keep your chin up man. I know it sucks... but I also know you're gonna come out on top.

I feel sorry for anybody you pull over today! They better say yes sir and no sir.

Louie,

After giving this one a long been there done that type think, the BEST thing to say is that you gotta keep it from eating a hole in you. If her bs is biting you on the back of your neck, she wins.

Good luck man!

Louie,
Just cut the state a check for the $750 and be done with it. That's all it's about anyway, more money for them.

momma used to wet my lips and stick me on the wall

Best advice I can offer...

Romans 12:19-20

New Living Translation (NLT)

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”[a]
says the LORD.

20 Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Go do the class. Be sure to act very enthusiastic and that you are having a great time. Also act like you have been wanting to do this class for a long time. Be sure to ask good questions and be a model student.

This sounds a lot like the 1st couple of years of my divorce.

One ray of hope that I can offer is that it has slowly gotten better for me. We communicate about our child and don't fight much any more.

I just calmly listen to what she says and ignore anything that is not about our son. I keep bringing the conversation back to him and filter out the rest.

Maybe her new man and new baby have something to do with it. Baby keeps her busy and she finds it easier to yell at her new man than she does me because I no longer listen to it.

Prayers sent, Man. Hang in there. I'm sure that your kids are worth it.

I think what really sucks for you, Louie, is that the typical state mandated co-parenting class is the "Kids First" class... which is only $50 and can be taken on-line. I agree with the principle behind it, and there really is some good information in it, but $750 is ridiculous!

whew hope you have fun in your mandated class. The one thing that I know for sure I have done right is never lie to my kid. If I tell her something I give her an example so she knows it. When my ex and her husband call me a liar my daughter asks me about it and I ask if they were able to give her an example. Yep never gives examples of me lying. She is growing up in a tough position. She is able to talk to me and ask anything she wants and knows she will get the truth from me. Wish I could see me kid everyday. She lives in TN. I have asked 20 lawyers how to get her here. She has a roof over her head and gets good grades. That's all she needs to provide. ugggggggggggggggg They ignore the hitting, drugs, drinking, lying, lack of co-parenting, and not following the court orders or blocking access......Courts need to wake up. Men are great parents too.

it told me a lil something when she turned down the free class i went to... it was a popular parenting class here in the county that was free... i gave her an invitation and she didnt show.

Did you go? That should free you from burden of going to this one, shouldn't it?

Lil Louie, you will have scars on your tongue like the rest of us who have been through this. It may take a few more years, but your son will see her for what she is.

It upset me when my son did not want to go to his dad's but I had to make him go anyway. He would come home mad at the world. I don't know if he was mad at his dad's new wife, his dad, or at me for making him go spend the weekend. I would talk to him about it but a lot of what he said could have easily been him trying to pit us against each other. Yes, kids know how to manipulate when they are fairly young.

BadMamaJama, the scripture you quoted is a good one.

Louie, your gonna be surprised what you pick up from those classes as long as you listen with an open mind. I too had to go through them. What your gonna pick up is (don't read this in the wrong way) is your gonna learn lots from the kiddos perspective and not so much your own. They very much dislike the on/off weekends with both parents. Your instructor will more than likely be a product of a divorce, so listen good and learn to look through the kiddos eyes and not so much through yours or the X's.

Oh, if you think it gets better after they are 18, think again. It never ever, totally goes away.

again, go with an open mind, digest what you hear. There will be plenty of opportunity for questions during and after the class as in a one on one.

Best of luck!

My best advice is to make sure the ex hooks up with someone. They leave you alone after that.

Go to the class. You always want to be "right" and you always want her to be"wrong" in the eyes of a judge at anytime in the future.

I carry my decree on a flash drive, on my keyring for a reason. It does get better with time.

And you getting married again this summer? Why?

I feel for ya having to go through this stuff, but IMO getting married again so soon after the divorce is asking for problems, either you child your your new wife is going to feel left out.

Wishing you the best, been there done that and it isn't easy, god luck!

Exs are paybacks for anything stupid we have done in our life. Or at least is feels that way

Better yet, they hook up with a registered sex-offender and neither one of them hold a steady job or residence!

I have 100% custody of my kids. She can't even exercise visitation as long as he is around... nevermind that her decree-ordered visitation is limited to just 4 hours every other Saturday... and nevermind that she hasn't even bothered to call since last July.

The co-parenting course ended up helping me A LOT just in helping deal with the questions from the kids and having to explain the situation in a manner that they would understand and was amicable.


Amen!!!!

I know how you feel, Im going through the same thing. The [censored] she says is just ridiculous. She tries to blame me for everything and goes around telling everyone how much of a pos I am. I have been very close to giving up my rights (yes its gotten that bad) but keep telling my self its better for my daughter if I am there even though I dont see her much.


I also do not know how people deal with this. Still trying to figure that out. I keep hoping that she will grow up, but it doesnt look like she will anytime soon.

I dont know if shes going around bad mouthing me or not. She can bad mouth me all she wants. I know tons of people... Lots of people knew us and most everyone knows she is a liar... I'm just tired of her jacking with me... Especially over the Right of First Refusal rule in our decree... Shes a teacher... so during the summer when I normally have our son my folks watch him for me while I work. Since she isn't working I'm suppose to give her the option to come get him since I will b away more than 4 hours....so in other words she gets him everyday I have him while I'm working which is total BS.... that aint 50/50 but there aint nuttin I can do about it.

Look at the bright side...there might be some milf in your class.

Wouldnt those be MYLFs ?

Either way, I like how you think. You're going to go places in life !

Good luck bro. I know what a spiteful or vengeful ex is like myself. I stopped caring about what she had to say. I just took care of what I was supposed to and lived how I wanted to. She didn't like it and voiced her opinion on it and I just hung up the phone.

It's your life now, she has no say on any of it. Even on how you choose to raise your kid while you have them. Just remember that. Of course that works both ways. My ex and I have a good relationship now after she finally came to the realization I didn't give a dang about what she had to say. I pick up the kid and drop her off and that's that.