I'm having to go to a parenting class with the ex starting on Monday. A $750 dollar parenting class! This makes no sense... we were supposed to have done this by Oct 25th and neither one of us signed up. Of course the divorce is over with now and the ex has signed up for this and I'm being told it is against a court order if I don't go but its in the papers that we had 90 days after July 25th to go and do it.. I don't get it but it aint worth going back to court over and possibly being arrested. I'm so sick of this carp! Ive never felt stress like I do these days... I physically got sick the other day at work because I got so worked up over her pulling stunts... I don't know how people deal with this..

I'm done for now.....

sounds like you need to get on the water!

I've never had to go thru one of these so I don't really know what the class is intended to teach you and your ex, but maybe it's not about you two, but the kids.

its a co-parenting class...

Should have to take a class first to get married or have kids.

It won't end until your kids graduate from high school and your child support ends. Do your level best to get along and DO NOT alienate your kid(s). It's the kids you need to concentrate on, not your x.

Hang in there Louie. After 10 years mine finally let up. Of course, the kids are BOTH fed up with her caca and living with me now. The best way to beat her is to not play her games. My ex went around for the first eight or nine years telling anybody who'd listen how sorry I was. People kept telling her that this vile beast of a man she was talking about wasn't the Chad that they knew and she fiiiiiiinally stopped trashing me, though she still blames me for any and everything wrong with her life. She goes . Believe me man, her uppance has come.

It isn't like you didn't know you had to do it. Just because she hadn't lived up to the court order shouldn't have stopped you from doing so.

I don't see what the issue is about going? You may learn something useful, you comply with a court order and you get one notch closer to fulfilling all obligations you have to complete for full compliance of your divorce decree.

It's all a win and that makes you sick?

This was in our mediated agreement and was all her idea. we had 90 days after the 25th of July. I called the Dr to see if the ex had signed up for it and she hadn't. This was right before it expired. at this point it wasn't a court order. I chose not to sign up for it so I wouldn't be wasting my 750 bucks. I can't go to the class alone, we both have to go. Either way the time limit expired. The judge didn't sign the order/decree till 11-15, 21 days after it expired. It says the same thing in the decree about the 90 days after the july 25th date. I don't think I would be in violation of a court order since it was already expired when the judge signed it but I dont want to chance it. I'm aggravated that all of a sudden out of the blue she wants to do this class....shes impossible to talk to or to get along with as Ive tried for years... This class will more than likely be a waste of time. My son is being taken care of perfectly fine at this point and isn't being alienated. I just don't think 2 folks can "co-parent" very successfully without communicating...

This is true... nor can they normally parent or anything else for that matter...

sometimes i wonder how 2 people get married in the first place...

lust is a biatch!

Lil Louie, it will never be over as long as you have kids together. My ex kept trying to manipulate my life thru my son even after my son was 18 and until he, the ex, passed in 2005.

I just kept biting my tongue to make sure I never said anything bad about his dad. I just hate ex's, man or woman, who tell their child what a sorry person their parent is. Kids are smart and will figure it out for themselves.

That. Be the better man Louie. Remember a basic computer term and apply it to parenting - garbage in, garbage out.

I keep waiting for the day my son figures it out... specially about all the lies and cheating and lots of other things done on her part. I'm no angel but I'm a decent person. I guess I just thought this would be over with once it was final and it has just been a nightmare... Hard to move forward... Maybe this will be it... I'm trying to stay positive. Its tough when you know the person you are dealing with isn't going to change. Thats about the only thing Ive learned thru my whole 8 yrs of being married and 2 yrs going thru a divorce and fighting for custody is that folks, no matter how sorry they are, don't change. The only thing I am looking forward to about this class is getting up there in front of a whole bunch of people and letting the truth come flying out of my mouth.... Just like Jack Nicholson said, she can't handle the truth!

I feel your pain and anger...... I went through the same with my x-wife. I don't need to pay "x" amount to a stupid azz class to tell me I'm a good parent or be evaluated about it.

Best advise I can give is...... Bite your tongue, go to the class and be the better person.

You really need help

Man Lil Louie if you ever need to speak to someone who knows exactly what you are going through give me a hollar. Vent all you want and I will listen. The only difference for me is throw in a crappy step father who is doing drugs in front of my daughter and bingo we are in the same boat. Yes I called cps but my ex knows the cps agents since she has a BS gov job of teaching people how to put a car seat in a car. The cps actually heard from my daughter that she wants to live with my family here in Texas. The cps agent actually said the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I lost 7lbs in about 3 days from my heart rate going up. Yep my ex wont speak to me to work on things doesnt answer emails or text messages doesnt have my daughter call here. How can courts keep allowing females to get their kids just because??? The saddest thing I ever heard was from my daughter. She said she never wants to be like her mom. Granted I know why, but as a parent it just kills me her mom is leaving such a negative impression on such a wonderful kid.

My daughter loves my current wife and her and I have two kids here that would love to be a part of their big sisters life. Man It sucks

I can only wish you the best and hope you can find a way to relax and push on through her [censored].

You my friend get the honorable fid award.

thank you ROF , that was really helpful. I have always palmed my babies.

my dad used to squeeze my head and lift me up. of course i wasn't a baby though. ha

luckily for me I get my kiddo every other week for a week at a time. No child support, none of that. I reallt think thats why she is so upset. She figures shes entitled to get full custody and child support because she s a chick. My son flat out bawled the last Sunday I had him because he knew he had to go back to his moms house the next day, he feels scared at her apartment and would miss me. Its really tough staying strong in front of him when he tells me this stuff. The other dude shes dating told him it aint cool to cry... he holds in his emotions trying to be tough... thats crazy! He's 8! I told him he could cry to me anytime of the day if he wanted and I would sit there and listened to anything he wanted to tell me good or bad and if he just wanted to cry he could! I'm just rambling on and on... The whole thing is really tough and I'm finding out I'm not near as tough as I thought I was... I've got a ton of hatred for that girl... a ton! I gotta get to work... time to go drive around and look for bad guys. yall take care..I'm done feeling sorry for myself.

ROF.... thanks for the laugh bud. That was classic friend...

Naw babies are light. One man should be enough for the job.

keep your chin up man. I know it sucks... but I also know you're gonna come out on top.

I feel sorry for anybody you pull over today! They better say yes sir and no sir.

Louie,

After giving this one a long been there done that type think, the BEST thing to say is that you gotta keep it from eating a hole in you. If her bs is biting you on the back of your neck, she wins.

Good luck man!

Louie,
Just cut the state a check for the $750 and be done with it. That's all it's about anyway, more money for them.

momma used to wet my lips and stick me on the wall

Best advice I can offer...

Romans 12:19-20

New Living Translation (NLT)

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”[a]
says the LORD.

20 Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Go do the class. Be sure to act very enthusiastic and that you are having a great time. Also act like you have been wanting to do this class for a long time. Be sure to ask good questions and be a model student.

This sounds a lot like the 1st couple of years of my divorce.

One ray of hope that I can offer is that it has slowly gotten better for me. We communicate about our child and don't fight much any more.

I just calmly listen to what she says and ignore anything that is not about our son. I keep bringing the conversation back to him and filter out the rest.

Maybe her new man and new baby have something to do with it. Baby keeps her busy and she finds it easier to yell at her new man than she does me because I no longer listen to it.

Prayers sent, Man. Hang in there. I'm sure that your kids are worth it.

I think what really sucks for you, Louie, is that the typical state mandated co-parenting class is the "Kids First" class... which is only $50 and can be taken on-line. I agree with the principle behind it, and there really is some good information in it, but $750 is ridiculous!

whew hope you have fun in your mandated class. The one thing that I know for sure I have done right is never lie to my kid. If I tell her something I give her an example so she knows it. When my ex and her husband call me a liar my daughter asks me about it and I ask if they were able to give her an example. Yep never gives examples of me lying. She is growing up in a tough position. She is able to talk to me and ask anything she wants and knows she will get the truth from me. Wish I could see me kid everyday. She lives in TN. I have asked 20 lawyers how to get her here. She has a roof over her head and gets good grades. That's all she needs to provide. ugggggggggggggggg They ignore the hitting, drugs, drinking, lying, lack of co-parenting, and not following the court orders or blocking access......Courts need to wake up. Men are great parents too.

it told me a lil something when she turned down the free class i went to... it was a popular parenting class here in the county that was free... i gave her an invitation and she didnt show.

Did you go? That should free you from burden of going to this one, shouldn't it?

Lil Louie, you will have scars on your tongue like the rest of us who have been through this. It may take a few more years, but your son will see her for what she is.

It upset me when my son did not want to go to his dad's but I had to make him go anyway. He would come home mad at the world. I don't know if he was mad at his dad's new wife, his dad, or at me for making him go spend the weekend. I would talk to him about it but a lot of what he said could have easily been him trying to pit us against each other. Yes, kids know how to manipulate when they are fairly young.

BadMamaJama, the scripture you quoted is a good one.

Louie, your gonna be surprised what you pick up from those classes as long as you listen with an open mind. I too had to go through them. What your gonna pick up is (don't read this in the wrong way) is your gonna learn lots from the kiddos perspective and not so much your own. They very much dislike the on/off weekends with both parents. Your instructor will more than likely be a product of a divorce, so listen good and learn to look through the kiddos eyes and not so much through yours or the X's.

Oh, if you think it gets better after they are 18, think again. It never ever, totally goes away.

again, go with an open mind, digest what you hear. There will be plenty of opportunity for questions during and after the class as in a one on one.

Best of luck!

My best advice is to make sure the ex hooks up with someone. They leave you alone after that.

Go to the class. You always want to be "right" and you always want her to be"wrong" in the eyes of a judge at anytime in the future.

I carry my decree on a flash drive, on my keyring for a reason. It does get better with time.

And you getting married again this summer? Why?

I feel for ya having to go through this stuff, but IMO getting married again so soon after the divorce is asking for problems, either you child your your new wife is going to feel left out.

Wishing you the best, been there done that and it isn't easy, god luck!

Exs are paybacks for anything stupid we have done in our life. Or at least is feels that way

Better yet, they hook up with a registered sex-offender and neither one of them hold a steady job or residence!

I have 100% custody of my kids. She can't even exercise visitation as long as he is around... nevermind that her decree-ordered visitation is limited to just 4 hours every other Saturday... and nevermind that she hasn't even bothered to call since last July.

The co-parenting course ended up helping me A LOT just in helping deal with the questions from the kids and having to explain the situation in a manner that they would understand and was amicable.


Amen!!!!

I know how you feel, Im going through the same thing. The [censored] she says is just ridiculous. She tries to blame me for everything and goes around telling everyone how much of a pos I am. I have been very close to giving up my rights (yes its gotten that bad) but keep telling my self its better for my daughter if I am there even though I dont see her much.


I also do not know how people deal with this. Still trying to figure that out. I keep hoping that she will grow up, but it doesnt look like she will anytime soon.

I dont know if shes going around bad mouthing me or not. She can bad mouth me all she wants. I know tons of people... Lots of people knew us and most everyone knows she is a liar... I'm just tired of her jacking with me... Especially over the Right of First Refusal rule in our decree... Shes a teacher... so during the summer when I normally have our son my folks watch him for me while I work. Since she isn't working I'm suppose to give her the option to come get him since I will b away more than 4 hours....so in other words she gets him everyday I have him while I'm working which is total BS.... that aint 50/50 but there aint nuttin I can do about it.

Look at the bright side...there might be some milf in your class.

Wouldnt those be MYLFs ?

Either way, I like how you think. You're going to go places in life !

Good luck bro. I know what a spiteful or vengeful ex is like myself. I stopped caring about what she had to say. I just took care of what I was supposed to and lived how I wanted to. She didn't like it and voiced her opinion on it and I just hung up the phone.

It's your life now, she has no say on any of it. Even on how you choose to raise your kid while you have them. Just remember that. Of course that works both ways. My ex and I have a good relationship now after she finally came to the realization I didn't give a dang about what she had to say. I pick up the kid and drop her off and that's that.