LOL! I could've come up with a bunch of smarties on that question, but I won't.
I insert the hook point through the rear end and run the barb out through the middle of their hard little heads. Then I scrunch them back down on the bard so as to hide it and wait for the bite. Yes, it will kill Jimmeney Cricket eventually but they stay on the hook much better than any other way I have tried. The bream usually attack them pretty quickly, anyway.
I am certainly no bream fishing expert. This is only what has worked for me.
"Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out" - Zachary Troy Schrah - a young man with vision far beyond his years.