till in lots and lots of sand with that clay soil. Afterwards you want to bring in some top soil for the area to be considered yard.

On that Bobcat add a tiller attachment and blend in a sandy loam or compost.

If you don�t want to go that step, than just rent it with a soil conditioner or soil rake. That will allow you to smooth everything out.

Might try lime to bust up that clay.

awesome. Thanks, guys. I Wasn't sure if I'd need to add sand or anything along those lines. I'm intending on saving up to do it right so I can have a great front lawn and immediate back lawn. I'll leave the back of the pasture as is, would be a bit to daunting to re do all that.

Once leveled, prepped with sand/top soil.. should I sod or seed? Any preference from you who have experience?

hydro mulch . After you have a way to water it. Dont get the wagon ahead of the horse. Plan out what you want than send me a pm and i will get you pointed in the right direction and help along the way. It is easy to do it right with a plan. Flower beds trees, foundation drip, the whole thing. Baby Steps.

All these suggestions are exactly the route you want to take. Like Bruce said "plan" your steps and the end product will be what you initially thought. Spend a couple years doing this unless you have some serious cash set back.

1. Irrigation and drip system installed
2. Soil prep and conditioned
3. Sod and seed

I would think about sod around the homes exterior out about 30 feet and seed the remainder.

I've seen homeowners till up the area close to their home, condition the soil and lay sod, leaving the remaining outer area natural. The only issue is the natural area will always blow seeds back on the sodded area. Pre-emergent and fertilizer must be on a schedule to prevent the natural seeds from taking over.

I grew up in that black soil east of Waco. Leveling will work for a while, but after a year or two of expanding and contracting, it will revert back to it's natural uneven state. If you have any prairies in the area (ones that have never been plowed) take a look at the them and how uneven and warped the surface is. That's just what black dirt does.

will the shifting soil eventually break/crack pipes that are installed for irrigation purposes? Im totally new at the homeowner gig, so I apologize if these questions seem silly.

It can. We usually see a rash of service calls right after a 2-3 week dry spell. However, for the most part it really takes a good amount of movement to affect plumbing. Typically its fittings that come apart that weren't properly solvent welded (glued) to begin with.

These blacklands are mostly limestone, so no lime is neededfor sure. They are exceptionally high in clay, a type that has extrordinarily hih shrink swell characteristics so youcan level, but as someone mentioned the uneveness will come back. Probably the best treament is the incorporation oforganic matter. If there is sewage treament plant close by thatcompst sewage sludge, that is great option.