This is one an old(80 something) friend of mine loves to tell...

When the geese fly South for the winter, they fly in V shape formations and sometimes the V is bigger on one side. He thoughtfully asks why is that???


Because there are more geese on that side!!!


So stupid and makes me laugh every time and I know it is coming

Jack: Why do fish swim in schools?
Jill: I don�t know.
Jack: Because they can�t walk!

And one one of my Scouts told me years ago...

A pirate walks into a bar with a ships helm sticking out of the top of his pants. The bartender asks wow isn't that uncomfortable? Pirate says Arrgh its driving me nuts!!

Two guys were fishing for the first time ever and had rented a boat. As luck would have it the first spot they stopped at they started catching fish one after the other. One guy said to the other" dude we got to mark this spot and come back again tomorrow". "How do you propose to do that" said the other. " Simple" said the first. "I'll mark an X on the side of the boat". " You dummy" said the other, " what if we don't get this same boat and somebody else finds our spot "?
My dad use to tell my brother and I this joke everytime we got together and we laughed our a$$es off, not because the joke was funny but because he told it everytime we saw him. I betcha he laughed hard at us because we laughed at the same joke all the time.
I miss my dad.

I ask the bar tender to line up ten shots of tequila.. As quick as he pored the first one I shot it .. then the second. Then the third. Woo there bud he says. Why drink so fast ? If you had what I have you would drink fast to... Sorry what do you have ? about 1.56..

guy walks into a bar with a largemouth on his head...bartender says "can I help You?" the largemouth says yea, can you get this guy off my butt?

What did the bass say when it swam into the wall?

Dam

What did the dam say when the bass swam into it?

Dumb bass

After reading these maybe we don't

Why do divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat!

You guys need to hang onto your day jobs.

Hope y�all don�t quit y�alls day jobs to pick up comedy .

One day..

Steve and Bob were out fishing when a funeral service passed over the bridge they were fishing by.

Steve took his hat off and put it over his heart until the funeral service passed by.

Bob said "Gee Steve, I didn't know you had it in you!"

Steve replied, "The least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."

That one made me laugh!

That�s funny...

One Saturday I got up at 4am to be on the water at daylight. I hadn't checked the weather and when I walked outside it was pouring down. No big deal, I'll go to the shop and work on organizing some tackle, respool and what not until the rain lets up. I ended up spending a couple of hours out there and heard a weather report that it's going to be a monsoon all day. So I decide to blow it off and go back to the house.
I put on a pot of coffee and wander into the bedroom. The wife is still laying there with her back to me, covers thrown back and in her bday suit. I'm thinking this might not be a wasted morning after all I shucked the clothes and spooned up next to her and whispered in her ear, "It is raining cats and dogs out there." And she replied in her sexiest come hither voice, " I know, can you believe my dumb azz husband has gone fishing?"