How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper

according to lights and darks.


Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note

to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.


Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,

long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo

with 43 added vitamins.


Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

enhanced with real passion fruit.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub

for 10 minutes until red.


Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and

jaffa cake body wash.


Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.


Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.


Dry with towel the size of a small country.


Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown

and towel on head.


If you see husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.



How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed

and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her

making the woo-woo' sound.


Look at your manly physique in the mirror.


Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your [censored].


Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.


Blow your nose in your hands and

let the water rinse them off.


Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.


Spend majority of time washing privates

and surrounding area.


Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs

stuck on the soap.


Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.




Pee.


Rinse off and get out of shower.

Avoid bath mat.


Dry off forearms and butt only.


Fail to notice water on floor because curtain

was hanging out of tub the whole time.


Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Shake it to watch water fly off.


Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,

light and fan on.


Return to bedroom with towel around waist.


If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her

and make the woo-woo' sound again.


Throw wet towel on bed.

Classic

Fergot one - show her some spring-board action with the wowser...make it slap your tummy...

Tummy? You mean chest, don't you...oh, forgot...not everyone is that fortunate....

...springboard action could be substituted for the world-famous "helicopter"

Man it is gettin deep in here

I measure for the curvature of the girth....

most entertaining

My EX-Wife showered that way!!!

Grandma said she would wash down as far as possible, wash up as far as possible, then wash possible.

Classic!

she needs to do more shaving than mentioned

...or waxing, either way is good by me.....

I've heard it a different way, instead of a towel, use the bath mat lol

some of these older guys like the 70's bush

I need one more Bud after that one. Where ya'll come up with is?