Amanda is a friend of mine and of my younger daughter Megan they are also co-workers at a local auction outfit.Former columnist for the Dallas Observer and aspiring writer.Kid has a way with words.
http://www.wfaa.com/sports/Hamiltons-138687029.html

Was a good read

good writer

Very good read. Was sorry to hear this about him yesterday. I just read his book a few weeks ago. Thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

That was a very good article.

I noticed during the playoff after Josh and Shannon Stone's little boy participated in a pregame ceremony honoring his father, Josh's production at the plate tanked for several games. Even though Josh knows it was not his fault, the memory of the little boy's screams as his dad fell have to haunt him to some degree. I still remember over 25 years ago when a floor of a burning business gave away and I heard the screams of the fireman that died. It is not a memory that you try to remember, but you do remember it when certain things happen.

We don't know what demons Josh has been fighting all of these years. I believe the incident added one more demon to the others he had already been fighting.

That is why I first posted yesterday that Josh would be in my prayers.

He will always have them. He needs a better support group.

He also needs his wife and others who are very close to him to recognize when those demons push him into provoking a fight with them that may or may not be used as an excuse to drink.

It is a lot like watching a 2 y/o who just is not going to be happy until he finds a reason to have a temper tantrum. They need to be savvy enough to not bite and remain cool and calm. Josh needs to recognize when he starts to provoke those around him into having a fight or argument. That is when he need to talk to his sponsor and his sponsor needs to be savvy enough to recognize the behavior too.

The people in Josh's life are NOT responsible for him drinking or not drinking. They aren't that powerful.

It's a total cop out if someone blames someone else for their addiction.

Scags, that flew right over your head.

When you are dealing with someone who has an addiction, one of their excuses for using is some family member or whoever made them mad. Of course it is an excuse. They are literally a fight waiting to happen. You can see and recognize the behavior and not buy into it by letting them provoke you into getting into the fight with them.

Yes, I am saying Josh's excuse of a dispute in the family is just that. It is an excuse. The dispute did not make him drink. He chose to drink. He may have provoked the dispute to allow himself to rationalize it into being an excuse to drink.

All I said was recognize the behavior pattern and do not buy into it. Do not enable him to rationalize something he created into an excuse to drink.

My ex was an alcoholic and the damage he did to his body before he finally became clean and sober shortened his lifespan. He died seven years ago from the lingering health problems from his problems with addiction. His behavior of "being a fight waiting to happen" was so obvious one of the women he worked with told me she would harrass him about being on the rag when he was in that mood.

Just like the two y/o hunting for an excuse to throw a tantrum, you have to tell the alcoholic they are hunting for an excuse to blow up. It make take several lapses to finally get them to recognize their behavior and the resulting excuse to drink.

TB, I reread your post and your first paragraph implied that arguments with the people in an addict's life could be used as an excuse to drink.

It is indeed a common fallacy.

Your second post came across differently.

No, I was trying to say an addict or alcoholic will many times try to start a big blowup argument just to validate an excuse to drink. Just like we have to be smarter than the two y/o hunting for a reason to have a temper tantrum, we have to recognize when an alcoholic is picking a fight to justify an excuse in their mind. It is not a justified excuse, but they think it is.

I ended up leaving and divorcing mine. It was the best thing I ever did. Life is too short to stay in misery and my life has been joyful with my hubby of 21 years.

A few beers now and then is no problem. Extended meth and crack use is another thing. His brain chemistry is screwed and will never recover. He can stop use, but will never feel as good as before the change. Not a disease, self inflicted damage, but a real problem nontheless. One beer reactivates the pleasure cells, 10 beers gets them running, and a big line of coke will make him feel alive for the first time in years.

Of course he will hit the wall in short order. but that feeling of deadness went away. Hope you never really understand

I drank a few of my demons away last night myself.