POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?'

I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm.. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'

'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed for the door.

'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'

Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'

'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.....

Thanks for the visual.

Now that was funny. Thanks for the laugh. If men had to get their privates sandwiched like that and x-rayed, you can bet they would come up with a better system and PRONTO. Anyway...mammograms are no fun, so I can just imagine the horror of that scenario. Guess what I will be thinking next time I get one>??? ROTFL.

I had a great idea the other day and thought I'd run it by Western Union. Sadly, they weren't to keen on the idea of Singing Mammograms. Oh well. Back to brainstorming.

Lancer6
Idea Man

You are so right us men are wimps... If it was up to men to give birth we would never reproduce...

If men could have a baby, there would be much more options in childbirth...rotflmao...I firmly believe that. Some kind of know what it is like with a bad kidney stone episode. I have only been to the ER once with a kidney stone, and I have had several. It was the only one that I couldn't handle. Anyway, thanks for the laugh guys. I needed it!

now that was funny! Unfortunately it is time for me to once again be powerless to the machine I also call Jaws!! I dread this every year but I realize how important it is. This time instead of praying it wont hurt, I will be thankful if the power does not go out!! YIKES!

Anybody have a hankie? I still have tears in my eyes from laughing!! Now, that was funny!! Thanks!

OMG that's the funniest thing in a long time. If women had been doctors a long time ago, we wouldn't have to deal with those stirrups either!