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#2338735 - 06/05/08 06:54 PM
How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 01/25/07
Posts: 1700
Loc: Fate, TX
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So the talk about the WWII and 'Nam movies got me thinking about how long I have wanted to hear the stories my grandfather has about his WWII experience. He's getting much older and more feeble and I don't want his stories to go with him. I'm lucky enough that I've been cited in his will for receiving some of his best firearms, though I doubt any of them were issued to him during his duty (M1 Garand, 30-40 Krag, M1911). My dad will receive his ribbons and medals and I have already asked my dad to pass those on down to me when the time comes. I've been a WWII buff for pretty much as long as I can remember. I know it's always a touchy/emotional subject with a lot of veterans, but it's something I have always wanted to hear in person.
The only thing I've been told is that he was in the Navy in the Pacific islands. His ship got hit, and sunk, by the Japanese. Shrapnel tore up his legs pretty bad, yet he still managed to swim to safety. I've seen his Purple Heart, Victory, Naval Cross, and other awards, yet that's all I know.
I would love to know more about what exactly he did in the Navy, what ship he was on, his assignment, etc. I've never wanted to bring it up with him out of respect, nor have I really asked anyone else in the family about it. I figure we have enough veterans on here <salute> that perhaps ya'll can give me some tips on how I can maybe break the ice on this and hopefully learn more about a legacy that I can pass on down to my children.
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#2338769 - 06/05/08 07:02 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: nax]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 01/14/07
Posts: 1725
Loc: grand prairie
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I used to be in the home medical equipment business and had many patients that I loved to talk with, as I'm a WWII history buff, as well.
It usually didn't take much, but I'd tell 'em that I'd love to hear they're stories IF, and ONLY IF, they were willing to talk about it.
I'm certain that it's different, as this man is your G-pa. Tell him that you are proud of his service and you'd like to know more. These stories should be passed from generation to generation so we all know what it took for us to have the privelages that we've been afforded.
Keep us posted - I'm ALWAYS interested in what the Greatest Generation has to say.
-Alton
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#2338771 - 06/05/08 07:02 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: nax]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 11/11/05
Posts: 1438
Loc: Dallas,Texas
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I bet if you just asked him about it he would be glad to share it with you. I bet if you started off by thanking him for all he has done for our country he would open up. These old timers have loads of knowledge that they would love to share if only someone would ask. You don't want to wait to long because then you may never get the chance. MY 2 cents. Thank him for me!!!!Everytime I see a veteran I always go out of my way to thank them. People in our country are so spoiled and ungratefull and have no clue what has been done so that they Can vote( and don't) and so they can be free (and then take it for granted). My 2 cents
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#2338790 - 06/05/08 07:09 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: nax]
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TFF Guru
Registered: 01/23/06
Posts: 15058
Loc: Dallas
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Avoid the full frontal assault. Get him talking about his life BEFORE the war and ease into the war years. If he starts feeling uneasy about it, back off.
Remember, most of the knowledge we need comes to us on its own without us having to root around for it.
Have you read The Greatest Generation? A lot of these guys are just shutdown about their war experiences.
_________________________
Don't talk to me about my signature. Don't talk to me about your signature. I've disabled my ability to view signatures. Would that I could, I'd disable your ability to view them too. And this is my signature.
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#2338816 - 06/05/08 07:21 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: Scagnetti]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 03/03/08
Posts: 1111
Loc: Dripping Springs Tx
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The men interviewed for the Band of Brothers are real veterans. They are truly amazing to listen to. Your grandpa might not tell stories of battles or heroic actions but his experience on ship would be just as amazing to me. I would research the ship he was on, he might appreciate you for doing that.
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#2338820 - 06/05/08 07:23 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: Scagnetti]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 2920
Loc: Crandall, Tx
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I know where you’re coming from. My Dad fought in Germany and was wounded there. It was years before he told us any details about his experiences. Once we got him started he would tell a little more each time. I got to watch the movie Saving Private Ryan with him and he told us that he landed on the same beach a few days after the first landing. He told us about the bodies still laying there and the smell. One thing I will never forget is he said the movie was very accurate except for the fact those actors were grown men. He said “we were just boys”. Most were 17-18 years old. He died a couple of years ago and I am very glad we heard his stories. I would defiantly ask your Grandfather..
_________________________
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
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#2338833 - 06/05/08 07:27 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: david4327]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 12/23/04
Posts: 2499
Loc: Hurst
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Beat him up. Make him talk. He's family. He'll open up. Write it all down 'cause I want to hear his story too. Good Luck and God Bless. (insert snappy salute)
_________________________
 US NAVY Engineman Third Class "Army" Assault Boat Engineer
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#2338847 - 06/05/08 07:31 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: nax]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 12/21/06
Posts: 2006
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I've seen his Purple Heart, Victory, Naval Cross, and other awards, yet that's all I know. Look up WW2 Navy Cross recipients.
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#2338903 - 06/05/08 07:44 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it g
[Re: Hwy_Man]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 01/25/07
Posts: 1700
Loc: Fate, TX
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I've seen his Purple Heart, Victory, Naval Cross, and other awards, yet that's all I know. Look up WW2 Navy Cross recipients. Yep, he's there! But sadly, so far no detailed information to really help. He was a lieutenant (j.g.). Will continue to dig further and see if I can find anything else. Thanks for the tip!
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#2338929 - 06/05/08 07:50 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: Mark Perry]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 04/18/07
Posts: 1823
Loc: Arlington, TX
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Yep. Mark you are right about that one. My mothers older sister is 14 years older and she is married to my Uncle Frank who was a coxswain in the Pacific theater in WWII. He drove the men up on the beaches in places such as Guadalcanal and Tarawa and he will not talk about it. Every now and then he will mention a few details but nothing more. One day he gave some details and the thing I remember the most was his comment about the blood stained water. He is in his upper Eighties and I have wondered about his stories too and how to get him to talk about them. We have tried before but out of respect left it alone.
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#2338940 - 06/05/08 07:54 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: nax]
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TFF Team Angler
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 3913
Loc: Tyler, TX
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So the talk about the WWII and 'Nam movies got me thinking about how long I have wanted to hear the stories my grandfather has about his WWII experience. He's getting much older and more feeble and I don't want his stories to go with him. I'm lucky enough that I've been cited in his will for receiving some of his best firearms, though I doubt any of them were issued to him during his duty (M1 Garand, 30-40 Krag, M1911). My dad will receive his ribbons and medals and I have already asked my dad to pass those on down to me when the time comes. I've been a WWII buff for pretty much as long as I can remember. I know it's always a touchy/emotional subject with a lot of veterans, but it's something I have always wanted to hear in person.
The only thing I've been told is that he was in the Navy in the Pacific islands. His ship got hit, and sunk, by the Japanese. Shrapnel tore up his legs pretty bad, yet he still managed to swim to safety. I've seen his Purple Heart, Victory, Naval Cross, and other awards, yet that's all I know.
I would love to know more about what exactly he did in the Navy, what ship he was on, his assignment, etc. I've never wanted to bring it up with him out of respect, nor have I really asked anyone else in the family about it. I figure we have enough veterans on here <salute> that perhaps ya'll can give me some tips on how I can maybe break the ice on this and hopefully learn more about a legacy that I can pass on down to my children. he would love nothing more than to tell it to you. i ask felt the same about my grandfathers experiance in ww2 in france. finally i just started asking small questions then more elaborate questions and now he tells me all kinds of things about the war. he doesnt like talking about killings but he does tell some great stories about boot camp, travel, and people he met. he has a great story about how he was picked to be a soldier at pattons funeral. just dont come out and ask him, how many people did you kill?
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#2338951 - 06/05/08 07:59 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: Hwy_Man]
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TFF Celebrity
Registered: 08/08/02
Posts: 6155
Loc: Fruitvale, Texas
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Nax, Ask him, NOW, he will gladly tell you if he is able to. A bit of history here, I was born in 1934, joined the USMC in 1949 (Yes I am a member of Veterans of Underage Service), stayed in for a while and then into the Army, without getting too deep, after joining the Army I attended and was trained in the following: Airborne, Ranger,M ountain, Jungle,Infantry School at Benning, Special Forces (77th SFG, the origional) and many, many secondary schools. I spent the first combat times in Korea (187th RCT (Airborne) and then onto SE Asia (French Indo China) from there I was sent to parts of the world even I cant believe at times, (Always under arms, legal and illegal (At that time)I really dont talk about most of this at times although it has been recorded both in print and on tape. I have had the experiance also of being a District Commander of the VFW, traveling the posts I always tried to record as much as I could from veterans at those posts. And ALWAYS found them ready to talk if given an open oppertunity, they were a mixture of WW11, Korea, and Viet Nam. Remember, your Grandfather is a real national treasure, treat him like it. And also remember he wil NEVER, and I mean NEVER open to you if he is not asked, thats what makes him Your treasure..... Last but not least, Record all he tells you (If possible) Good luck, and smile once for me.
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#2338961 - 06/05/08 08:01 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it g
[Re: nax]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 12/21/06
Posts: 2006
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Will continue to dig further and see if I can find anything else. Thanks for the tip! Approach with caution and respect! Few of these stories, are Fond Memory’s, their mostly Dark Chapters.
Edited by Hwy_Man (06/05/08 08:03 PM)
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#2339169 - 06/05/08 09:51 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it g
[Re: Hwy_Man]
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TFF Team Angler
Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 4331
Loc: Lewisville
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One note on this - I've observed that some WW2 vets are very reluctant to talk about their service with kids or grandkids because alot of what they endured & did was so horrible. Had a friend whose grandpa had served in Korea but would never talk about it with his family.
One day I get introduced to gramps .. somewhere in the conversation it came up that I was a Marine in Desert Storm. Next thing I know I'm getting the entire emotional experience of what Korea was to him. He apparently felt that he could only share this stuff with someone else who'd been in his shoes, so to speak.
Might ask a contemporary combat vet to chat with your grandpa for a bit & see if he'll open up then.
Edited by Zeek the Greek (06/05/08 09:52 PM)
_________________________
Certified Affordable Housing Specialist - ask me about assistance programs for first time homebuyers!
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#2339201 - 06/05/08 11:15 PM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: SFAbassguy]
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Extreme Angler
Registered: 11/28/05
Posts: 1009
Loc: Pilot Point ,Tx
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So the talk about the WWII and 'Nam movies got me thinking about how long I have wanted to hear the stories my grandfather has about his WWII experience. He's getting much older and more feeble and I don't want his stories to go with him. I'm lucky enough that I've been cited in his will for receiving some of his best firearms, though I doubt any of them were issued to him during his duty (M1 Garand, 30-40 Krag, M1911). My dad will receive his ribbons and medals and I have already asked my dad to pass those on down to me when the time comes. I've been a WWII buff for pretty much as long as I can remember. I know it's always a touchy/emotional subject with a lot of veterans, but it's something I have always wanted to hear in person.
The only thing I've been told is that he was in the Navy in the Pacific islands. His ship got hit, and sunk, by the Japanese. Shrapnel tore up his legs pretty bad, yet he still managed to swim to safety. I've seen his Purple Heart, Victory, Naval Cross, and other awards, yet that's all I know.
I would love to know more about what exactly he did in the Navy, what ship he was on, his assignment, etc. I've never wanted to bring it up with him out of respect, nor have I really asked anyone else in the family about it. I figure we have enough veterans on here <salute> that perhaps ya'll can give me some tips on how I can maybe break the ice on this and hopefully learn more about a legacy that I can pass on down to my children. he would love nothing more than to tell it to you. i ask felt the same about my grandfathers experiance in ww2 in france. finally i just started asking small questions then more elaborate questions and now he tells me all kinds of things about the war. he doesnt like talking about killings " but he does tell some great stories about boot camp, travel, and people he met." he has a great story about how he was picked to be a soldier at pattons funeral. just dont come out and ask him, how many people did you kill? My Dad served/volunteered in Korea and only spoke one time about it. He only mentioned about how cold it was and how they could hear the conversations at night from the other side. Thats been approx. 20 yrs. ago he told me. I now wish he would have opened up more, but thats how it was. He passed away in 92' from Leukemia. He wasnt Big on Talk.
Edited by GH50 (06/05/08 11:19 PM)
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"You need to take the training wheels off."
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#2339224 - 06/06/08 12:06 AM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: GH50]
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TFF Guru
Registered: 02/16/06
Posts: 24073
Loc: Underwater
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Get him alone and simply ask him about the Navy. Not the war. Not the ship that went down, just the Navy. If he wants to talk, he will. Most will, to a point. But if he gets to the sinking of the ship, watch him closely, for in his mind, he will re-live the event...and for some, that's not a good thing. He saw his shipmates burn and drown, heard them scream and he couldnt help them. So be VERY careful with what you say at that point. No sense in giving that old sea dog nightmares again, that it took him years to overcome. If he was a JG, then he feels responsible for his men, (as well any combat vet)
The Navy Cross is not something that was just passed out at will. This man is a warrior through and through. You should be very proud of him. You have royal blood running through your veins and I salute you both.
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  You dont know what you dont know until you know it.
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#2339284 - 06/06/08 02:46 AM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: Oldfrog]
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TFF Guru
Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 12610
Loc: potato potato potato...
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BTW, that's a good idea, Zeek. I once met a young Marine who went to the sandbox and like many, saw things no man wants to ever see. It haunted him for 5 years until we met. He had never told anyone his story and wanted desperately to do so. He tried to tell his family...yet they didnt get it..so he stopped the story short. ( we've all done that). But he told the entire story to me the first time we met. My ex wife worked with his girlfriend and we all gone to dinner. She had clued him in about me. This guy opened up and talked for two hours with me alone, as the women chatted 15 feet away.
When he stopped, he looked as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He gave me a bear hug and tears in his eyes, thanked me for understanding. It seems that he had begun to drink heavily and had just realized what he was doing to himself and why.
So some of the vets DO want to talk (in detail)...but ONLY to someone that can relate.

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 SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM
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#2339391 - 06/06/08 04:33 AM
Re: How to approach grandfather about his war experiences, or just let it go?
[Re: MARKIT]
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TFF Celebrity
Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 7924
Loc: Central Texas
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My dad would talk about certain aspects of his experiences in Korea with the Navy. He never volunteered info or even broached the subject. I do know that he was in engineerng and radio. I also know that he came close to being captured, which I thought funny since being in the Navy. He only said that he was on foward observation for shelling N Korea. Thats it. When visiting fam in Canada, my dad and my mom's older brother would go to a back room to talk. No one was allowed to be part of that. My uncle had a tough go of it and never talked about his experiences except with my dad. Until my trip up last year. He opened up a bit to my brother and I. He relayed partial stories of his experiences which led my brother and I to research. Here is what we found: Audio History Kapyoung Dog Company Lt. Col. Stone is fondly remembered by my Uncle Arch. A picture of Stone is hung on a wall in his home, next to the medals of my uncle and a picture of another uncle, Joe, that Uncle Arch saw KIA a few months later. Among his ribbons/medals and one that he most proud of: For their actions during the Battle of Kapyong the second battalion of the Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry Regiment and the 3rd Royal Australian Regiment including their attached American tank company were awarded the prestigious US Presidential Unit Citation.They will open up when they want to or feel the need. I found that of all the vets I know or knew were humble warriors and never felt the need to talk about themselves but rather their brothers in arms.
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