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#9425718 - 10/24/13 07:01 AM Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site)
ring fry Offline
TFF Team Angler

Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 4905
Loc: Fort Scott, Ks.

Affordable Boat Care Act

I'm ordering a new one today!!

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.
In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you cant). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat. Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.


SE Kansas grass grower
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2008 NCAA Mens Basketball Champions
GO JAYHAWKS


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#9425721 - 10/24/13 07:04 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: ring fry]
Mudshark Offline
TFF Guru

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 20210
Loc: Midlothian, TX
cheers
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#9425882 - 10/24/13 08:22 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: ring fry]
GarySHO Offline
TFF Celebrity

Registered: 07/23/10
Posts: 9392
Loc: Haworth, Ok
clap
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A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of the user- Theodore Roosevelt

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#9425893 - 10/24/13 08:25 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: ring fry]
Zeek the Greek Offline


Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 10584
Loc: Lewisville
cheer
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If I was a fairy, I'd be the Bacon Fairy. Then I'd fly around and smack people upside the head with Bacon-y goodness and I'd get away with it because IT'S BACON!

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#9426055 - 10/24/13 09:16 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: ring fry]
LakeLass Offline
TFF Team Angler

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 4890
Loc: Las Colinas, TX
i'm native american

i'm exempt
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#9426196 - 10/24/13 09:54 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: ring fry]
Arkansas10 bass Offline
Pro Angler

Registered: 12/10/06
Posts: 726
Loc: Lake Conway,Faulkner county,Ar...
Does that apply to submarines because I got a hankering for a sub now.

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#9426202 - 10/24/13 09:56 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: ring fry]
Moto-Moto Offline
TFF Celebrity

Registered: 04/25/09
Posts: 8682
Loc: Krum, TX
Sweet now poor people still can't afford them and those that can get screwed....I like it!
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#9426215 - 10/24/13 10:00 AM Re: Affordable Boat Act (plagerized from another site) [Re: Arkansas10 bass]
LakeLass Offline
TFF Team Angler

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 4890
Loc: Las Colinas, TX
Originally Posted By: Arkansas10 bass
Does that apply to submarines because I got a hankering for a sub now.


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