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Consultants and Time Management
#12854612
08/05/18 11:44 PM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 82,437
Bob Davis
OP
Bunkeroid Bob
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OP
Bunkeroid Bob
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 82,437 |
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Very Impressive!
At a restaurant I noticed that all of the waiters had spoons in their shirt pockets so I asked our waiter why.
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly so I asked him what that was for. "Well", he said, "that consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom by tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what. Then, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%." I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
Foxtrot Juliet Bravo
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854616
08/05/18 11:46 PM
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,512
Kentucky
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,512 |
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854617
08/05/18 11:47 PM
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 22,230
Davedave
Bigfoot Seeker
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Bigfoot Seeker
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 22,230 |
Sporks are the premier utensil, and for some reason dont get the credit they deserve.
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854618
08/05/18 11:48 PM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,473
K.D.
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 15,473 |
That Bob Davis... I tell you, he never disappoints
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854620
08/05/18 11:48 PM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 19,768
Bee'z
honey boo boo
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honey boo boo
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 19,768 |
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854622
08/05/18 11:51 PM
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 52,098
grandpa75672
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 52,098 |
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.... W.C.Fields
I know a little about a lot of things but not a whole lot about anything....CGD
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Davedave]
#12854623
08/05/18 11:51 PM
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 25,752
elcoyote, esq.
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 25,752 |
Sporks are the premier utensil, and for some reason dont get the credit they deserve. There has yet to be invented a utensil greater than the spork for eating Mac and cheese or a chicken pot pie.
Team wolfs I had to perform. It took a minute to get it all in my mouth and another five to swallow it all.
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bee'z]
#12854624
08/05/18 11:51 PM
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 61,036
LoneStarSon
Private Dancer
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Private Dancer
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 61,036 |
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854626
08/05/18 11:55 PM
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 28,418
Okie Poke
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 28,418 |
True sense of the phrase "Ever been spooned"? From now on I will be eating my soup with a fork.
😎 Dallas Cowboys....eventual Superbowl Champions 😎
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854628
08/05/18 11:56 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 22,509
lconn4
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 22,509 |
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854661
08/06/18 12:26 AM
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 38,822
KingwoodCat
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 38,822 |
"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him had better take a look at the American Indian".
Henry Ford
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854687
08/06/18 12:51 AM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5,725
JCG57
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5,725 |
An oldie and a good one at that. The Andersen Consulting reference tells you that this joke preceded the Enron meltdown and subsequent takedown of Andersen.
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854871
08/06/18 10:55 AM
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 9,446
SgtDag
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 9,446 |
Funny stuff
"If you're going through hell keep going." Winston Churchill I open mouth kiss my sisters
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854885
08/06/18 11:31 AM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,975
Trebor Neil
TFF Guru
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TFF Guru
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,975 |
Got me!!
You bettcha! oofta!
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Re: Consultants and Time Management
[Re: Bob Davis]
#12854900
08/06/18 12:01 PM
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,079
beartrap
TFF Celebrity
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TFF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,079 |
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