I�m a worker�s comp liability

So the band was asked to play at the district teacher convocation today. We were on the gym floor, so the band just stood like we always do to play. I was standing on a chair directing, so the band could see me, when a lady from our benefits department walks up to me across the gym floor and tells me that I�m not allowed to stand on a chair because it�s a worker�s comp liability. Made me do the rest of the performance from the ground where the kids couldn�t see me. Mind you, we have 214 kids in our band. They don�t seem to have a problem when we are trying to balance on a stadium bench though.

you should have smacked her with your wizard wand.

Get one of those ladder platform things, we're not allowed to stand on chairs either in our workplace.

Yep.
Got to get a platform.
Standing on a chair is a no no.
That lady should have complained to the principal.

Or called the police.

This.

That too.
We can't have band directors playing fast and loose with the rules.
It could lead to chaos.

I got a milk crate you can have.

Learn to walk on stilts, that'll show em who's boss!

Should have been a citizen�s arrest.

She came up to you while you were directing? Amid a music piece?

Get you a set of these to stand tall with!!

https://www.digilegs.com/

Or called OSHA . . . . .

I wouldve fell on purpose getting off the chair then blamed her

That�s going on your permanent record young man!

I'd love to play in that band.

That is a OSHA violation, you would be removed from our job site!

D-Hall

Band director is trying to shift the blame for doing something that he should have known not to do.

You should get the guys in metal shop to make you a portable riser that looks just like a chair for these occasions.

You should have cried and told her it was your safe place.And she was being mean to you.

Does 'Stand Your Ground' rules apply here?

Reminded me of Roy D. Mercer, the Bleeder of the Band.

You need to make your band play protest songs like �We not going to take it anymore (Twisted Sister)� from Twisted Sister at the first football game. You will need to be standing on a chair on the 50 yard line directing them though.

Yep

Please don�t take offense to this. I have questions....

You are a conductor, correct? You are the guys who moves his arms and hands around while the band plays? I was just talking about this to a group of people and we were all asking....�what are you doing? Why are you there? Then we asked each other....without said conductor, can the band play?

So when you had to get off the chair and the band couldn�t see you......was the show over? Was the band still able to perform when they couldn�t see you?

I�m not downplaying what you do or the purpose of a conductor, I just can�t figure it out. I�ve never been in a choir, band so I just don�t know. Educate me.

They keep the tempo among other things.

The benefits rep was correct in pointing out your workplace safety violation. Having said that, you must take immediate action to tamp down HR intrusion, or it will only get far, far worse. I suggest stealing one of her tires and leave the car resting on the chair. The HR department must be contained or chaos will ensue.

For the next performance you should show up with a huge riser that can elevate you to the ceiling and spins 360 degrees in all directions just like Tommy Lee's drum kit.

It would be awesome!

This is truly the only way to end this overreach.

I�m no band or orchestra expert but I believe the job of the conductor is to tell which sections/instruments to play louder, quieter, faster, slower, etc. for the best sound quality and performance.

Borrow this from drunk Steve.

Dang that was funny!

Keep tempo, cue, adjust dynamics/style, cutoff, show band when to breathe together. Next time you watch a conductor, watch very closely. Imagine an invisible ball floating in the air just in front of their sternum. That is called the ictus. It is where the �beat� happens. A good director hits the same spot in the air every time to give the band a consistent place to visually see where the beat is. No matter how fast/slow you go, the ictus stays constant. The director also shows the band WHICH beat they are on. In 4/4 time there are 4 beats per measure. In 3/4 there are 3 beats per measure and so on. Each time signature has a specific pattern which tells the band where in the measure they are. Think- Down, Right, left, up or in college we say Floor, door, window, ceiling. This is imortant so if anyone gets lost, they can find where beat 1 is the next measure and get back on.

By being at ground level instead of above the band, my ictus has to shift waaaay up near head level because my hands had to be high enough for them to see. This doesn�t seem like a big deal to anyone watching, but it really rattles the kids when they�ve seen it one way in rehearsal a hundred times and now in a performance, everything looks totally different (or they can�t see you at all).

We actually used one of those for years until they agreed to build us a tower. It beeps at you when the wind blows hard and it thinks it�s gonna tip over.

You should have pointed your finger at her and sternly shouted " No pickles for you" That would have learnt her.

Jaap van Zweden has nothing on you. You sir are Texas #1 Maestro.

Okay! I'll look for it next time. Thanks for the explanation.

My ictus itches

Someone turning you in for standing on a chair should be the least of your worries .My best friend Who has worked at the same school for 10 years just lost his job and reputation from accusations from a student. No proof just accusations. I would never work in a school system, especially in a small town .

It is quite simple, His wizard wand makes the music, with it, he controls the people in the band.