Spanking Harms Children

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati...ays/1889588002/

I spank, slap, thump, whip, cuss at, pinch etc my children. I grew up with far worse including abuse.

I had a conversation with my oldest (14) and asked her if every time you did something to get in trouble and the only punishment you ever received was sitting in time out how would you feel? Her response was I'd probably keep doing the things I get in trouble for because I know if I get caught I just get time out...

I strongly disagree with the experts. I think this is what's wrong with kids the last 30 years.

What's the OT view on punishing kids?

I say depends on the kids. My oldest it doesn�t work on. Instead if you tell her she can�t play outside after school it really gets her attention. My middle child responds better to a spanking.

Spanking is good. Look at today's kids and look at kids 50 years ago. Spanking sure kelp me in line.... most of the time.

On the news last night they said, "Studies show kids who are consistently spanked have developmental issues with their brains." The devil lies in the details here. "Consistently." What's that mean? Yeah, if you whoop your kid every day I'm sure that could cause problems. If you use spankings as an occasional tool to influence behavior in the right way at the right times, I firmly believe it has its benefits.

What about throwing them on ground and kicking them in head?

It depends on the kid

Myself for example deserved every *** whooping I got. My son was never spanked by me. He seemed to respond better to explaining why what he did was a stupid ******* idea.

Depends on the kid and the situation.

Tasers-proper parenting through electricity

Our rule was only spanking on the bottom with open hand, I told my wife if she ever did otherwise she was over the line. Secondly no idol threats, if I got to ten there was a spanking.

I maybe spanked my girls 5 times each max in their whole childhood.

My oldest has never had a spanking...great kid, learns from his mistakes, feels bad just doing the wrong thing. Punishment isn't even really needed.

My youngest has to be whooped, yelled at, toys taken away, etc. Will take on anyone, anytime, anywhere, and will not admit guilt or fault.

My kids have been known to get a spanking. Before and after they get the spanking we make sure to discuss with them, their actions, and the consequences of their actions. I can honestly say I HATE to spank my kids but discipline is necessary.

That sounds like very good parenting IMO

A pop in the mouth every once in a while kept me in check but had no effect on brother. So I guess it varies.

You should never make them eat grass though...I still think about that story and it pisses me off. Sorry that happened.

I don�t know the correct answer, but I do know that I developed a deep loathing of willow switches.

Nose in the corner and freedom deficit worked great for my dtr. I would've spanked if needed.

everyone needs a good beating every now and then

I believe spanking helps make brain connections between poor behavior and consequences.

X...10.....

Use the rod, beat the child.
Or something like that.

The problem with these new "studies" is that is takes many decades to see the ultimate correlation.. and if they are wrong the consequence is we have allow numerous generations to not have any kind of ground in right/wrong. This unfortunately take a toll on society and the criminal justice system and tax payers wind up paying the price.

I was spanked when it was deserved and even one time my Dad pretty much gave me a face slap with a 1/4 slat. Looking back it pizzed me off but I deserved it and made me learn actions have consequences and I fully think made me a better person.

I agree with the experts. Spanking is a reflection of the parents inability to parent for the most part. I think we may have spanked one of our two kids once and then it was a moment of anger rather than a good decision. The trick is to teach them to want to do the right thing. And the trick is a little different with each one. My wife was especially good at it. Incidentally, the two kids turned out great, each of them with three kids, none of which were spanked and all are great kids, excellent students and will all be college educated professionals that worked their way through school.

I got spanked once in grade school
My Dad spanked me one
Mom got both of us in the back seat of her car and switched us with a maple tree switch.

It was not the spanking that hurt as much as disappointing Mom or Dad

Mostly it was the disapproving looks of my parents that kept me in line

My parents were spanked by their parents when it was needed. They spanked me when it was needed. I spanked mine when it was needed.

There is a BIG difference in a spanking for discipline and a beating for damn near anything the kid does.

I don't do it. special situation for me though.

My kids probably average about 1 spanking per year. It's primarily useful when they are willfully making wrong choices after they've been warned and are having an emotional melt down. A quick swat on the butt seems to reset their physiology. I've never once done it out of anger, and it's worked well as far as I can tell. (still early). I think there's probably a pretty narrow age window where it's useful well. Maybe ages 3-8 something like that. Any younger and they are too young to understand. Any older and there are probably more effective strategies.

Your Mom spanked you and your Dad in the back seat of the car?

Bruh...

This explains a lot of things.

My brother and I were fighting in the back seat. One of us kicked her in the head accidently. She stopped the car, broke off a switch, and let us both have. Was no way to duck that switch in the back of the car.

I think that was what started me thinking about the reactions to my actions. Once you start seeing the consequences it affects your actions.

I got whipped by everything from extension cords to close hangers. And yes I'm fairly effed up.

Also raised 2 girls, ones 22 and the other 16 and both are really good kids. We spanked out of anger sometimes, not often, but it did happen.

I think the most important part is what you said about talking. We always have had an open line of communication about everything. Probably to a fault. However our kids know that they can trust us and we will do our best to make a sound decision about pretty much anything. They would come to us even when they make a major mistake. That says a lot. In my opinion.

My parents hid everything from us. Didn't want us to know? Or didn't think we were old enough to understand. I wish that would have been different.

This. And, some kids just don't respond to spanking. So it's really a case-by-case thing.

I have no problem with smacking a kids hand when they're reaching for something they're not supposed to touch. Likewise, a couple whacks on the rear end isn't going to do horrible harm. But if you're leaving welts and bruises, then you're doing it wrong. And, in most cases, spanking stops being effective at around 5-7 years old.

My grown kids still flinch if they see me with a wooden spoon.

Spanked my son several times, talking to him didn't help, daughter just threatening worked. My father only whipped me 2 times that I can remember, my mother on the other hand found something to wear me out, seems like daily, until I was 14-15. She never did it with anger but plenty of power. She never made an empty threat, if she said when we get home you are getting a spanking it happened, even if you ran off and didn't come in for several hours. When you walked through the door she was waiting for you. I never heard "wait till your dad comes home", she took care of business. My brother said he learned a lot what not to do watching me. A green cotton stalk will wrap around you like a bull whip is one thing that I will remember until I die. She made a big impression on me.

Corporal punishment has always had a place in child raising. Always will.
Some children wont behave any other way. Depends on the child and whether or not they will listen and obey when told.

My dad had the "STARE" it was enough for me. I didn't have to spank mine because I learned the"STARE" and I told them I brought you in I can take you out. They believed me cause I have always been a man of my word.

My mom couldn't control me so she just left.

Got whooped with whatever mom could reach. Dad always opened handed. Talks before and after . Smacked on the lips for talking back . ( not like a backhand or anything just a pop to get your attention)
I discipline her the same it�s getting to the point where she will not act fool . And if she does it�s only around her momma . But we don�t have to discipline her much . And I won�t whoop in anger Momma usually jumps in before that happens or i will hand her over to her mother and give her the look lol

Mine got spanked on occasion depending on what they did. Time out in the BLUE chair, removal of game boy, movies and other things used also.
That said we were at a birthday party at MickyD's and they started getting rowdy and I snapped my fingers and gave them the look. They settled down but still played with the others. I was asked how I did that, I told them we have rules that are enforced and have been since they were small. They were never beaten and always had an explanation of why they were punished. All 3 have college degrees and have never been arrested and are working tax paying adults now.

They had several friends in school that never got called down and did anything they wanted. Several of them are in prison or 6' below ground due to their bad decisions. Not saying it cures all but it sure lets kids know there are consequences for not following the rules.

Now young men testing there fathers is another story ... I think there should be some kind of clause in the law for that one lol

New parent here, but between me and my brother it depended on the kid which worked. I got spanked, my brother could not stand sitting or losing privileges.

You don't train dogs with pain and slapping.
The same with folks. Instead of making choices based on future pain, I would think they would more likely make decisions based on right or wrong if they were given discipline other than hitting them.

Anyone else seeing a pattern here?

What about waterboarding?

my dad believed in timeout.... he took timeout of his day to whoop my ARS when I needed it.

Yes, you do train dogs with the "threat of pain" - or at least the sound of it (I use a piece of auto door seal-- a lot of noise, but not much sting....

I also train horses, same deal, you use the threat of "pain" to train them, otherwise, they will take over the leadership position...

Now, having said that, you do as little as you have to, but as MUCH and you NEED to...and, the "punishment" is ALWAYS followed with a "release of pressure" when they do it correct...

Hence - pressure (sometimes a swat or the threat of it) is used to move them to the "release" when they do it correctly

have you ever seen another dog "threaten" a dog entering their space with a "timeout", or a "stern talking to" - NO, or do they bare their teeth/low growl/louder growl...etc...

Same with horses, cows, and ALL other animals, including us...

Absolutely

I give them 2 options. The belt. Or go pick your switch.

I'm sure it works better on some than others. Myself and my sister got it as kids, my kid has had like 4 in his 15 years I believe, none of us are "harmed".

for sure.

You really can�t tell how well disipline works until
The kid is 16 when they get the freedom of a car. I can tell you it works.

I was spanked growing up, but never beaten. I spank my oldest (about to be 7) from time to time. He is very strong willed like is mother, but I do explain to him why he is getting spanked or got spanked. Another thing that works really well for him is "the dad voice" once I reach a certain tone and loudness, he quickly realizes the fun is over.

Yeah. Depends on the kid. If you raise a mommy's boy then timeout might make him cry and wear a dress to the prom.

If you end up with a manchild then good luck with timeout. Timeout is simply jail sentences without Bubba for kids.

Leaves detectible bruises. You have to punish them psychologically not physically. Like pour gasoline on them and chase them around with a lighter. You don't physically hurt them (well maybe some light chemical skin burns) but it will sure teach them a lesson!

I remember one of my worst whoopin's. The preacher's sermon was going WAY long. I had just got a new watch for Christmas. I leaned out of the pew into the main aisle and started tapping that watch while staring the preacher down. My dad saw, and that did not go over well!

You may have gotten a whoopin' but your parents laughed later.

Kids do the darndest things

I've never had children...simply did not meet the right girl.

Therefore, I've been denied the pleasure of beating kids.

I feel cheated...feels like I've been sitting for years in a "timeout."

...-------

they absolutely did!

yea sounds like the next step for the OP. russia welcomes them.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't beat my kids more.

From what you see on TV, hear about on here and from school teachers working and retired we have a generation that has no discipline and not much of a sense of right and wrong. They have been coddled and given trophies just for showing up and now when the police pull them over they want to fight. They don't understand authority as most were never disciplined at home and the schools have their hands tied with mommies little angles. And there is a big difference in spanking and beating.
just my 2 cents worth.

Man my folks used to whoop my [censored], and my friends [censored] too!

It was not the spanking that hurt as much as disappointing Mom or Dad

Mostly it was the disapproving looks of my parents that kept me in line [/quote]
Pretty much nailed it right there.

I did that. Once.

I worked for my dad. He was president of a company and gave me a cushy part time job when I was in high school. One day, I didn�t feel like working. So I didn�t go in. I let a lot of folks down. He told me in very short terms to get my [censored] down there and do my job. I said no. He walked me out to my car and off I went. When I got there, I told the others there I wasn�t doing sqwat. They called my dad and he was there pretty quick. He came up to me and said for me to get to work. I said no. He said get to work. I said down here, you ain�t my dad, you�re just my boss and I quit. He hit me square in the jaw, and I dropped like a rag doll. He said no matter where we were, he was my dad...and he will never tell me to do something twice, ever again. I was crying and all I could say was yes sir....and got my [censored] to working.

My dad went too far. And often. I got some whippings that were punishment for things I did, that I deserved, but mainly he was just raging and used a minor screw up as an excuse to unload on a defenseless kid. Loved us, but went way too far. My two siblings and I almost never spanked our kids. Too many horrific memories to be honest. Same with verbal abuse. I have a decent relationship with my dad now, he�s very old and frail, but as a parent I still can�t believe the horrible things he said to us on a regular basis. Man, I wish I had not opened this thread. Oh well. But he chilled as he got into his forties and things got better. My mom was great and was the glue that held the family together. Without her I don�t think we would have had a relationship with him after leaving the house. Anyway, I avoid the physical discipline as much as possible. I�ve been on the end of the bad stuff and I can�t bring myself to physically hurt my kids. Just can�t do it. Thankfully they are developing and have developed, one is a full grown man, into good people and I�ve had no trouble with them. I don�t tolerate any [censored], but just can�t use the physical stuff.

Wait. With shoes or just socks or bare feet? Could you substitute an axe kick?

I have messed up a lot throughout my life. So I give myself a good spanking every now and then.

I spank the wife once in a while. Never spanked a monkey though.

I got lots of spankings from my dad and it didn't matter were we were,if I needed a spanking I got one. Oh and if someone tried to stop my dad .... well you were next

Got spankings from Mom, Dad and Older Sister. All were deserved and all hurt except one. Sister administered the one that didnt hurt, just made me mad. When she walked by I slapped her butt. I've never hit a woman since, my sister taught me a lesson I will never forget.

My oldest got 1 or 2, my youngest got 3 or 4.
As a kid, I probably developed callouses on my buttt.

Discipline and love

I was afraid of my dad more than anything else , I was always testing His Rules , too Hard Headed , got lots of attitude adjustments , caused a lot of problems with authorities when I was young . My brothers and sister did not require so much attention like I got . All anyone would have to say is going to tell your dad , I would straighten up . Some children need a hard line others do not .

In the end it should really be the parents choice and responsibilities to discipline the child however they see fit
Or what the child responds best to.

I always thought my Dad was full of [censored] when he said spanking me hurt him worse than it hurt me. I popped my 1 year old son on the butt for the first time the other night and the look on his face just about crushed me! I just turned and looked away. Luckily, he just quit what he was doing and went about his playing.

I think the old adage "spare the rod and spoil the child" certainly applies to some children...as a parent of three children,my kids are probably an example of another adage "most children turn out ok in spite of their raising".....
managed malls for many years prior to retiring and a large percentage of the kids we had problems with had older parents or came from single parent homes....

What do you think shock collars do to dogs when they train them? I have never used one to train one of our pups, but it does teach the pup if you do the wrong thing, the pup is not going to like the consequence.

My mother was mentally ill and out of control. My sister and I hid all the leather belts and she spanked up with one of her plastic belts. We wailed and carried on into the pillow on the bed when she whipped us. Her big thing was to slap you in the face which is why I always said I loved my mother but did not respect her. You do not slap anyone in the face period.

Sicking a pitbull on them has proven more effective.

Proverbs 23: 13-14

I took some serious butt whoopin's when I was young. Really resented them, but even then I knew I earned them. Now, I look back and am grateful for them because I firmly believe I was headed for jail at sometime in the future if I wouldn't have wised up to what the folks were telling me.

Yes, spank them if they need it, you are there to be their parent, not their bestest friend. They have tons of those.

I'm a gringo and I know the la chancla

Well said

Timeout isn't the only alternative, I've delved out pushups, yard work, and even assigned an essay as punishment. Denial of all forms of entertainment except school books for a few days usually works around my house though.

Doesn�t work I�ve tried

Whipping, slapping, and beating a kid are way above and beyond spanking for discipline. I agree that the former is not ok.

And I'm sorry that you and your sister had to endure that.

My favorite punishment for my kids was to send them to the patio to pull grass an weeds growing between the pavestones until they reached whatever quota I had set. More productive than just a timeout.

Plus #1.

Just put down carpet this weekend. Those tack strips for the transition pieces? My God, why didn�t I know about those 15 years ago.