WaxahachieRookie, do you have an e-mail address at work?

yep... sending you a pm

Ken, I have been there, I may have had the same guy. Hit me in the temple and down I went. I had a head ache for three days. One side of the weight was flat from hitting me so hard. I had a girl from American Airlines that ranks at the top for me. She booked the trip for her and her boyfriend and I ask her if she ever fished before, she replies oh yes alot of times. They get there and oh no !! She had only been deep sea fishing where the down riggers are used. When I had to teach her to use a baitcaster she did not want to fish that way. On up in the day she lost a big fish by not setting the hook. On to the rest of the story. She ask me, what does your wife do ? I replied, oh she does what I tell her to. Just joking around, but she took me serious and started cusing me out and calling me all kinds of names for that my wife was not there to defend herself or reply to my comment. I took this for a half hour or so just laughing it off but i could not take it anymore. Her boyfriend never really said anything to stop her. I told her that i would not let a man talk to me like that with out knocking his teeth through the back of his head and that she need to stop cusing me now !She turned to her boy friend and said honey are you going to back me up on this ? He looks around and say's nope.... it is to far to SWIM !!!! True Story !! Hope ya'll enjoyed it ! It is hard to be a guide !

I shot a turkey in the head at 200 yards with my 25/06. I aimed at the head knowing damn well I would more than likely miss.......woops, damn I got em! As I looked around to see if anyone saw me. Wasn't even turkey season. I was deer hunting and hadn't seen anything all day and I had an itchy trigger finger.

Thanks... good story Marc. Some people just missed out in the humor department. The boyfriend should have told her to shut-up, but atleast he didn't take her side.

Huck: i gotta 25-06 too, and love it... that one smooth shooting gun.

Nice shot !

I wasn't the guide but helped organize a trip to Lake Athebaska in NW Saskatchewan. One of the group ended up fishing with me and the guide the first day. He didn't know how to spool line on his pole, he only brought one pole, he tried to cast and threw his pole in the lake. For the next 3 days all he did was stay around the lodge drinking Crown Royal. Think that's all he came for anyway.

GET TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am working or should I say at work BUT not working on what they want me to work on! When the Cat is gone the Mice will play!

Rodman no hangover, just took it easy, watching football today!

BTW good morning Double R! now there is some one who parties like a rockstar!

Chris, good deal. I think I will go home for the day. I had a enough of this place!

Anybody else???

What ticks you off at the lake?

Whats your worst fishing trip?

I remember the time I shot a turkey at 400 yds. with my bow. Hang on a minute I just caught another share a lunker.

Being a Marine that qalified on the 500 yd line with open Iron Sights and hit a "12 spotter within my 10 shot pattern.. yep it is very possible to hit and drop a turkey at 400 yds.

You'd need good winds, plenty of light and make a good shot, but it dang sure can be done.

I shot a turkey at 400 yards with my slingshot. All it took was 2 six-packs.

Hitting a turkey at 400 yards is possible. But with a 30-30? I find that hard to believe.

One time when bowhunting and walking back to the truck (truck at least 5 to 600 yards away) I thought to myself "I wonder how far this arrow will go?" So I aim at the truck thinking I'll pick up the arrow on the way to it and damn if that arrow didn't look like it hit my truck. I get to the truck and the arrow is only about 10 foot from the side of my truck. I never would have thought it would go that far. Mathews Solo Cam, The first one that came out MQ9.

One of my grandfathers was a hunting/fishing guide and had previously been a professional hunter and trick shooter for Marlin. I saw him shoot a ram silhouette on the 500-yard range at the YO Ranch with one shot - a silhouette that was turned 90 degrees so that only the edge was showing. Also saw him shoot a low-flying hawk out of the air with a .243 at somewhere around 150 yards. A 400-yard turkey wouldn't have phased him in the least. But like I said, he was a pro - I'm not bad but I certainly can't shoot like that.

He had a ton of customer stories. Most of the bad ones were customers who ruined gear, put bullet holes in his vehicle or injured themselves doing something he had told them not to do. He called those customers "dumb frogs". I remember a couple of good customer stories though...

He was guiding inshore redfish/trout out of Port Mansfield in the mid 80s. A customer brought along his girlfriend - a beautiful redhead. She decided that during the hottest part of the day she was going to fish naked. No one complained about that.

Then another time a customer brought a girl who was obviously his mistress. They fished for a while and then the girl put down the rod, guzzled a beer, grabbed another beer and sat down. The guy asked why she wasn't fishing and she says, "I didn't come here to fish, I came here to...(use your imagination)". The guy looks at my grandfather and says, "Captain, time to head back." So the next day the same couple hires him, and they go out and fish for a while. Again the girl sets down her rod, guzzles a beer and opens another one and sits down. The guy says, "Captain...", but my grandfather already had his hand on the key and says, "I'm gone!"

I had a pretty funny thing happen when I was a Duck hunting Guide. I had an older couple booked. The guy said that he had hunted quite a bit and she was there I found out later, just so he could shoot her limit. I always would show my clients where 40 yds was so that they some type of reference what the max that we would shoot. I always would explain that most of our shots would be 20 to 30 yds. and I would call the shots. The area was a private club and had plenty of ducks to shoot so we would not start to hunt until 8:00. I get everybody in the blind and go through and explain where the guns need to be and re-explain the 40 yds. By then we’ve got birds working and locked up and sailing into the decoys. I’m calling and watching the birds when I hear a bah-whoom, then a very loud crashing sound in the back of the blind. I look over and the guy had got anxious and had shot too soon. He had a real nice double-barreled LC Smith 12 gauge and both barrels had gone off at the same time knocking him down in the floor in the blind, broke his glasses and bloodied his nose. I wanted to LMAO but I had to hold back. I just thought ---jump shooting the guide and shooting at about 60 yds. , just what you deserve. His wife came up with the best line-- “Well you didn’t listen like normal!”

After we got him all cleaned up and put back together we proceeded to kill our limits--he shot her's and got some pretty good laughs later.

I'm not a guide and this has nothing to do with who I was fishing with, so I apologize. You did ask if there was anything that ticked me off while fishing...

I was fishing for catfish at Fork one day and I'm not sure if there was a bass tournament or what, but there were quite a few bass boats around. Anyway, I was anchored down near a stump flat, and these guys came around the bend fishing the stump field. They fished right up to my boat. One of them was fishing with a plastic worm and actually hit my boat with it. I asked them what the h3ll they thought they were doing but they didn't answer and just kept on fishing!

Another time, I was anchored near the dam/levee at Tawakoni and I was about 10 yards from the rocks. I actually had a boat troll between me and the rocks, getting as close as 5 yards from my boat! Man, that really PO'd me!

Todd

Funny stories, especially the one about the shotgun and jumpshootin, lol.

i like that mr i have a story like that except i was guiding was just duck hunting with some friends and buddy decided it would be funny to give his little brother that normally shot a 20 gauge a 10 with 3.5 nitro's....poor kid hadn't hunted enough to tell the difference of the two guns..he just knew to shoot the gun his brother gave him...well we were hunting in a flooded swamp out of a 14' aluminum boat with camo netting...needless to say we had some greenheads start coming in and buddy tells his brother to take the first shot...needless to say kid peppers the duck but manages to lose his balance since not being aware of the kick and falls clean outa the boat...buddy had a time explaing that one to his brother...it was actually quite hateful but also funny in a way...they both laughed about it that afternoon at lunch so it all ended well..

Good stories... Ya'll keep 'em coming.

Here's another one. I have these guys book me from Oklahoma*. It is October and the bass are schoooling big time back in Birch. They show up and it is two brothers about 30 years old and a 10 yr old son. The guy says, "you don't mind if my son tags along do you?" I say well, it would have been nice if you had let me know we were going to fish 4 outta my boat and I do have an extra $50 charge for the extra person.

This guy gets upset and says how he doesn't think that is right and his boy was a good boy and wouldn't be in the way. The two brothers go aside and talk for a few minutes. I can see they have their money out counting it between them. I can tell from the old pickup truck they drove up in that this is their once a decade trip (no offense to guys that drive old pickups) to Fork.

So I call them over and make them this offer; I tell them that the bass are schooling and the action is fast & furious on 'Traps and Pop-R's for the first hour or so at daylight. I go on to tell them that it is very easy for someone to get hooked in the heat of the moment when the bass are schooling and it drastically increases the chances of getting hooked when there are 4 people in the boat. I tell them that I will take them with no extra person charge as long as they are extremely careful and if one person gets hooked, the day is over at that moment.

They anxiously agreed and we put the boat in the water and took off. I run into Birch and shut down. The bass are chasing shad bigtime and I get them all rigged up. They had brought a Zebco 33 for the boy. It was a bass every cast for about 30 minutes and I was just running the troll motor and ducking.

About 7:45 am I hear the guy in back scream out and spin around to see him bent over. The boy is looking at the Pop-R stuck in his father's back. I walk back there and pull on it a few times while he screams like a little girl. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud!

I say "Well guys, waddaya wanna do?" The guy with the Pop-R dangling from his right should blade says, "Take Me In"!!

So at 8:00 am I am sitting back in Rainswood eating pancakes telling this story to Bill. Since the OKies were gone, I laughed so hard I blew pancakes across the table at Bill.

Ken


*no okies were harmed in the making of this story.

Bill, "W e l l......... t h e m... Y a n k e e s.. o u g h t.. t o .. k n o w n e d .. b e t t e r .. t o.. h a v e.. a .. k i d .. t h r o w i n .. t r e b b l e s, .. s h o u l d a .. t h r o w e d .. a .. b l a d e. .. Millie, ya gonna clean this up?"

SE Kansas grass grower