The 407 Book

Page 16. I prescreened this one earlier in person

The redneck couple was overjoyed when, after a very long wait, the adoption agency called and told them they had a wonderful new Japanese baby for them to adopt.

They took off immediately and picked him up. On the way back. They stopped at the community college to sign up for a night course. As they were leaving, the counselor asked why they wanted to study Japanese.

The new father said proudly ‘Well, in a year or so our new son will begin to speak and we want to be able to understand him.’

I'm gonna go B+ just because i personally saw you comb through about 30 pages to find that one

you worked hard for that one!

Page 17...

It occurred to me that I hadn’t seen the neighbor lady in a long while. She was getting along in years, I was a little worried.

I hollered for the boy.

Son, would you go next door and see how old Mrs Simpson is please?

He returned a few minutes later.

Well, is she alright?

Yeah, but she’s a little upset with you!

Why?

She said it’s none of your bidness how old she is!

Enjoy these. They only get worse.

1shot, what have you done?!

I've created a monster

You’ve just given an 8 ball to a crackhead.

Blonde goes in a pet store.

I would like some bird seed please.

What kind ma’am?

Oh... I don’t know... whichever one grows the fastest I guess.

Just remember how bad they were before the book!

Dam this book!

It was a beautiful evening in the Hill Country so a couple of goats decided to take a stroll to the local wrecking yard where they managed to eat themselves into a food coma.

The old German farmer was quite upset when he found two goats were gone. He looked and looked until he finally found them.

‘Vat have you idiots eaten now?

The big goat moaned and rolled over.

Vell, I think...

Yah, I remember. It vas a Ford V-8.

Lord help us!
Thanks a lot Zach!

A Ford, that's an $85,000 meal.

Guys, calm down.

He will eventually run out of material ....

there's only 997 jokes left in that book.

Yeah, but I bet there is discounts at the end to order additional books!

Let him be, it’s not like he’s playing with matches with the gas stove turned on

This is harmless fun

A goat cannot digest a Ford...but you can recycle them into Natty Light cans.

Cast, is it possible that you actually wrote this book and just don't remember

Maybe my evil twin...

I woke up this morning feeling kinda funky, so I mixed up some milk of magnesia and some fresh squeezed orange juice and had myself a Phillips Screwdriver.

Ok I feel better now...