I fished an Anglers Choice Pro Am as a non boater one year and drew a guide out of Alabama that drove to Cedar Creek to fish. He had lost a fish the day before on one of the points at the bridge opening in front of Sunny Glen and we headed there first thing in the morning. He said with the cold weather we would be fishing deep even though my traveling partner was at the top of the standings after catching bedding fish the day before. When we got there he started telling me stories to pass the time. I heard about him shooting two deer with one shot, killing a bear with only a knife, and many others as we sit there in one spot for over 6 hours throwing to the same spot. We finally made it to the other side of the bridge for the last hour where I finally caught about a 4 1/2 lber from the back of the boat.
I could write a great fictional novel with all of the stories I heard that day but I still have Tired Head many years later from that day.

Buddie of mine that guides at Fork told me about the day he had 2 guys booked. He launched his 20ft Skeeter and while getting tackle ready noticed a pickup pull up and park. As the 2 guys got out he notices they are some big ol boys ( man I hope thats not my people ) Shure nough here they come and when they get to the walk-way they did a you go first no you go first. He said they almost swamped his Skeeter getting into the boat. Once in the boat they were already asking for something to eat and drink. He drove out (not getting on plane) to the middle of the creek about 200 yards and stopped and started fishing. Every time one of them moved, made him cringe from the cracking noises coming from the boat. He said he was real glad when they ran out of anything to eat and wanted to go back to the ramp 2 hours later. He told them he would be right their as they walked toward Fishermans Cove to eat and as soon as they were out of sight he set a time record loading the boat and hauling a--.

The worst customers are the ones that disrespect your property. Stepping on your seats in your boat, burning them with cigarettes. So drunk they can not fish and vomitting everytime you move the boat. They break your windshields from grabbing on to them and pulling themselfs up from the seats and spill coffee, beer and sodas all over your boat and leave the mess for you to clean up.

Some of my favorite saying usually come from the same people.
" Take me to your spot where I can catch a ten pounder "
" How come this is not like on TV where the catch them every cast"
" I can throw anything you got "
" I'm getting a nibble "
" Dang, one had it in his mouth and swam all the way to the boat with it "

But my favorite has to be.
The the guy that booked a " Sight fishing Trip " I noticed that he was having a really hard time seeing the fish or even the beds in the water. He finally admitted to being legally blind in both eyes.

Craig

Now the blind man sight fishing is the best so far. Now thats funny

You mean to tell me, bass don't "nibble"? LOL

Worst one I can think of is a guide (that shall remain nameless) had a guy have a heart attack while fishing and died in the parking lot before EMS could get here...I was just a little kid when it happened.

That was a strange day...he wasn't an old man either

All guides should should know how to administer CPR.If not learn it's very IMPORTANT.

Wife and I booked a trip with a guide one time on Richland Chambers. I will say this now just so people don't get confused. It was NOT Steve, Bob, or Royce. They have all heard this story before and know who I am talking about.

We booked a crappie trip, and started fishing at sun up. Well, at 9:30 the guide said he had to take some prescription pain meds. What we didn't expect was him to wash it down with a whole bottle of Budweiser! That was just the beginning of a very long day. One turned into 12! By noon he was completely sloshed. He was to the point that he was trying to cover up the sound of the bottle being opened by coughing.

By 1 o'clock, I said take us it. We had enough. He was so lit, he was wobbling up the ramp at Clear View Marina (As you can tell, this was several years ago). We put the fish into our cooler, and I even cleaned them myself. I didn't want to have anything to do with that particular guide.

Haven't spoken to him since then. There is absolutely no reason for a guide to be drinking while he's got customers in the boat. At the ramp afterwards, no problem. But not before then.

I dont think some of us can tell some of the stories. This is a public forum. That might be biting the hand that feeds us.

I will say on a couple of occasions people have assured me (and I'm sure other guides can back me up) "I dont see it, I dont think there is one there" or "lets move, theres no fish here" or "it cant be caught." Eventually, after an hour or two, you cant stand it anymore, pick up a rod, hook the fish and hand them the rod. Both times it happend I made sure it was okay first.

One time there was an older gentleman standing next to me and I was trying to teach him a little about pitching. Anyway, a fish took off with the jig and I started yelling set the hook. After the fish ran for a while he set the hook (80lb line with drag cranked down.) His right hand slipped off the reel and he started to panic. The fish made a run and he started to fall out of the boat. Just as he started leaning forward over the edge of the boat, about to go overboard I grabbed the back of his shirt with one hand and the base of the pole with the other.

Eventually he got some good footing and his hand back on the reel and a 9 lber to the boat. The smile on that guys face was priceless. I have never been so glad to have my Calais DC back in my hands and out of the customers though... I really thought it was a gonner.

Good stories... I gotta hand it to you guides. I don't think I could let some average Joe come in and use my equipment. It means too much to me and not near enough to them.

Guys i have the best guide story that every guide dreams about. a good friend of mine was a guide several years ago and he got a trip where he had to take out a mother and daughter. the mother was about 38 and the dau was 19. he mentioned it was apparent they were not out there to fish, they stripped down to their bikinis and just layed out on the back of the boat to tan while he fished. after a good while of fishing he mentioned that he needed the two ladies to step to the front of the boat while he went to the back when nature called and vise versa. so when it came time for him to step to the back of the boat the ladies moved to the front. well what i have failed to mention in this story is that he had a bad seal on the live well pump to his boat....so it leaked water into the boat slowly. so as he made his way to the back of the boat he reached over and flipped on the bilge pump for a minute so he could get rid of the water in the bottom of his boat. he said the next thing he new was that the two women almost broke their neck getting to the back of the boat to see what was shooting that stream.

i hope i dont get in trouble for that one.

I had a guide read a book. That was a blast. I think he said two words the entire day, which doubled the number of fish I caught.

I went fishing for hybrids last year with my buddy who in turn brought another guy along whom I had never met. The new guy said he had fished tons of times before and had caught plenty of hybrids in the past. Well...we start trolling and occassionally got hung up from time to time, not a big deal though with a couple of pulls we always came loose. However, the new guy gets hung up or catches a world record hybrid and sets the hook as if were the last fish on earth. He keeps pulling back on the heavy action rod until its just about made a complete circle until finally it snaps. The broken rod tip flies back and hits his face. It left a half inch cut on his cheek. He had the best "shocked" expression I'd ever seen!

I came home from working overseas and took my best friend fishing. We used to fish together a couple of times a week, but I had been gone for 5 months...so this was kind of a special trip. He had never fished on Fork before, so I hired a very well known and popular guide to take us out. I wanted to make sure my buddy had a good time. It looked like the weather was going to be bad, so I paid the guide extra for his trouble...and I paid him up front. The weather turned out to not be nearly as bad as we thought it was going to be, and the fishing was actually decent. Too bad he front ended us all day. I think he caught about 15, while I had 9, and my buddy had 3. I wasn't too happy. I won't mention his name, but I also won't book him again.

My name is James I am a guide on Lake Amistad about 3 weeks ago I have a couple from Oklahoma I take out. Great people not a lot of experience in Bass fishing. No problem I get them on drop shots and carolina rigs. The man brings one real so I lone him a Falcon Rod and a Shimano Curado for the Carolina rig. Fishing is so, so not the greatest day we have about 15 one to two pound fish in the boat. My customer is smoking a cigarette and holding my rod and reel in another hand when about a five pounder hits and comes out of the water. cigarette was more important than my rod and reel. Fish came out of the water two or three more times trying to spit the hook out. Customer tells me I am sorry I will pay you for rod and reel. Guess what no money to pay for reel at end of day. No problem he will send when he gets back home. Never recieved and he also burned a hole in my seat cover on my boat. They were very nice though and we had a good time. P.S. fishing same spot last week and I caught my rod and reel still in good shape little cleaning and oil. Thanks,
Captain James J. Burkeen http://www.amistadbassin.com

How'd you catch the rod/reel? were you fishin' for it?

I guess the fish was gone... right?

Making a living doing what you love is price-less.

You don't have to be a guide to have "good stories". How about a rod getting knocked overboard by a fishing partner with no recolection of how it happened or a 250 mile round trip fishing day with no help on gas $. I bet the guides have dozens and dozens of stories to share and it is a hoot listening to them.