Guy walks up to his buddy and says, "did you make some new years resolutions".
Sure did his buddy replied. Friend says, "do you mind telling me what the are".
Nope, sure don't. Here's what they are:
I'm going to quit smoking
I'm going to quit drinking
I'm going to quit chasing women.
Damn his buddy says. What are you going to do for fun??
To which he calmly replied, "Tell Lies".